Top 25 Joel McHale Quotes (2024 Update)

Joel McHale Quote: “In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn’t use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears – she might lick your face off!”

1. “In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn’t use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears – she might lick your face off!”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.”

2. “I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I’m very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.”

3. “I’m very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.”

4. “You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.”

5. “Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “My intention with The Soup was to hopefully follow in the footsteps of past hosts, like Greg Kinnear. The pedigree of that show was really good and if it could just get me into some of those audition rooms I’ve always wanted to get into that I could not get into, then I would be very happy.”

6. “My intention with The Soup was to hopefully follow in the footsteps of past hosts, like Greg Kinnear. The pedigree of that show was really good and if it could just get me into some of those audition rooms I’ve always wanted to get into that I could not get into, then I would be very happy.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Hours is an understatement. I honestly don’t know how the director and editor decide each week what actually makes it on the air. There’s of course director and cast commentary on each episode on the DVD. We had a blast recording that.”

7. “Hours is an understatement. I honestly don’t know how the director and editor decide each week what actually makes it on the air. There’s of course director and cast commentary on each episode on the DVD. We had a blast recording that.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.”

8. “I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Bill O’Reilly, Megyn Kelly, and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.”

9. “Bill O’Reilly, Megyn Kelly, and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, “Can you believe these kids today?” They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they’re doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.”

10. “Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, “Can you believe these kids today?” They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they’re doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.”

11. “Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.”

12. “If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.”

13. “People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “It’s an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along.”

14. “It’s an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I knew I wanted to be an actor. I just kept saying, “Until somebody tells me to stop, until I have to go get a real job, and until I’m practically homeless, I’m not gonna get one.””

15. “I knew I wanted to be an actor. I just kept saying, “Until somebody tells me to stop, until I have to go get a real job, and until I’m practically homeless, I’m not gonna get one.””

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after school. Isn’t that great?”

16. “I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after school. Isn’t that great?”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I don’t think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.”

17. “I don’t think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That’s a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.”

18. “My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That’s a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree.”

19. “I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “It’s pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year’s.”

20. “It’s pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year’s.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you’re playing.”

21. “I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you’re playing.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “It’s important to have the right agent – people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.”

22. “It’s important to have the right agent – people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.”

23. “I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That’s the big secret.”

24. “Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That’s the big secret.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you’re working, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner.”

25. “One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you’re working, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “I love performing, and it allows me to be very discerning about what I choose next, thank god.”

26. “I love performing, and it allows me to be very discerning about what I choose next, thank god.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “When I initially met with Robert I was just so excited to meet the guy. I was able to go to Troublemaker Studios in Austin, Texas and just hanging out was fantastic. Working on this took up all of my weekends while I was shooting Community. It was crazy, but again, no regrets.”

27. “When I initially met with Robert I was just so excited to meet the guy. I was able to go to Troublemaker Studios in Austin, Texas and just hanging out was fantastic. Working on this took up all of my weekends while I was shooting Community. It was crazy, but again, no regrets.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “Once you’ve been booked, people in Hollywood say, ‘Oh he must be good.’ All the while you’re the same actor.”

28. “Once you’ve been booked, people in Hollywood say, ‘Oh he must be good.’ All the while you’re the same actor.”

— Joel McHale

Joel McHale Quote: “It really is great. Especially having people who we make fun every week come on and poke fun at themselves is really cool, I love that. No reality star has been mad at me yet for making fun of them. I’m sure that one day soon though, someone is going to take a swing at me.”

29. “It really is great. Especially having people who we make fun every week come on and poke fun at themselves is really cool, I love that. No reality star has been mad at me yet for making fun of them. I’m sure that one day soon though, someone is going to take a swing at me.”

— Joel McHale

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