Top 20 Jennifer Rardin Quotes (2024 Update)

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “All you can do is hang in there and hope you don’t get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.”

1. “All you can do is hang in there and hope you don’t get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “When I bite you, it’ll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won’t need stitches afterward. You’ll need crutches.”

2. “When I bite you, it’ll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won’t need stitches afterward. You’ll need crutches.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That’ll get you points in heaven.”

3. “There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That’ll get you points in heaven.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “I described the pyramid we’d found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he’s afraid of wagons. And bands.”

4. “I described the pyramid we’d found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he’s afraid of wagons. And bands.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I’m pretty sure it’s hard enough to bust heads.”

5. “Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I’m pretty sure it’s hard enough to bust heads.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “That’s what I’d call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.”

6. “That’s what I’d call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “It must’ve been Albert’s military background, because man, when he dropped a bomb the entire country shook. I was still jittery as a hurricane survivor in New Orleans, and I was sure that somewhere in Alaska some poor Inuit had just taken a tumble from his sled for the very same reason.”

7. “It must’ve been Albert’s military background, because man, when he dropped a bomb the entire country shook. I was still jittery as a hurricane survivor in New Orleans, and I was sure that somewhere in Alaska some poor Inuit had just taken a tumble from his sled for the very same reason.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot’s Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.”

8. “Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot’s Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “I can’t belly dance.? Yes, you can. It’s in your fi – ? Will you stop reading my goddamn file!”

9. “I can’t belly dance.? Yes, you can. It’s in your fi – ? Will you stop reading my goddamn file!”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks’s Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!”

10. “The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks’s Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Apparently you don’t have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.”

11. “Apparently you don’t have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “I’m sure it’s nothing switching to a light beer won’t cure.”

12. “I’m sure it’s nothing switching to a light beer won’t cure.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Then I got this image of my big toe, painted bright red, suddenly developing a face and a hot Southern temper to match, screaming, “What the hell is wrong with mah bad self?”

13. “Then I got this image of my big toe, painted bright red, suddenly developing a face and a hot Southern temper to match, screaming, “What the hell is wrong with mah bad self?”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Whatever happened to ‘Hey, how are you?’ ‘Long time, no see.’ Apparently you don’t have to observe the rules of etiquette when reuniting with a murderous spouse.”

14. “Whatever happened to ‘Hey, how are you?’ ‘Long time, no see.’ Apparently you don’t have to observe the rules of etiquette when reuniting with a murderous spouse.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, “Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!”

15. “The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, “Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Still enmeshed from the knees down, Vayl flopped off the cabinet before we realized he needed a hand down, falling fast and hard like a penguin who hasn’t bought the whole flightless scenario.”

16. “Still enmeshed from the knees down, Vayl flopped off the cabinet before we realized he needed a hand down, falling fast and hard like a penguin who hasn’t bought the whole flightless scenario.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.”

17. “Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “Hey, if you’re going to price yourself, I say go high.”

18. “Hey, if you’re going to price yourself, I say go high.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.”

19. “So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “We went to the door and I let Asha in. I expected an uberawkward moment when he and Vayl met. But Asha took care of that problem right away. “So you belong to Jasmine,” he said in his melancholy voice. It somehow delivered Vayl his deepest condolences without bearing a trace of malice toward me.”

20. “We went to the door and I let Asha in. I expected an uberawkward moment when he and Vayl met. But Asha took care of that problem right away. “So you belong to Jasmine,” he said in his melancholy voice. It somehow delivered Vayl his deepest condolences without bearing a trace of malice toward me.”

— Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin Quote: “And yet I sense you would cheerfully slam my head against the wall if you thought you could get away with it. Why is that?”

21. “And yet I sense you would cheerfully slam my head against the wall if you thought you could get away with it. Why is that?”

— Jennifer Rardin

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