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Top 70 Jimmy Carr Quotes (2025 Update)
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Jimmy Carr Quote: “To say that ‘life’s a joke’ is not so much to belittle life as to correctly identify the elusive nature of the joke. Jokes have the measure of us. They change in the telling, defy capture, slip through our fingers like water. And they outlast us all. They are trifles, fragments, nothings that turn out to be all that’s left: the aptest metaphor for our pathetic species’ struggle to survive.”

51. “To say that ‘life’s a joke’ is not so much to belittle life as to correctly identify the elusive nature of the joke. Jokes have the measure of us. They change in the telling, defy capture, slip through our fingers like water. And they outlast us all. They are trifles, fragments, nothings that turn out to be all that’s left: the aptest metaphor for our pathetic species’ struggle to survive.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “People say, “Now you’ve given up booze at least you can remember what you did last night.” I say, “Yeah, nothing.” – Frank Skinner.”

52. “People say, “Now you’ve given up booze at least you can remember what you did last night.” I say, “Yeah, nothing.” – Frank Skinner.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.”

53. “As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes – anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.”

54. “I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes – anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.”

55. “I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.”

56. “You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.”

57. “It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “It’s so clear cut with a comedian – you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don’t. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.”

58. “It’s so clear cut with a comedian – you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don’t. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I don’t see myself as offending people.”

59. “I don’t see myself as offending people.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I go around the country and do a simple gag like, ‘The property ladder is now a snake’ and get a real laugh.”

60. “I go around the country and do a simple gag like, ‘The property ladder is now a snake’ and get a real laugh.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.”

61. “The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don’t do that, I tell jokes – the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.”

62. “I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don’t do that, I tell jokes – the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “But what’s true about comedians is that we’ve all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we’re the one person facing in the opposite direction – yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.”

63. “But what’s true about comedians is that we’ve all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we’re the one person facing in the opposite direction – yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn’t see any humour in my life at all.”

64. “It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn’t see any humour in my life at all.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Even if you’re doing the national insurance awards, there’s still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.”

65. “Even if you’re doing the national insurance awards, there’s still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “You go, well you can’t joke about race. Well if you’re from a different race and that’s your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can’t talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.”

66. “You go, well you can’t joke about race. Well if you’re from a different race and that’s your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can’t talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I think that comedians, more than any other type of celebrity, have to keep their humour and keep their feet on the ground. If they start taking themselves too seriously, they’re heading for a fall.”

67. “I think that comedians, more than any other type of celebrity, have to keep their humour and keep their feet on the ground. If they start taking themselves too seriously, they’re heading for a fall.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny’s words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.”

68. “After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny’s words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that’s partly down to confidence.”

69. “Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that’s partly down to confidence.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.”

70. “More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “I pay what I have to and not a penny more.”

71. “I pay what I have to and not a penny more.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Common sense and a sense of humour, are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour, is just common sense, dancing.”

72. “Common sense and a sense of humour, are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour, is just common sense, dancing.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Fear is nothing to be afraid of. Fear is a performance-enhancing drug.”

73. “Fear is nothing to be afraid of. Fear is a performance-enhancing drug.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Actually, seriousness is not incompatible with joking. It’s a common mistake to confuse ‘serious’ with ‘solemn’, and to assume that seriousness of purpose can only be conveyed by solemnity of tone.”

74. “Actually, seriousness is not incompatible with joking. It’s a common mistake to confuse ‘serious’ with ‘solemn’, and to assume that seriousness of purpose can only be conveyed by solemnity of tone.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Here’s the truth of it: no one wants you to follow your dream. Best-case scenario, they’ll want you to follow their dream for you.”

75. “Here’s the truth of it: no one wants you to follow your dream. Best-case scenario, they’ll want you to follow their dream for you.”

Jimmy Carr Quote: “Be nice because it’s the right thing to do, it’s the best way to act in the world and it is what good human beings do. Being difficult and diva-ish or petulant just makes you hard to deal with, it doesn’t make you more authentic or creative or real.”

76. “Be nice because it’s the right thing to do, it’s the best way to act in the world and it is what good human beings do. Being difficult and diva-ish or petulant just makes you hard to deal with, it doesn’t make you more authentic or creative or real.”

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