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Top 60 Jonathan Dunne Quotes (2026 Update)
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Jonathan Dunne Quote: “Humour is my best defence, so humour me.”

51. “Humour is my best defence, so humour me.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “Yes, Cabbage: prison diplomacy. It’s called offering the newcomer a very warm welcome. You can tell Mares that I made lots of friends at two in the morning on the first night and continued making friends in the back of the laundry room and if I didn’t make friends there they would shove me into an industrial tumble-dryer and spin me around a few times until I was dizzy enough to make lots of friends at the same time.”

52. “Yes, Cabbage: prison diplomacy. It’s called offering the newcomer a very warm welcome. You can tell Mares that I made lots of friends at two in the morning on the first night and continued making friends in the back of the laundry room and if I didn’t make friends there they would shove me into an industrial tumble-dryer and spin me around a few times until I was dizzy enough to make lots of friends at the same time.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “I used to love the funfair, but I grew old somewhere along the way. That’s the scariest ride of all.”

53. “I used to love the funfair, but I grew old somewhere along the way. That’s the scariest ride of all.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “Okay, that’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m going to trade in my Biblical Studies PhD for a hot dog!”

54. “Okay, that’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m going to trade in my Biblical Studies PhD for a hot dog!”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “Your body isn’t really yours, Jackie boy. Your body is mine and I’m claiming squatter’s rights.”

55. “Your body isn’t really yours, Jackie boy. Your body is mine and I’m claiming squatter’s rights.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “That hideous face turns to us, and it is now, in the ambient light, that I begin to see the true nature of this nightmare roosting in my home.”

56. “That hideous face turns to us, and it is now, in the ambient light, that I begin to see the true nature of this nightmare roosting in my home.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “Martin Luther King had a dream too,’ snaps Michael, ’and look where that got him!”

57. “Martin Luther King had a dream too,’ snaps Michael, ’and look where that got him!”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “The giant mouldy screen on Molly’s bedroom ceiling began to twirl and swirl in on itself. A black vortex emitting an overpowering stench of decay and mould began to drip from the ceiling like a hellish stalactite. Molly’s pitiful sobs cut to a sudden gagging halt in her throat as her child – her thing – oozed from the ceiling, descending down through the whirlwind of blight, sending Molly Greene into heaving hyperventilation.”

58. “The giant mouldy screen on Molly’s bedroom ceiling began to twirl and swirl in on itself. A black vortex emitting an overpowering stench of decay and mould began to drip from the ceiling like a hellish stalactite. Molly’s pitiful sobs cut to a sudden gagging halt in her throat as her child – her thing – oozed from the ceiling, descending down through the whirlwind of blight, sending Molly Greene into heaving hyperventilation.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “Watching copulating dung-beetles is exciting if you drink enough Red Bull, Jack.”

59. “Watching copulating dung-beetles is exciting if you drink enough Red Bull, Jack.”

— Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Quote: “They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. If that’s the case, this thing is soulless.”

60. “They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. If that’s the case, this thing is soulless.”

— Jonathan Dunne

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