Top 60 Johnny Vegas Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “There’s a domino effect with certain things you say.”

— Johnny Vegas

2. “I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It’s my own paranoia.”

— Johnny Vegas

3. “I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.”

— Johnny Vegas

4. “Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go ‘Oh My God, that’s the reason that happened.’ Writing about it, you’re forced to really examine things.”

— Johnny Vegas

5. “I’ve always been looking for other people’s approval.”

— Johnny Vegas

6. “There’s lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he’s not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.”

— Johnny Vegas

7. “The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.”

— Johnny Vegas

8. “It can be tough as a jobbing actor.”

— Johnny Vegas

9. “Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine.”

— Johnny Vegas

10. “I was loved as a kid; I was raised with more love and emotional support than most folks could wish for my memories aged nought to ten are all bound up together in a mesh of innocence and fun.”

— Johnny Vegas

11. “It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.”

— Johnny Vegas

12. “I struggle as a writer, and I’m convinced that if I was at school now, I’d be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I’m drifting.”

— Johnny Vegas

13. “I think I’m realising more and more that I’ve got a job to do and I can’t be doing the big nights out and working to my full potential the next day. I feel much better for it.”

— Johnny Vegas

14. “When I wasn’t as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.”

— Johnny Vegas

15. “Health-wise, I couldn’t have said what my life expectancy would’ve been if I’d just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up.”

— Johnny Vegas

16. “I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I’m grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old’s birthday party, you couldn’t pay me enough.”

— Johnny Vegas

17. “I’ve spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It’s just not my home.”

— Johnny Vegas

18. “My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don’t ask what the part is, but what century it’s in.”

— Johnny Vegas

19. “I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers!”

— Johnny Vegas

20. “I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.”

— Johnny Vegas

21. “We all have days where we can’t pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.”

— Johnny Vegas

22. “My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn’t come home.”

— Johnny Vegas

23. “My agent once said, ‘You’re not very driven.’ And it’s true. I’m not the type to ring up and go, ‘Get me this part!’”

— Johnny Vegas

24. “Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends.”

— Johnny Vegas

25. “You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow ’cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.”

— Johnny Vegas

26. “I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.”

— Johnny Vegas

27. “They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they’re not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.”

— Johnny Vegas

28. “I’m loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don’t like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it’s invented anyway.”

— Johnny Vegas

29. “You don’t want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am.”

— Johnny Vegas

30. “For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.”

— Johnny Vegas

31. “I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole – queuing up, security and lost luggage.”

— Johnny Vegas

32. “There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I’m not sure.”

— Johnny Vegas

33. “I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.”

— Johnny Vegas

34. “Class still matters in Britain today.”

— Johnny Vegas

35. “I use very few muscles at the best of times.”

— Johnny Vegas

36. “I avoid any kind of organised trips as that’s one of my bugbears.”

— Johnny Vegas

37. “Had I become a priest, the sermons would’ve been electric!”

— Johnny Vegas

38. “I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though.”

— Johnny Vegas

39. “There have been times I’ve finished a big job and thought, ‘Great, a couple of weeks off.’ But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you’re staring at the phone willing it to ring.”

— Johnny Vegas

40. “Oh, I’m terrible at travel.”

— Johnny Vegas

41. “I used to attract a lot of feeders. I’d be quite happy to be locked in someone’s flat and fed liquidised burgers.”

— Johnny Vegas

42. “I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don’t seem to be particularly keen on them.”

— Johnny Vegas

43. “If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I’d probably spend a lot of money on it.”

— Johnny Vegas

44. “My work’s never been accepted by my family, but it’s something I’ll always carry on with.”

— Johnny Vegas

45. “I’ve got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.”

— Johnny Vegas

46. “Being ‘Johnny’ was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I’d created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that.”

— Johnny Vegas

47. “Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.”

— Johnny Vegas

48. “I’ve got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.”

— Johnny Vegas

49. “Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.”

— Johnny Vegas

50. “I’m getting positive feedback for my acting so we’ll see if any other interesting parts come up.”

— Johnny Vegas