Top 90 Joe Teti Quotes (2025 Update)
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51. “Shirts don’t grow on trees.”

— Joe Teti

52. “Sandals are made out of rubber, and when lit on fire burn black.”

— Joe Teti

53. “This suntan lotion acts as an accelerator and an extender, meaning that this fire will burn brighter and longer.”

— Joe Teti

54. “It’s always good to give yourself the advantage.”

— Joe Teti

55. “I don’t know about you, but rattlesnake sounds pretty damn good right now.”

— Joe Teti

56. “The decided to go exploring, be Indiana Jones they don’t have a light they don’t have a map you’re a screwed with a capital S.”

— Joe Teti

57. “Everywhere you go, mother nature’s throwing some curve-ball at you.”

— Joe Teti

58. “This place has a one, two knockout punch.”

— Joe Teti

59. “If I gave this guy more time, there would be a swimming pool and rattan furniture.”

— Joe Teti

60. “This is looking tasty.”

— Joe Teti

61. “I think every minute you’re in a situation like this, your clock is ticking.”

— Joe Teti

62. “If you fall from here, if you’re not dead you’re gonna wish you were.”

— Joe Teti

63. “All this is, is a nine hundred dollar hammer.”

— Joe Teti

64. “The terrain is thinner, the vegetation is greener, that’s a good sign we’re getting close to the coast.”

— Joe Teti

65. “Everyone knows the rules of three’s, you can survive three weeks without food, but not in this environment.”

— Joe Teti

66. “We cannibalized this bike as much as we could’ve.”

— Joe Teti

67. “Most of my hunting experiences has been in tree stands. I’ve never called deer.”

— Joe Teti

68. “Where I come from, the attitude to have is to not quit.”

— Joe Teti

69. “I’m normally not at a loss of words but I am a little taken aback by what you’re wearing; it’s a little different.”

— Joe Teti

70. “One long step there and you’re gonna die.”

— Joe Teti

71. “Dude that was bad ass.”

— Joe Teti

72. “After 20 years in special operations trust me, I know my body.”

— Joe Teti

73. “The moon just crapped the bed.”

— Joe Teti

74. “I’m very confident that if I get close to one of these pigs, i could put the smack down on it.”

— Joe Teti

75. “My whole philosophy in survival is to take down brush as soon as you get in a situation.”

— Joe Teti

76. “His first instinct was to help me, not sit like a deer in headlights, I now know that Matt isn’t one to panic.”

— Joe Teti

77. “We can navigate by looking at ant mounds.”

— Joe Teti

78. “I have to take off my hat to Matt, he’s trying crazy hard to get this fire started.”

— Joe Teti

79. “Here’s the bottom line, we’re either going or not.”

— Joe Teti

80. “Survival protocol says follow water out, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

— Joe Teti

81. “This is the first time I’ve done something like this and I’m really hoping this will work.”

— Joe Teti

82. “I know this guy is a musician so I hope he can play us a tune that could get us the hell out of here.”

— Joe Teti

83. “Putting us in risk is just plain stupid.”

— Joe Teti

84. “That’s a huge part foul man; that’s just not cool.”

— Joe Teti

85. “Dude, that was a knuckle buster brother.”

— Joe Teti

86. “This is like being in the super bowl. It’s first down, you’re on the one yard line, You either make a touchdown or you’re hosed.”

— Joe Teti

87. “I ran across a rattlesnake once in New Mexico, you know what I did with it, chopped its head off and we ate it.”

— Joe Teti

88. “I’m in the woods with Dr. Doolittle.”

— Joe Teti

89. “What I envisioned to see was a group of guys drinking beer...”

— Joe Teti

90. “What you don’t want to do is dig around here like a groundhog on crack.”

— Joe Teti

91. “I club the thing over the head and that’s the end of it.”

— Joe Teti

92. “Looking good Matt, you look like a money.”

— Joe Teti

93. “Yet again, Matt pulled another rabbit out of his hat and got a fire for us.”

— Joe Teti

94. “This is a way you can learn about someone through very stressful situations. That is when a person is either gonna shine or falter.”

— Joe Teti

95. “So far he’s bringing his A-game.”

— Joe Teti

96. “It drops down to a place I ain’t going.”

— Joe Teti

97. “For us to get to those huts and no one’s home, it’s going to be a kick to the nuts.”

— Joe Teti