Top 50 Jonathan Dunne Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “In the end, all we have is memories.”

— Jonathan Dunne

2. “Time is a fickle friend; always and never on your side.”

— Jonathan Dunne

3. “People aren’t scared of being alone in the dark, boy. They’re scared of not being alone in the dark.”

— Jonathan Dunne

4. “A house doesn’t always make a home...”

— Jonathan Dunne

5. “I can sing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious but that doesn’t make me Mary Poppins!”

— Jonathan Dunne

6. “Sometimes, only death can bring true healing.”

— Jonathan Dunne

7. “But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they’re not so funny anymore.”

— Jonathan Dunne

8. “I don’t see hair when I see your mohawk. I see attitude.”

— Jonathan Dunne

9. “In a way, Old Man Cronin, the cemetery caretaker, had become the dead’s spokesman – someone had to stick up for them.”

— Jonathan Dunne

10. “If mysterious means a bunch of freaks being brought together by a freak car-accident, then, yes, God does vork in mysterious vays’ declared the eldest Russian Doll.”

— Jonathan Dunne

11. “I am the manacle chained to Man’s ankles. Only when he sees the light will he be set free of my shackles, and I, the manacle, be set free of my shackles: Man.”

— Jonathan Dunne

12. “Sarah is a mirage after all; an oasis in this arid, amnesiac, desert mindscape. I fear if I get too close she too will turn to dust.”

— Jonathan Dunne

13. “Even if we don’t have a clock, we’re all on the clock – from clocking in and out at work to clocking in and out of this world.”

— Jonathan Dunne

14. “The mind of the demented was a dangerous place to play and the psychologist never wanted to stay too long for fear of not finding her way back.”

— Jonathan Dunne

15. “Revenge is a dish best served cold but Mama prefers to serve it with hot gravy, potatoes, and roast turkey.”

— Jonathan Dunne

16. “In the beginning, we are all strangers.”

— Jonathan Dunne

17. “Gonzo, the enlightened hippy-biker island god, was a hermit in every sense of the word; a hermit crab and this island was his shell.”

— Jonathan Dunne

18. “Woman, allow a little magic back into your life. Remember the curiosity that glowed inside of you as a little girl? Where is that gone, sweet ole’ thing?”

— Jonathan Dunne

19. “Big Tom Daly didn’t regard himself as squeamish, but in that infinitesimal moment, Big Tom did indeed scream as an eight-year-old boy might. Never had he felt more alive as he landed on that soft-limbed bed of death. He let out a helpless rollicking wail before rolling off his uncomfortably comfortable rigour Mortis mattress with prickling fear and repulsion.”

— Jonathan Dunne

20. “And that’s the best thing about this crazy journey: I am forgetting that I’m an old man instead of the Alzheimer’s reminding me by forgetting.”

— Jonathan Dunne

21. “Because horror has taught me how to see true happiness in life.”

— Jonathan Dunne

22. “Sacrifices can backfire, Mr Ryan.”

— Jonathan Dunne

23. “Girls, I think it’s time you were formally introduced to our squatter – your soul brother.”

— Jonathan Dunne

24. “Jesus growls, ‘Man is his own worst enemy! Nothing but a cannibal eating his own head; a volatile, self-obsessed hybrid, that never should’ve been allowed to evolve. Let them swallow each other up!”

— Jonathan Dunne

25. “I’m just one more PhD, looking up at the stars, asking why are we here, while the down-and-outs under the bridge are asking the same question.”

— Jonathan Dunne

26. “I try to dig deep into my memory vault but my memory fault is all I find.”

— Jonathan Dunne

27. “My old man always told me to retrace my steps, but what’s the point if I can’t remember where my feet are, let alone my footsteps...”

— Jonathan Dunne

28. “Humanity must be cut to the ground and allowed to flourish once again.”

— Jonathan Dunne

29. “The Russian Dolls would sue a snowman for sexual harassment if they thought the sun would stay away.”

— Jonathan Dunne

30. “I haunt the haunted.”

— Jonathan Dunne

31. “Why can’t people just be happy and live?”

— Jonathan Dunne

32. “The Halifaxes weren’t a superstitious couple – they were the kind of couple that caused superstition.”

— Jonathan Dunne

33. “My old man always told me never do anything during the day that will keep you awake at night.”

— Jonathan Dunne

34. “So how do you know she was a mermaid if you didn’t see her bottom half?”

— Jonathan Dunne

35. “Earth is such a sweet ’n sour place, thought Gonzo, puffing on his seaweed roll-up, and he knew that if aliens did exist, then they’d probably only stop to avail of this planet’s toilet facilities on the intergalactic highway.”

— Jonathan Dunne

36. “It’s a freak-of-nature reserve.”

— Jonathan Dunne

37. “Okay, that’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m going to trade in my Biblical Studies PhD for a hot dog!”

— Jonathan Dunne

38. “I don’t believe he was made in China, but I do believe he is disposable.”

— Jonathan Dunne

39. “Your body isn’t really yours, Jackie boy. Your body is mine and I’m claiming squatter’s rights.”

— Jonathan Dunne

40. “Jesus throws his eyes skywards and shakes his head in dismay. ‘No, no, no, praying is for the lazy and weak-of-mind. Don’t pray to me because I won’t listen. Meditation is where you’ll find answers within.”

— Jonathan Dunne

41. “The giant mouldy screen on Molly’s bedroom ceiling began to twirl and swirl in on itself. A black vortex emitting an overpowering stench of decay and mould began to drip from the ceiling like a hellish stalactite. Molly’s pitiful sobs cut to a sudden gagging halt in her throat as her child – her thing – oozed from the ceiling, descending down through the whirlwind of blight, sending Molly Greene into heaving hyperventilation.”

— Jonathan Dunne

42. “The human being is not being human.”

— Jonathan Dunne

43. “Yes, Cabbage: prison diplomacy. It’s called offering the newcomer a very warm welcome. You can tell Mares that I made lots of friends at two in the morning on the first night and continued making friends in the back of the laundry room and if I didn’t make friends there they would shove me into an industrial tumble-dryer and spin me around a few times until I was dizzy enough to make lots of friends at the same time.”

— Jonathan Dunne

44. “The sea spits back what doesn’t belong to her.”

— Jonathan Dunne

45. “I used to love the funfair, but I grew old somewhere along the way. That’s the scariest ride of all.”

— Jonathan Dunne

46. “Martin Luther King had a dream too,’ snaps Michael, ’and look where that got him!”

— Jonathan Dunne

47. “My wife’s contractions, labour, and birth was the most intense biology class of my life; it certainly topped Glugger’s biology classes where we did nothing but burn litmus paper. My wife’s waters just broke! Who cares if it’s alkaline or acidic!”

— Jonathan Dunne

48. “Only the sweet innocence of childhood could make this music. Let’s appreciate their senseless yet timeless music while we have it.”

— Jonathan Dunne

49. “Today is the day that I learn women have an innate connection to Mother Nature; a sixth sense for the bitter-sweet cycle of life, whereas men are challenged with five.”

— Jonathan Dunne

50. “The 14-year-old could see her standing by the table she used as a stand, an old armchair propped up on it, and the face of concentration on his mother as she tucked her hair behind the ear that was now a part of this island, out there tonight, feeding the ants and other carnivorous creepy-crawlies. Little by little, they were all becoming part of the island, they were the flies and Crab was the spider, chomp, chomp!”

— Jonathan Dunne