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Top 60 John M. Gottman Quotes (2025 Update)
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John M. Gottman Quote: “The point is that neuroses don’t have to ruin a marriage. If you can accommodate each other’s “crazy” side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive.”

51. “The point is that neuroses don’t have to ruin a marriage. If you can accommodate each other’s “crazy” side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “When parents offer their children empathy and help them to cope with negative feelings like anger, sadness, and fear, parents build bridges of loyalty and affection.”

52. “When parents offer their children empathy and help them to cope with negative feelings like anger, sadness, and fear, parents build bridges of loyalty and affection.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “Our partners don’t always have to think like we think. That’s what makes life interesting – it would be boring to be married to yourself. In fact, that’s called being single.”

53. “Our partners don’t always have to think like we think. That’s what makes life interesting – it would be boring to be married to yourself. In fact, that’s called being single.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “When a child has that strong emotional connection with a parent, the parent’s upset, disappointment, or anger creates enough pain in the child to become a disciplinary event in itself.”

54. “When a child has that strong emotional connection with a parent, the parent’s upset, disappointment, or anger creates enough pain in the child to become a disciplinary event in itself.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “Haim Ginott,10 who said that all emotions and all wishes are acceptable, but that not all behavior may be acceptable.”

55. “Haim Ginott,10 who said that all emotions and all wishes are acceptable, but that not all behavior may be acceptable.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “I’ve found 94 percent of the time that couples who put a positive spin on their marriage’s history are likely to have a happy future as well. When happy memories are distorted, it’s a sign that the marriage needs help.”

56. “I’ve found 94 percent of the time that couples who put a positive spin on their marriage’s history are likely to have a happy future as well. When happy memories are distorted, it’s a sign that the marriage needs help.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “Our gridlocked conflicts contain the potential for great intimacy between us. But we have to feel safe enough to pull our dreams out of the closet. When we wear them, our partner may glimpse how beautiful we are – fragile but shimmering. Then, with understanding, our partners may join us in being dream catchers, rather than dream shredders.”

57. “Our gridlocked conflicts contain the potential for great intimacy between us. But we have to feel safe enough to pull our dreams out of the closet. When we wear them, our partner may glimpse how beautiful we are – fragile but shimmering. Then, with understanding, our partners may join us in being dream catchers, rather than dream shredders.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “Active listening asks couples to perform Olympic-level emotional gymnastics even if their relationship can barely walk.”

58. “Active listening asks couples to perform Olympic-level emotional gymnastics even if their relationship can barely walk.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “The problem is that therapy that focuses solely on active listening and conflict resolution doesn’t work. A Munich-based marital therapy study conducted by Kurt Hahlweg and associates found that even after employing active-listening techniques the typical couple was still distressed. Those few couples who did benefit relapsed within a year.”

59. “The problem is that therapy that focuses solely on active listening and conflict resolution doesn’t work. A Munich-based marital therapy study conducted by Kurt Hahlweg and associates found that even after employing active-listening techniques the typical couple was still distressed. Those few couples who did benefit relapsed within a year.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “I call the parents who get involved with their children’s feelings “Emotion Coaches.” Much like athletic coaches, they teach their children strategies to deal with life’s ups and downs. They don’t object to their children’s displays of anger, sadness, or fear. Nor do they ignore them. Instead, they accept negative emotions as a fact of life and.”

60. “I call the parents who get involved with their children’s feelings “Emotion Coaches.” Much like athletic coaches, they teach their children strategies to deal with life’s ups and downs. They don’t object to their children’s displays of anger, sadness, or fear. Nor do they ignore them. Instead, they accept negative emotions as a fact of life and.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “Although happily married couples may feel driven to distraction at times by their partner’s personality flaws, they still feel that the person they married is worthy of honor and respect.”

61. “Although happily married couples may feel driven to distraction at times by their partner’s personality flaws, they still feel that the person they married is worthy of honor and respect.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “In the Broadway play In Defense of the Cave Man, a man says that when he was first married, he saw his wife cleaning the bathroom and asked her, “Are we moving?” In his bachelor days that was the only time he and his roommates bothered to clean the bathroom.”

62. “In the Broadway play In Defense of the Cave Man, a man says that when he was first married, he saw his wife cleaning the bathroom and asked her, “Are we moving?” In his bachelor days that was the only time he and his roommates bothered to clean the bathroom.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “For the rest of the semester, before every class, we talked for twenty minutes,” said Leah. “Just talked. About everything. He never asked me out, he never asked for my number, he just sat on those steps and asked about my life.”

63. “For the rest of the semester, before every class, we talked for twenty minutes,” said Leah. “Just talked. About everything. He never asked me out, he never asked for my number, he just sat on those steps and asked about my life.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “We’re not suggesting you be overly contrived about this and don’t want you to be flipping your hair back if she’s flipping hers. Just pay attention to her words and her body language, and you’ll start getting the social bonding going.”

64. “We’re not suggesting you be overly contrived about this and don’t want you to be flipping your hair back if she’s flipping hers. Just pay attention to her words and her body language, and you’ll start getting the social bonding going.”

— John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Quote: “Which scientific puzzle confounds the genius of Hawking? “Women,” he said. “They are a complete mystery.”

65. “Which scientific puzzle confounds the genius of Hawking? “Women,” he said. “They are a complete mystery.”

— John M. Gottman

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