Top 25 Jim Jefferies Quotes (2024 Update)

Jim Jefferies Quote: “The thing about crazy people; they don’t know they are crazy, that’s what make them crazy.”

1. “The thing about crazy people; they don’t know they are crazy, that’s what make them crazy.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?”

2. “Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Can’t punch women in the face!”

3. “Can’t punch women in the face!”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.”

4. “We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “If you hate gay marriage, then don’t marry a gay person.”

5. “If you hate gay marriage, then don’t marry a gay person.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Nobody cares that you’re smart and nobody cares that your kids don’t have bruises.”

6. “Nobody cares that you’re smart and nobody cares that your kids don’t have bruises.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it’s not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it’s never interesting.”

7. “Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it’s not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it’s never interesting.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “God built the world, but he did not know it was round.”

8. “God built the world, but he did not know it was round.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I’ve never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group.”

9. “I’ve never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I think only things that are personal to us offend us. It’s always bizarre when people who would normally laugh at an AIDS joke won’t laugh at a cancer joke, but far more people know somebody who’s died from cancer.”

10. “I think only things that are personal to us offend us. It’s always bizarre when people who would normally laugh at an AIDS joke won’t laugh at a cancer joke, but far more people know somebody who’s died from cancer.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I don’t write my standup on paper or anything; but I just organically do it on stage, have an idea, chat it up a little bit. I’m keeping notes. I’m trying to keep up with this world and try to bring out a special every year.”

11. “I don’t write my standup on paper or anything; but I just organically do it on stage, have an idea, chat it up a little bit. I’m keeping notes. I’m trying to keep up with this world and try to bring out a special every year.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I have tried reading the Bible but that’s a tough read there. I watch a lot of religious documentaries. I have a keen interest in religion for someone who’s not religious.”

12. “I have tried reading the Bible but that’s a tough read there. I watch a lot of religious documentaries. I have a keen interest in religion for someone who’s not religious.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Stand-up is just me trying to be as funny as possible in the most concentrated hour with me standing on stage with no storyline, no plot line, and no character development.”

13. “Stand-up is just me trying to be as funny as possible in the most concentrated hour with me standing on stage with no storyline, no plot line, and no character development.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Before doing stand-up, I thought acting was easy – it’s not easy. It’s a hard life. It’s easy in its own way, you just stand there and talk. But there is a difference between people who can do it well and people who can’t.”

14. “Before doing stand-up, I thought acting was easy – it’s not easy. It’s a hard life. It’s easy in its own way, you just stand there and talk. But there is a difference between people who can do it well and people who can’t.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.”

15. “Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I was 13 when I was started questioning and 16 when I stopped believing in God.”

16. “I was 13 when I was started questioning and 16 when I stopped believing in God.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I’m a bad person, basically.”

17. “No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I’m a bad person, basically.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Myself and Jamie Moffat did not agree on everything but he always knew I had the experience.”

18. “Myself and Jamie Moffat did not agree on everything but he always knew I had the experience.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “There’s a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I’ve always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I’m trying to entertain myself more than anything.”

19. “There’s a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I’ve always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I’m trying to entertain myself more than anything.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Because of the way I’ve made my money or the way I’ve conducted myself in public to get success, it doesn’t make me any better a person. So I always thought money and achievement would make me a more legitimate person, where my family seems to think it’s all about actions.”

20. “Because of the way I’ve made my money or the way I’ve conducted myself in public to get success, it doesn’t make me any better a person. So I always thought money and achievement would make me a more legitimate person, where my family seems to think it’s all about actions.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I wouldn’t perform in front of the Nazis. I hear they didn’t take freedom of speech too well. It would be a fun gig to rip into them, but I don’t think the ending would be great for me.”

21. “I wouldn’t perform in front of the Nazis. I hear they didn’t take freedom of speech too well. It would be a fun gig to rip into them, but I don’t think the ending would be great for me.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I don’t want people to leave the show being upset. So if I am trying to do a new joke, and sometimes I will talk about things like gun control or hostile massacre and I notice people being upset I will change the direction.”

22. “I don’t want people to leave the show being upset. So if I am trying to do a new joke, and sometimes I will talk about things like gun control or hostile massacre and I notice people being upset I will change the direction.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I don’t think I’ve ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.”

23. “I don’t think I’ve ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “Having your own show, where you’re not in trouble all the time, because you’re kind of the boss, is a wonderful experience. If I made mistakes everyone was very nice to me.”

24. “Having your own show, where you’re not in trouble all the time, because you’re kind of the boss, is a wonderful experience. If I made mistakes everyone was very nice to me.”

— Jim Jefferies

Jim Jefferies Quote: “I definitely think the formula to making my character seem sweet is to let him act like a jerk, give him a redeeming moment, and have a sweet song playing over the background when it happens.”

25. “I definitely think the formula to making my character seem sweet is to let him act like a jerk, give him a redeeming moment, and have a sweet song playing over the background when it happens.”

— Jim Jefferies

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