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Top 25 Josh Stern Quotes (2025 Update)

Josh Stern Quote: “If you take things the wrong way, be aware of which end is up.”
Josh Stern Quote: “I’d rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head.”
Josh Stern Quote: “I freely admit to enjoying the attentions Women lavish on me- Although it’s usually when they’re taking my order.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it.”
Josh Stern Quote: “I used to be into ‘forbidden fruit’, but I’ve moved on to‘verboten vegetables.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends.”
Josh Stern Quote: “If life is a bowl of cherries, what’s inside of it?”
Josh Stern Quote: “I’m playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that’s why I always lose.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Manners without sincerity, is called polite society.”
Josh Stern Quote: “I hate cutting my wrists while shaving.”
Josh Stern Quote: “The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Come Hell or High Water” usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub.”
Josh Stern Quote: “What I lack in brilliance, I more than make up for in glitter.”
Josh Stern Quote: “It’s not that I’m ahead of my time, it’s more that the world is running late.”
Josh Stern Quote: “You’re only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds.”
Josh Stern Quote: “If you don’t fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Do the thing you fear, and the death of your underwear is certain.”
Josh Stern Quote: “When people try to rain on your parade,... pee on theirs.”
Josh Stern Quote: “True ambition is trying to paint yourself out of a corner.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling.”
Josh Stern Quote: “I try not to take things lying down, especially rectal thermometers.”
Josh Stern Quote: “Death is life’s way of telling you, you’ve been recalled.”
Josh Stern Quote: “If you deny the existence of a higher being, you’ve never been to rehab.”
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