Top 120 Jodi Taylor Quotes (2026 Update)
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51. “Whatever it is, you need to face it down. You give it a good kicking, because that’s what you have to do. Then you walk away. And then you turn around, walk back and give it an even bigger one, just because you can.”

— Jodi Taylor

52. “If it’s any reassurance, after what he’s drunk today, I don’t think he could even raise a smile, let alone anything else.”

— Jodi Taylor

53. “I really don’t know why these things are always passed down through the male line – girl children are much more robust than their brothers, and let’s face it, Max – while here may always be doubt about the identity of the father, most people are usually fairly clear about who the mother is.”

— Jodi Taylor

54. “I could have been a bomb-disposal expert, or a volunteer for the Mars mission, or a firefighter, or something safe and sensible. But no, I had to be an historian.”

— Jodi Taylor

55. “Rules give anarchy something to aim at.”

— Jodi Taylor

56. “Teenagers are inarticulate, acne-ridden lumps of inert matter. The only way you can ever induce movement is by trying to separate one from its mobile phone. And if you can do that then the only way you can stop it attacking is with rhinoceros tranquiliser.”

— Jodi Taylor

57. “He was calm and soothing and had a reasonable explanation for everything. No woman should have to put up with that.”

— Jodi Taylor

58. “My margarita-laden mind was struggling to cope. ‘We are History’s instruments,’ Markham cried, dramatically. ‘Tools, more like,’ I said. ‘We are the Tools of History.”

— Jodi Taylor

59. “I’m the world’s lightest sleeper. On a bad day, I can make Lady Macbeth look like a raging narcoleptic.”

— Jodi Taylor

60. “And it’s not just any old panic. It’s highly trained panic. It’s taken years of hard work and practice. Please don’t mock.”

— Jodi Taylor

61. “I’m not a surgeon.’ ‘You don’t have to be. You’re an engineer. That’s almost the same thing.’ ‘Your ignorance is frightening.”

— Jodi Taylor

62. “The only talents he possessed were delusions of adequacy.”

— Jodi Taylor

63. “It’s all very well having these emotional moments, but eventually after two cups of tea, someone has to go to the bathroom.”

— Jodi Taylor

64. “As a measure of our consternation, one or two people nearly put down their cups of tea.”

— Jodi Taylor

65. “The pay is terrible and the conditions are worse, but it’s a wonderful place to work – they have some talented people there.”

— Jodi Taylor

66. “She picked up a slice of Victoria Sponge, broke it into large pieces and tossed them in their direction. I hadn’t had any yet, and could not suppress a small whimper. ‘It’s for science, Director,’ she said. ‘We must all make sacrifices.”

— Jodi Taylor

67. “I made you,’ I said darkly. ‘I can break you.’ He snorted. And.”

— Jodi Taylor

68. “The ground never opens up and swallows you when you need it to.”

— Jodi Taylor

69. “Whether Henry was a royal trendsetter or it was practical under their helmets, I didn’t know. I certainly couldn’t think of any other reason for having the most hideous hairstyle in a History that includes Donald Trump.”

— Jodi Taylor

70. “This had once been a garden. Beautiful glazed pots stood against the walls but now were cracked, crumbling, and contained only dead bushes and weeds. A broken wooden bench had been overturned and lay forlornly on its side. Perhaps even gardens were considered sinful.”

— Jodi Taylor

71. “In an organisation that already contains you, Dr Maxwell, the acquisition of any further irritants would be superfluous.”

— Jodi Taylor

72. “Are you sexually active?’ ‘No. I usually just lie back and think of the Spartans.”

— Jodi Taylor

73. “We need to be clear on this. I don’t like children. There isn’t an orifice that doesn’t exude something unpleasant. Sometimes, all of them exude simultaneously.”

— Jodi Taylor

74. “Some things were above my pay grade. Actually, there were things that slithered on their bellies that were higher than my pay grade.”

— Jodi Taylor

75. “You’re really not fit to be allowed out on your own, are you?’ ‘So, what’s the damage?’ ‘How do you want it? From head to toe? Alphabetically? Chronologically?’ ‘Surprise me.’ ‘Well, your feet are holding up well.’ ‘Glad to hear it. I’ll be on my way then.”

— Jodi Taylor

76. “I am being nice to you. It’s not my fault you’re too thick to notice.”

