Top 100 Johnny Carson Quotes (2026 Update) [Page 3]

101. “I wouldn’t have the slightest interest in running for public office. I’d rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.”

— Johnny Carson

102. “I play my life straight – the way I see it. I’m grateful to audiences for watching me and for enjoying what I do – but I’m not one of those who believe that a successful entertainer is made by the public, as is so often said.”

— Johnny Carson

103. “Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he’ll sing it to me.”

— Johnny Carson

104. “I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn’t take two hours.”

— Johnny Carson

105. “We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that’s gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.”

— Johnny Carson

106. “The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.”

— Johnny Carson

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