Top 30 John Townsend Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Life is simply better when we are with others, and worse when we are isolated. God designed us to be connected, and life breaks down when we are not.”

— John Townsend

2. “Be the kind of person you want to be attracted to. You will find that you are less and less drawn to people with difficult character issues and more desirous to find people who are full of grace, safety, acceptance, and a hunger to grow.”

— John Townsend

3. “Though your experience may indicate that God has forgotten you or has left you alone, He is on your side. He is the God of grace, and He is actively working on your behalf.”

— John Townsend

4. “The best people in the world aren’t those who never fail – but those who fail and learn something from it. I hope that your goal in life isn’t to slide safely into death not having screwed up much.”

— John Townsend

5. “I’m not looking for starters, I’m looking for finishers.”

— John Townsend

6. “Leading from your inner world ultimately produces better results in your leadership.”

— John Townsend

7. “And healthy people love honesty. Normalizing truthfulness in your relationships is simply inserting your own realities into the conversation, the meeting, or the event.”

— John Townsend

8. “And people who have trust issues typically prefer to find some way to disqualify a new relationship rather than to risk damage by making a poor judgment call. Better safe than sorry.”

— John Townsend

9. “Teens are impulsive, self-centered, and irrational. They have outbursts of anger and disrespect, then in a few minutes, they swing back to love and compliance.”

— John Townsend

10. “We can learn to trust again, no matter what has happened, if we take the right path, step by step.”

— John Townsend

11. “Love cannot exist without freedom.”

— John Townsend

12. “Rewards and praise are most effective when they focus on an achievement that took time and energy.”

— John Townsend

13. “In its essence, entitlement goes deeper than a person thinking, It’s okay if I want to be lazy because someone else will bear my burdens, or I’m so special that the rules don’t apply to me. In fact, entitlement goes so deep that it rejects the very foundations on which God constructed the universe. At its heart, entitlement is a rejection of reality itself.”

— John Townsend

14. “Defensive grandiosity is simply a shell we construct to keep negative feelings at bay. When the entitled person begins the process of growth, the shell begins to dissolve, and healthy feelings and behavior begin to form.”

— John Townsend

15. “Healthy intimate relationships involve a dedication of one’s self to the betterment of the other. You need someone who will count the cost of having an attachment to you and who is willing to then make a real commitment.”

— John Townsend

16. “Entitlement is the belief that I am exempt from responsibility and I am owed special treatment.”

— John Townsend

17. “So the best answer is to keep developing your own boundaries, your ability to say yes and no in love, and to be truthful. Then you will be confident in your abilities to take care of yourself in relationships, and you will enjoy getting to know those people you.”

— John Townsend

18. “Always remember that while grace and truth come together, grace comes before truth.”

— John Townsend

19. “Entitlement is: The man who thinks he is above all the rules. The woman who feels mistreated and needs others to make it up to her.”

— John Townsend

20. “Praise should be reserved for those times when someone stretches himself beyond the norm, puts extra effort or time into a task, or exceeds expectations. It’s not about doing the minimum, the expected.”

— John Townsend

21. “The habit of doing what is best, rather than what is comfortable, to achieve a worthwhile outcome.”

— John Townsend

22. “The more clear and honest you are with others about who you really are, the more ready you will be to move beyond boundaries and into the intimate connections you seek.”

— John Townsend

23. “Being a parent of a teen can cure a person of narcissism. When your child was born, you were the center of her world. You were special to her. Now that she is an adolescent, you have become less central. No matter what you do, she continues to invest in the outside world more than she does in the home.”

— John Townsend

24. “Love is not enough. Nor are attentiveness, romantic feelings, a charming personality, great competencies and skills, or promises to change. You need substance underneath the topping. Don’t sell yourself short. Character always wins over time.”

— John Townsend

25. “Love can’t rule when shame is in charge.”

— John Townsend

26. “Humility is simply accepting the reality of who God is and who you are.”

— John Townsend

27. “Understand that her desire to get away from you is normal. Accept that she is getting tired of your control, rules, and restrictions. Provide her with some positive and happy experiences at home. Work with her on establishing a reasonably happy and functional environment at home. Compromise when you can, love always, and be strict when you need to.”

— John Townsend

28. “You have to learn the difference between a need, which should be met, and an entitled desire, which should be starved.”

— John Townsend

29. “The Hard Way is the entitlement cure. It is a path of behaviors and attitudes that undo the negative effects of entitlement, whether in ourselves or in others.”

— John Townsend

30. “If you can’t say no to people’s needs for your time and energy, own that they aren’t the bad guy for asking, and that you need to learn to set a limit and say a kind but firm no.”

— John Townsend

31. “Meeting a need leads to life, and feeding an entitlement leads to destruction.”

— John Townsend

32. “I had told our kids in a thousand ways, “As you go through life with us, you will need a lot of things. You’ll get what you need – things like love, food, shelter, safety, values, structure, faith, opportunity, and an education. We are committed to seeing that you get what you need. But we also want you to know that you really don’t deserve anything. You can’t demand a toy, a phone, a laptop, or a car. That attitude won’t work with us. Need, yes; deserve, not so much.” The.”

— John Townsend

33. “Sad to say, there are people whose insides are so dark that they are adroit at manipulating others’ impressions of them.”

— John Townsend

34. “Be a supporter of your kid’s extra-family world, as long as that world is one that is reasonably safe and supports your own values and beliefs.”

— John Townsend