— Jodi Taylor

77. “Trust me, adhering to everyone else’s rules is unrewarding, emotionally exhausting and not a lot of fun.”

— Jodi Taylor

78. “And of course, in rounders, the balls don’t usually come at you with homicidal intent. That’s hockey.”

— Jodi Taylor

79. “The hero of his age. And yes, he really did have that bloody awful pudding-bowl haircut. They all did. Whether Henry was a royal trendsetter or it was practical under their helmets, I didn’t know. I certainly couldn’t think of any other reason for having the most hideous hairstyle in a History that includes Donald Trump.”

— Jodi Taylor

80. “I know the whole world isn’t really out to get me. I’m pretty sure Switzerland is neutral.”

— Jodi Taylor

81. “In this century, as in any other, men wore the comfortable, practical stuff, and the women wandered round expiring underneath over-decorated tea-cosies and with inadequate footwear.”

— Jodi Taylor

82. “Mr Sussman; you are not a Jedi Knight. Kindly amend the details in Box 3.”

— Jodi Taylor

83. “Of course, they all tried to stand at the same end of the table, which at once tipped over. They landed slightly less gracefully than the dancing hippos in Fantasia.”

— Jodi Taylor

84. “She said nothing in a manner that conveyed volumes. I said nothing in a manner that I hoped conveyed my complete innocence. She said nothing in a manner that conveyed her disbelief in my complete innocence. I said nothing in a manner that conveyed my hurt at this lack of trust in me. She said nothing in a manner that effortlessly conveyed the message that Dr Bairstow wished to see me at his earliest convenience and to collect Dr Peterson while I was at it.”

— Jodi Taylor

85. “Jenny, I’m so sorry. I think I may have encouraged you to marry a madman.’ ‘Yes, we’re going to be discussing this later. Oh.”

— Jodi Taylor

86. “You’re a felon?’ It takes talent to hiss when there isn’t a single ‘s’ in the sentence. ‘Well, yes. Aren’t you?”

— Jodi Taylor

87. “Silence holds no fears for me. I never feel the urge to fill it as so many other people do.”

— Jodi Taylor

88. “Believe it or not, there were rules. Everyone needs rules. After all, how can you break what doesn’t exist? Rules give anarchy something to aim at.”

— Jodi Taylor

89. “Well, you don’t snore like bathwater going down the plughole.’ We listened some more. ‘It’s very – loud.’ ‘He certainly sleeps with enthusiasm.”

— Jodi Taylor

90. “Typical St Mary’s. When the chips are down we don’t whine and we don’t run – we do some damage.”

— Jodi Taylor

91. “Maybe a pig would fly past with a nice cup of tea.”

— Jodi Taylor

92. “A few days later, Peterson and I were called to his office, handed the familiar file folders, and told to get on with it. And to take Mr Markham with us. I didn’t enquire, but I definitely got the impression that bringing him back was a bit of an optional extra.”

— Jodi Taylor

93. “There should be medals struck for men who produce tea at exactly the moment it’s needed.”

— Jodi Taylor

94. “Dr Bairstow regarded him icily. ‘All my staff are handpicked.’ ‘That’s quite true, actually,’ said Markham, sunnily. ‘I’ve been handpicked many times. Mug shots. Police line-ups. ID parades. People are always pointing at me and shouting, “That’s him.”.”

— Jodi Taylor

95. “I avoided Thomas Hardy because everyone should, and anyway, I was depressed enough.”

— Jodi Taylor

96. “Sad, but that’s the way it is. All empires fall sooner or later. I’ve said it before – a large part of our job is watching people die. We read of these events in the History books and it’s all a comfortably long time ago. And yes, I know – out of destruction comes new beginnings – other people have their chance to flourish – but, it’s not easy to watch. Nor should it be.”

— Jodi Taylor

97. “What chest?’ I said, because everyone knows if you ignore persistent, throbbing pain then it goes away. Like toothache. And small children. And overdrafts.”

— Jodi Taylor

98. “We’re St Mary’s. We run on tea.”

— Jodi Taylor

99. “I heard the Boss murmur, ‘I sometimes wonder what goes on in that kitchen,’ and we continued with the briefing.”

— Jodi Taylor

100. “I don’t know how to put this, but sometimes, you don’t know how unhappy someone is until you see them before the unhappiness.”

— Jodi Taylor