Top 120 Jodi Taylor Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

— Jodi Taylor

2. “Helen, in a white coat and stethoscope, effortlessly achieving the sort of discipline for which lesser women would require black leather and a hunting crop, indicated we should form a line. Being St Mary’s, we formed several clumps and a rhomboid.”

— Jodi Taylor

3. “Always listen to your paranoia. It’s keeping you alive and almost certainly has more sense than you do.”

— Jodi Taylor

4. “If in doubt, make tea. I’m at St. Mary’s: if hitting someone didn’t solve the problem, then drinking tea would.”

— Jodi Taylor

5. “Getting things done at St Mary’s is a bit like elephants mating,’ explained Peterson. A remark that caused some mystification. ‘You know – there’s frantic activity at high level. There’s screaming and stamping. A lot of dust is raised. Nothing happens for two years and then you’re crushed by the result.”

— Jodi Taylor

6. “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

— Jodi Taylor

7. “No, he’s made a very good point,’ said Bashford provocatively. ‘Women are just vessels, you know.’ ‘That’s very true,’ said Sykes, smiling angelically at him. ‘I myself am a seventeen-thousand-ton Dreadnought class battleship with enough firepower to destroy a medium-sized city.”

— Jodi Taylor

8. “We walked for a long time in silence. I wasn’t going to nag and I know from Aunt Julia that according to men, mentioning the same thing twice in one decade constitutes nagging, so I shut up.”

— Jodi Taylor

9. “We traipsed back in again to inspect the damage. At least, Pennyroyal and Markham inspected the damage; Smallhope searched the prisoners and I put the kettle on. We all have our own areas of expertise.”

— Jodi Taylor

10. “Don’t stop believing. Ever. Without belief, there is no hope. And without hope, there is nothing. Always believe and then you’ll always have hope.’ I.”

— Jodi Taylor

11. “Groups of men stood around, discussing politics, finance, and their favoured chariot teams: all the things men talk about. You could easily substitute football for gladiators and business suits for togas: nothing changes.”

— Jodi Taylor

12. “Thinking carefully is something that happens to other people.”

— Jodi Taylor

13. “He paused and looked me up and down. ‘Could you kill a man?’ I looked him up and down. ‘Eventually.”

— Jodi Taylor

14. “For wherever Historians go, chaos is sure to follow in their wake.”

— Jodi Taylor

15. “We all had to go on a course where bright, sparkly people with frightening smiles exhorted us to embrace change because those who can’t die out. I think they cited the dinosaurs.”

— Jodi Taylor

16. “Everyone in the building was pleasant and friendly and helpful. They had to be the nicest, politest, most inclusive sinister organisation up to no good in the whole history of sinister organisations up to no good.”

— Jodi Taylor

17. “If you want someone dead then do it. I keep saying this. Don’t gloat – just shoot.”

— Jodi Taylor

18. “Yes, yes, I did. I did this. I locked my pod. He couldn’t get to safety.”

— Jodi Taylor

19. “I avoided Thomas Hardy because everyone should, and anyway, I was depressed enough. And Dickens. I’ve never liked Dickens. I laughed like mad when Little Nell died.”

— Jodi Taylor

20. “IT, that goes for you too. Any difficulties, tell me, so I can stare at you, baffled and confused.”

— Jodi Taylor

21. “She fought off a T-rex with just a pepper spray and bad language. You couldn’t be in better hands.”

— Jodi Taylor

22. “He’ll stand up for you and protect you and kill dragons for you, but he won’t always know that sometimes, he’s the dragon.”

— Jodi Taylor

23. “There’s something very satisfying about outwitting religious fanaticism.”

— Jodi Taylor

24. “Society is rigid. Everyone knows everyone else in their world. Everyone has their place in the scheme of things. If you don’t belong to a family, a tribe, a village, a guild, whatever, you don’t exist then, either. And you can’t just pitch up somewhere without mutual acquaintances, recommendations, or letters of introduction. Life on the fringes of society, any society in any time, is tough.”

— Jodi Taylor

25. “To look away when something terrible is happening does not mean that the terrible thing ceases to happen. Someone.”

