Top 50 Jessica Townsend Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “The thing about numpties, Mog, is that they can always find plenty of other numpties to believe their numpty nonsense. You know what they say: You’re never more than six feet away from a numpty.”

— Jessica Townsend

2. “Burn brightly, Morrigan Crow.”

— Jessica Townsend

3. “We don’t ignore bigotry, Jack. That’s how cowardly bigots turn into brave bigots.”

— Jessica Townsend

4. “Dancing on the deck of a boat with a beautiful woman and, for some reason, a meerkat.”

— Jessica Townsend

5. “When she found his body in the weak winter morning light, Morrigan crouched down beside him in the dirt, a frown creasing her forehead. She stroked his black pelt from the top of his head to the tip of his bushy tail. ‘Sorry, kitchen cat,’ she murmured.”

— Jessica Townsend

6. “We have danced, we have dined, we have drunk our fill. We have bid a tender and triumphant farewell to the Olden Age, and now we must step boldly into the new. May it be a good and happy one. May it bring unexpected adventures.”

— Jessica Townsend

7. “Fenestra was silent for a while, and Morrigan thought she’d fallen asleep standing up. Then she felt something warm, wet, and sandpapery lick the entire right side of her face. She sniffled again, and Fen’s big gray head rubbed her shoulder affectionately. “Thanks, Fen,” Morrigan said quietly. She heard Fenestra padding softly to the door. “Fen?” “Mmm?” “Your saliva smells like sardines.” “Yeah, well. I’m a cat.” “Now my face smells like sardines.” “I don’t care. I’m a cat.” “Night, Fen.”

— Jessica Townsend

8. “Don’t forget who finished the Show Trial in the number one spot on the leaderboard.” He paused for a moment, then added, “It was you. In case you actually did forget.”

— Jessica Townsend

9. “Frank the vampire dwarf, party planner extraordinaire.”

— Jessica Townsend

10. “Perhaps your destiny, your lifelong role in the Wundrous Society, is to bring light to the world, in whatever form that might take – music, or art, or politics, or making a truly excellent leek and potato soup – to balance out the dark. To distract people from it. To keep Nevermoor from being consumed by it.”

— Jessica Townsend

11. “No, Francis, I got it from the shop like a normal person.”

— Jessica Townsend

12. “The point is – as far as the Society is concerned – if you are not honest, and determined, and brave, then it doesn’t matter how talented you are.”

— Jessica Townsend

13. “I have a knack for seeing things.” “What sort of things?” “True things.” He shrugged. “Things that have happened, things that are happening right now. Feelings. Danger. Things that live in the Gossamer.”

— Jessica Townsend

14. “And I’ll tell you this: Your stepmother was wrong.” “Wrong about what?” asked Morrigan, but she knew the answer. Her stomach did a little flip. “She said you were a curse.” Jupiter swallowed and shook his head. “She said it in anger. She didn’t mean it.” “Of course she meant it.” He paused, considering that. “Maybe. But that doesn’t make it true. It doesn’t make her right.”

— Jessica Townsend

15. “Ginger was an understatement, Morrigan thought, trying to hide her astonishment as the hat came off. Ginger of the Year or King Ginger or Big Gingery President of the Ginger Foundation for the Incurably Ginger would have been more accurate. His mane of bright copper waves could probably have won awards.”

— Jessica Townsend

16. “Morrigan frowned. She sometimes felt that her true knack had nothing to do with being a Wundersmith. That it was, in fact, her remarkable ability to assume the worst. It came, of course, from a lifetime of believing she was cursed, and it seemed to be stitched into the very fabric of her being, even now. Telling her not to worry about bad things happening around her was like telling Hawthorne not to get excited about dragons, or Jupiter not to be ginger.”

— Jessica Townsend

17. “So nobody wins?” Morrigan asked. She couldn’t help feeling a little shortchanged. “You must be joking. Presents and snow?” said Jack, laughing as he threw a snowball at Jupiter’s back. “Everybody wins.”

— Jessica Townsend

18. “Only need a spark,” she said with a shrug. “Small sparks make big fires.”

— Jessica Townsend

19. “How did you find it?” “Well, it took me a while,” he said. “But luckily I know lots of people who know lots of things. And I’m nosy by nature, aren’t I?”

— Jessica Townsend

20. “They took a carriage home, and there was silence for most of the journey. Finally, as they turned onto Humdinger Avenue, Jupiter spoke. “You made a friend.” “I think so.” “Anything else of interest?” Morrigan thought for a moment. “I think I made an enemy too.” “I didn’t make my first proper enemy until I was twelve.” He sounded impressed. “Maybe that’s my knack?” Jupiter chuckled.”

— Jessica Townsend

21. “Morrigan didn’t like the sound of the Goal-Setting and Achieving Club for Highly Ambitious Youth, which met on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evenings, and all day Sunday. But she thought she could probably get on board with Introverts Utterly Anonymous, which promised no meetings or gatherings of any sort, ever.”

