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Top 9 Joseph Burgo Quotes (2025 Update)

Joseph Burgo Quote: “Shame is the crippling legacy of an impoverished childhood, one of the most powerful and least understood emotions that drive us to rely excessively on our defense mechanisms.”

1. “Shame is the crippling legacy of an impoverished childhood, one of the most powerful and least understood emotions that drive us to rely excessively on our defense mechanisms.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “Because their shame is so much deeper and more agonizing, Extreme Narcissists will stop at nothing to avoid feeling it. In fact, almost everything they say and do is intended to avoid the experience of shame. The narcissistic defenses they mobilize against shame are so extreme and pervasive that they color everything about the person’s personality, relationships, and behavior, creating a kind of shell or armor against the threat of shame.”

2. “Because their shame is so much deeper and more agonizing, Extreme Narcissists will stop at nothing to avoid feeling it. In fact, almost everything they say and do is intended to avoid the experience of shame. The narcissistic defenses they mobilize against shame are so extreme and pervasive that they color everything about the person’s personality, relationships, and behavior, creating a kind of shell or armor against the threat of shame.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “People with parents who consistently let them down emotionally and who failed to provide what was needed rarely feel safe in their adult relationships.”

3. “People with parents who consistently let them down emotionally and who failed to provide what was needed rarely feel safe in their adult relationships.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “The ability to weather one’s emotional storms, to get through one’s own experience and to survive, is the foundation of what we will later call self-esteem or self-confidence.”

4. “The ability to weather one’s emotional storms, to get through one’s own experience and to survive, is the foundation of what we will later call self-esteem or self-confidence.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “His depressed and self-absorbed mother had no room for her baby, and almost no capacity to love or nurture him; as a result, he grew up with little sense of self, no feeling of his worth and value as a person.”

5. “His depressed and self-absorbed mother had no room for her baby, and almost no capacity to love or nurture him; as a result, he grew up with little sense of self, no feeling of his worth and value as a person.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “Like all defense mechanisms, control may help us to manage unbearable emotions, but when it becomes too extreme or deeply entrenched, it creates an entirely new set of problems.”

6. “Like all defense mechanisms, control may help us to manage unbearable emotions, but when it becomes too extreme or deeply entrenched, it creates an entirely new set of problems.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “If you get enough of what you need, you will feel grateful; if people around you understand your feelings and help you bear with them, then in later life, you’ll be able to do the same for others.”

7. “If you get enough of what you need, you will feel grateful; if people around you understand your feelings and help you bear with them, then in later life, you’ll be able to do the same for others.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “1. Because of our lengthy, vulnerable childhood – where for so many years we rely upon our parents to meet our needs and protect us from the dangers of the world – the issue of dependency lies at the core of the human experience. If our needs aren’t met during infancy when we’re utterly vulnerable and helpless, if our parents make us feel unsafe in the world from early on, it will shape our ability to trust and depend upon other people for the rest of our lives. Consider.”

8. “1. Because of our lengthy, vulnerable childhood – where for so many years we rely upon our parents to meet our needs and protect us from the dangers of the world – the issue of dependency lies at the core of the human experience. If our needs aren’t met during infancy when we’re utterly vulnerable and helpless, if our parents make us feel unsafe in the world from early on, it will shape our ability to trust and depend upon other people for the rest of our lives. Consider.”

— Joseph Burgo

Joseph Burgo Quote: “Beginning at birth, babies have powerful feelings and fears about the world in which they live. A big part of their parents’ job is to help them manage those feelings – to calm and make them feel safe, for example, or to soothe them when they hurt. If we grow up with caretakers who let us down, who don’t provide the emotional support we need, we will always have a hard time managing our own feelings.”

9. “Beginning at birth, babies have powerful feelings and fears about the world in which they live. A big part of their parents’ job is to help them manage those feelings – to calm and make them feel safe, for example, or to soothe them when they hurt. If we grow up with caretakers who let us down, who don’t provide the emotional support we need, we will always have a hard time managing our own feelings.”

— Joseph Burgo

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