— Jodi Taylor

26. “I was climbing into bed one night, accompanied by all the usual paraphernalia – laptop, Kindle, box of tissues for my early morning nose – my nose will kill me one day – notebook and a couple of pens – because they all run out together – and a Terry Pratchett novel. The great man is probably most alarmed to find that death has not released him from the burden of having me take him to bed every night.”

— Jodi Taylor

27. “Ah well,’ he said, jovially. ‘As Joan of Arc probably said: “Build a girl a fire and she’s warm for a few minutes. Set a girl on fire and she’s warm for the rest of her life.”

— Jodi Taylor

28. “She picked up a slice of Victoria Sponge, broke it into large pieces and tossed them in their direction. I hadn’t had any yet, and could not suppress a small whimper. ‘It’s for science, Director,’ she said. ‘We must all make sacrifices.”

— Jodi Taylor

29. “Show me a cup of tea and I’ll show you at least two historians attached to it.”

— Jodi Taylor

30. “I made you,’ I said darkly. ‘I can break you.’ He snorted. And.”

— Jodi Taylor

31. “He was calm and soothing and had a reasonable explanation for everything. No woman should have to put up with that.”

— Jodi Taylor

32. “You’re really not fit to be allowed out on your own, are you?’ ‘So, what’s the damage?’ ‘How do you want it? From head to toe? Alphabetically? Chronologically?’ ‘Surprise me.’ ‘Well, your feet are holding up well.’ ‘Glad to hear it. I’ll be on my way then.”

— Jodi Taylor

33. “Something writhed inside me and for a moment I was back in those long dark days when my world was so small I couldn’t even stand up in it.”

— Jodi Taylor

34. “Teenagers are inarticulate, acne-ridden lumps of inert matter. The only way you can ever induce movement is by trying to separate one from its mobile phone. And if you can do that then the only way you can stop it attacking is with rhinoceros tranquiliser.”

— Jodi Taylor

35. “A bit over-optimistic there, I thought. I once got lost on a staircase.”

— Jodi Taylor

36. “The only talents he possessed were delusions of adequacy.”

— Jodi Taylor

37. “This had once been a garden. Beautiful glazed pots stood against the walls but now were cracked, crumbling, and contained only dead bushes and weeds. A broken wooden bench had been overturned and lay forlornly on its side. Perhaps even gardens were considered sinful.”

— Jodi Taylor

38. “I spoke very quietly because the more quietly you speak, the more people listen.”

— Jodi Taylor

39. “Loss of appetite is one of the first symptoms. When your body hasn’t a clue what’s going on, it tends to shut down in self-defence.”

— Jodi Taylor

40. “The three of them must disappear. Start a new life in a strange, new, foreign world. America, maybe. Or Manchester.”

— Jodi Taylor

41. “The ground never opens up and swallows you when you need it to.”

— Jodi Taylor

42. “We wrote our reports and sent them off to Dr Bairstow, who presented himself punctually at 0930 every morning to stare at us. It was beyond his nature to smile and encourage, so we could only assume he was there to intimidate any lingering.”

— Jodi Taylor

43. “The Society for the Protection of Historical Buildings was the official body whose task it was to oversee repairs and maintenance to our beloved but battered listed building. We had them on speed-dial. They had us on their black list.”

— Jodi Taylor

44. “I could have been a bomb-disposal expert, or a volunteer for the Mars mission, or a firefighter, or something safe and sensible. But no, I had to be an historian.”

— Jodi Taylor

45. “Get out. Get out of our house. Both of you. It makes me sick just to have you here. You called me a nothing girl. Well, this nothing girl despises you. I’d rather be nothing and loved by Russell Checkland than anything else on earth. You would have ruined his life and he’s so much better than you. He’s kind and generous and passionate and everything you’re not. He will be a great painter one day. And – and he goes like a train.”

— Jodi Taylor

46. “Even a bucket can be a weapon if it’s wielded with malicious intent.”

— Jodi Taylor

47. “If it’s any reassurance, after what he’s drunk today, I don’t think he could even raise a smile, let alone anything else.”

— Jodi Taylor

48. “In an organisation that already contains you, Dr Maxwell, the acquisition of any further irritants would be superfluous.”

— Jodi Taylor

49. “In the unlikely event of anything going wrong, we will certainly never know anything about it.”

— Jodi Taylor

50. “If in doubt, make some tea.”

— Jodi Taylor