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Top 9 Jen Kirkman Quotes (2025 Update)

Jen Kirkman Quote: “It’s not that I can’t cook. I just don’t enjoy cooking. It takes too long and you have to stand there monitoring everything, which doesn’t work well for me and my ADHD.”

1. “It’s not that I can’t cook. I just don’t enjoy cooking. It takes too long and you have to stand there monitoring everything, which doesn’t work well for me and my ADHD.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.”

2. “I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “The bottom line is that the choices we make often make sense to us but can confuse others. Somebody is always going to be disappointed with your life choice, and my rule of thumb is that as long as I’m not the one who is disappointed, I can live with that.”

3. “The bottom line is that the choices we make often make sense to us but can confuse others. Somebody is always going to be disappointed with your life choice, and my rule of thumb is that as long as I’m not the one who is disappointed, I can live with that.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “I THINK THAT people confuse a woman with empathy with someone who has the emotional means to raise a child. I’m not mother material but I’m a nice person, sure. And I’m a nice person because I’m usually in a good mood and I’m usually in a good mood because I’m not responsible for raising a child I don’t want.”

4. “I THINK THAT people confuse a woman with empathy with someone who has the emotional means to raise a child. I’m not mother material but I’m a nice person, sure. And I’m a nice person because I’m usually in a good mood and I’m usually in a good mood because I’m not responsible for raising a child I don’t want.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “Invalidating a woman’s life choices by saying things like, “Oh, but you’ll regret it if you don’t have kids,” or, “I didn’t think I wanted kids either until I had one,” is like me going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and telling the newly sober that eventually when they grow old, they’ll want to take the edge off with a little gin and tonic and that if they could only just be mature enough to control themselves, they could go on a fun wine-tasting tour in the Napa Valley.”

5. “Invalidating a woman’s life choices by saying things like, “Oh, but you’ll regret it if you don’t have kids,” or, “I didn’t think I wanted kids either until I had one,” is like me going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and telling the newly sober that eventually when they grow old, they’ll want to take the edge off with a little gin and tonic and that if they could only just be mature enough to control themselves, they could go on a fun wine-tasting tour in the Napa Valley.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “At least I knew that if someone broke in the alarm was so annoying that he would immediately leave. It’s like how I feel when I walk into a store in December and that awful Paul McCartney song ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ is playing. Not worth it. I’m out of here even though I could have finished all my holiday shopping in one place.”

6. “At least I knew that if someone broke in the alarm was so annoying that he would immediately leave. It’s like how I feel when I walk into a store in December and that awful Paul McCartney song ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ is playing. Not worth it. I’m out of here even though I could have finished all my holiday shopping in one place.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love – or to get on your partner’s health insurance policy, or for presents? No one was going to buy two people in their thirties a four-slice toaster if we just continued to live in sin.”

7. “I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love – or to get on your partner’s health insurance policy, or for presents? No one was going to buy two people in their thirties a four-slice toaster if we just continued to live in sin.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “Can we all admit that the sound of a kid squealing, even if it’s with joy, sounds like squealing? I can angrily press the button on an air horn or I can press the button on an air horn with a sense of carefree fun and either way it sounds like an air horn.”

8. “Can we all admit that the sound of a kid squealing, even if it’s with joy, sounds like squealing? I can angrily press the button on an air horn or I can press the button on an air horn with a sense of carefree fun and either way it sounds like an air horn.”

— Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quote: “I’d learned that you couldn’t talk to kids about death or show them music videos of of men who sing in eyeliner. I possibly had turned one kid into an obsessive-compulsive with the urge to murder, and another kid gay. I’m not equating being a murderer with being gay, but from what I understand, either can be a difficult thing to admit to your family.”

9. “I’d learned that you couldn’t talk to kids about death or show them music videos of of men who sing in eyeliner. I possibly had turned one kid into an obsessive-compulsive with the urge to murder, and another kid gay. I’m not equating being a murderer with being gay, but from what I understand, either can be a difficult thing to admit to your family.”

— Jen Kirkman

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