— Jessica Townsend

22. “Masquerade,’ Squall said simply. By the.”

— Jessica Townsend

23. “One thing you all should know about me: I’ve got very high biscuit standards.”

— Jessica Townsend

24. “Welcome, Unit 919, to the first day of the rest of your lives.”

— Jessica Townsend

25. “You bought poisonous mushrooms,” Mahir said, blinking at him, “from somewhere called a murdergarden?” Francis shrugged and said again, “They have a little shop.”

— Jessica Townsend

26. “Morrigan’s night held only one possibility. Like every other child born precisely eleven years ago on the last Eventide, when the clock struck midnight she would die-the eleven short years of her doomed life complete; her curse finally fulfilled.”

— Jessica Townsend

27. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been quite so angry in all my life. I think I could bottle this rage and sell it to – I don’t know, competitive heavyweight boxers or something.”

— Jessica Townsend

28. “Morrigan only just managed to stop herself from reaching out and stroking them. Might be weird, she thought.”

— Jessica Townsend

29. “Their motto is If Not for Us, You’d All Be Speaking Zombie.”

— Jessica Townsend

30. “The door swung shut in Jupiter’s wake. Morrigan threw a piece of toast at it.”

— Jessica Townsend

31. “If everyone were educated, where would servants come from?”

— Jessica Townsend

32. “Her voice made Morrigan think of a sheet of glass: perfectly smooth all along its surface, with a sharp edge concealed at the end.”

— Jessica Townsend

33. “Very... shiny. Jack winced a little and snapped the eye patch back into place. Potentially dangerous levels of cheer.”

— Jessica Townsend

34. “Now if you’ve finished pestering me, I’d like to catch up on the seven scheduled naps I’ve already missed today.”

— Jessica Townsend

35. “Morrigan shook her head, trying – and failing – to control a smile that was twitching at the corners of her mouth. She felt a warm, sunshiny glow right in the center of her chest, as if a cat had curled up there and was purring contentedly.”

— Jessica Townsend

36. “It was the CAT!”

— Jessica Townsend

37. “I have no time for childish problems. Should any arise, you will either take them up with your unit conductor, or squash them deep down in the pit of your soul where they shall no longer bother you. Have I made myself clear?”

— Jessica Townsend

38. “There was something almost comforting about the presence of these black-cloaked strangers staring down at her from the trees.”

— Jessica Townsend

39. “The night was uncommon and crowded with possibility.”

— Jessica Townsend

40. “Did you just see that bloke with a pitchfork?” Hawthorne’s voice had jumped up half an octave, his eyes grown wide. “Who even owns a pitchfork? I don’t even know what a pitchfork is for!”

— Jessica Townsend

41. “He gently pressed the grouting between the bricks with his fingertips, leaned in to sniff it, and then gave the wall a tentative lick. Morrigan gave him a look of horror. “Ugh, stop that. What are you doing?”

— Jessica Townsend

42. “Where are you going, o son of the morning?” he sang softly. When he sang, Squall’s voice was unsettlingly gentle and sweet. Much lovelier than Morrigan’s. It shouldn’t sound like that, she thought. It should sound ugly and jagged. Like his heart.”

— Jessica Townsend

43. “I liked that thing you did too. You know, ‘consider your next words carefully’ and all that,” he said, mimicking her low, angry voice. “But I reckon the only language some people understand is the language of the surprise dessert attack.”

— Jessica Townsend

44. “She cast a look at the octopus-shaped armchair in the corner, which gave a sinister flick of its tentacles. The maid shuddered. “I do wish you’d get rid of that thing. It’s a nightmare to dust.”

— Jessica Townsend

45. “Seeing her own name spelled out in dragon fire was only the latest in a series of firsts, but she had to admit it was one of the better ones so far.”

— Jessica Townsend

46. “The real, actual Paximus Luck? Plucky?” Mahir clarified. “The famous master illusionist slash stealth prankster slash vigilante street artist?”

— Jessica Townsend

47. “Perhaps I should have murdered you too, you wretched disappointment,” he snarled, and for an instant his face was the foul mask of a man possessed, the black-eyed, black-mouthed Wundersmith of legend emerging in a moment of uncontrolled fury. Then it was gone. And the mild, perfectly contained man was back. Just like that.”

— Jessica Townsend

48. “It was a small act of pettiness, but by gentle, tenderhearted Martha’s standards, it was a declaration of all-out war, and Morrigan adored her for it.”

— Jessica Townsend

49. “Elder Alioth Saga – who was, in fact, a large talking bull.”

— Jessica Townsend

50. “Why do you keep apologizing?” asked President Wintersea. “Dreadful habit for girls to get into, you must break it at once.”

— Jessica Townsend