Top 10 John Swartzwelder Quotes (2024 Update)

John Swartzwelder Quote: “As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.”

1. “As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it’s your duty as an American to do it.”

2. “If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it’s your duty as an American to do it.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.”

3. “I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “They can kill the Kennedys. Why can’t they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?”

4. “They can kill the Kennedys. Why can’t they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “I’m 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.”

5. “I’m 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “It’s tough to make a living in my racket. Most people who need detecting done just go to the cops. They’re free. I have to charge money for essentially the same service. Another thing that makes it tough is that I’m not the best detective in town. In fact in this building you have to pass the offices of three detectives who are better than me to get to my place. So I guess I lose some business that way.”

6. “It’s tough to make a living in my racket. Most people who need detecting done just go to the cops. They’re free. I have to charge money for essentially the same service. Another thing that makes it tough is that I’m not the best detective in town. In fact in this building you have to pass the offices of three detectives who are better than me to get to my place. So I guess I lose some business that way.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “Kids have too much money these days, if you ask me.”

7. “Kids have too much money these days, if you ask me.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “I’ve been told by people that I’m shaped kind of like a garbage can, but I don’t know if that’s the truth, or just some kind of an insult.”

8. “I’ve been told by people that I’m shaped kind of like a garbage can, but I don’t know if that’s the truth, or just some kind of an insult.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.”

9. “I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “Now, I’m not the most observant of men, which is unfortunate, because I’m a private eye.”

10. “Now, I’m not the most observant of men, which is unfortunate, because I’m a private eye.”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “This is a covert operation, people!” he shouted over his bullhorn. “Covert!”

11. “This is a covert operation, people!” he shouted over his bullhorn. “Covert!”

— John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder Quote: “It has always amazed me how angry people can get at my stupidity. How do they think I feel? They only have to be around me a couple of hours at a time. I’ve got me all day.”

12. “It has always amazed me how angry people can get at my stupidity. How do they think I feel? They only have to be around me a couple of hours at a time. I’ve got me all day.”

— John Swartzwelder

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Motivational Quotes

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Swami Vivekananda Quotes

LIFE SPIRITUALITY

INSPIRATIONAL SUCCESS MOTIVATIONAL

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