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Top 20 Joshua Cohen Quotes (2024 Update)

Joshua Cohen Quote: “The wife said, “That’s what it said in the pamphlet: follow in the footsteps of Jesus – but it didn’t say how many steps.”

1. “The wife said, “That’s what it said in the pamphlet: follow in the footsteps of Jesus – but it didn’t say how many steps.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “The best thing about search is you always find what you want. The worst thing about search is you never find what you do not want.”

2. “The best thing about search is you always find what you want. The worst thing about search is you never find what you do not want.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “NYers are cruel enough to neglect a bond due only to trackwork on the L.”

3. “NYers are cruel enough to neglect a bond due only to trackwork on the L.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “I have what’s called an addiction to Ativan, and Xanax. Which is preferable to admitting to an aversion to planes.”

4. “I have what’s called an addiction to Ativan, and Xanax. Which is preferable to admitting to an aversion to planes.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “The only thing worse than an Aussie or Kiwi intonation is its intermittent use. When it’s Auckland talking, or Melbourne, fine. But when a snatch of downunder drawl erupts from the mouth of a Euro, it’s like blood in your urine.”

5. “The only thing worse than an Aussie or Kiwi intonation is its intermittent use. When it’s Auckland talking, or Melbourne, fine. But when a snatch of downunder drawl erupts from the mouth of a Euro, it’s like blood in your urine.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “Above everyone, though, was the customer, the King of King’s who was also the adversary.”

6. “Above everyone, though, was the customer, the King of King’s who was also the adversary.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “By the highway, the Hudson – the library books straining at their delibags, corners poking. Straining my arms, throttling my hands, the numb rewards of literacy.”

7. “By the highway, the Hudson – the library books straining at their delibags, corners poking. Straining my arms, throttling my hands, the numb rewards of literacy.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “In the future we would have total storage, all of us would, our media libraries would dematerialize and just float above us, books would no longer sit on the shelves reminding us that we had not read them, music and TV and film formats would no longer clutter the den reminding us of all we had not yet listened to or watched. Also reducing domestic mess, the many devices on which we might ever decide to read or listen or watch would become integrated, merged, fewer.”

8. “In the future we would have total storage, all of us would, our media libraries would dematerialize and just float above us, books would no longer sit on the shelves reminding us that we had not read them, music and TV and film formats would no longer clutter the den reminding us of all we had not yet listened to or watched. Also reducing domestic mess, the many devices on which we might ever decide to read or listen or watch would become integrated, merged, fewer.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “All books have to be researched, but readable books have their research buried.”

9. “All books have to be researched, but readable books have their research buried.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “May through to June I spent my time deciding how to spend my time, which is the first, second, and third through nine thousand seven hundred and griftyfifth items on the agenda of every writer, or neurotic. I was getting ahead of myself, fretting whether the book would have to have notes or sources cited, fretting whether I’d be allowed to decide anything at all.”

10. “May through to June I spent my time deciding how to spend my time, which is the first, second, and third through nine thousand seven hundred and griftyfifth items on the agenda of every writer, or neurotic. I was getting ahead of myself, fretting whether the book would have to have notes or sources cited, fretting whether I’d be allowed to decide anything at all.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “As for yours truly, I’ve been sitting with my laptop atop a pillow on my lap to keep those wireless hotspot waveparticles from reaching my genitals and frying my sperm, searching up – with my employer’s technology – myself, and Rach.”

11. “As for yours truly, I’ve been sitting with my laptop atop a pillow on my lap to keep those wireless hotspot waveparticles from reaching my genitals and frying my sperm, searching up – with my employer’s technology – myself, and Rach.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “No one around me was doing anything, even making conversation. They were all just perfectly inert, laid out prone or supine as if submitting to autopsy or dissection. Only the dead or the lowest of species can bask, I’m convinced.”

12. “No one around me was doing anything, even making conversation. They were all just perfectly inert, laid out prone or supine as if submitting to autopsy or dissection. Only the dead or the lowest of species can bask, I’m convinced.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “Congress was just a gray repository that got its OS replaced with each election.”

13. “Congress was just a gray repository that got its OS replaced with each election.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “Women, because what are they worth? Men, because what are they worth? Music, because what is it worth? and, more importantly with music, what exactly is the it?”

14. “Women, because what are they worth? Men, because what are they worth? Music, because what is it worth? and, more importantly with music, what exactly is the it?”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “But death on the page is just a typo, I said: You can’t say for example, She is dead–“she” no longer is. You can’t say for example, She was dead–death itself, a condition coterminous with eternity, renders the past tense inaccurate.”

15. “But death on the page is just a typo, I said: You can’t say for example, She is dead–“she” no longer is. You can’t say for example, She was dead–death itself, a condition coterminous with eternity, renders the past tense inaccurate.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “How am I, a writer, supposed to feel about having lost you to a reader?”

16. “How am I, a writer, supposed to feel about having lost you to a reader?”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “The chips were the enablers, limited pellets of silicon that served an apparently unlimited range of functions, as like a single snackfood delivering the tastes of chocolate, vanilla, pork rind, popcorn, pretzel, and chip in every bitesized bite.”

17. “The chips were the enablers, limited pellets of silicon that served an apparently unlimited range of functions, as like a single snackfood delivering the tastes of chocolate, vanilla, pork rind, popcorn, pretzel, and chip in every bitesized bite.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “Lift up the hem of verbiage, peek below its frillies – what’s exposed? the hairy truth?”

18. “Lift up the hem of verbiage, peek below its frillies – what’s exposed? the hairy truth?”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “Death is the only monopoly. Nothing can compete.”

19. “Death is the only monopoly. Nothing can compete.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “All of Iowa must be campuses and crops.”

20. “All of Iowa must be campuses and crops.”

— Joshua Cohen

Joshua Cohen Quote: “Judy was cruel. She had that smart cruelty to her of someone who’d gotten what she wanted. And she’d gotten it the fairest way, through suffering.”

21. “Judy was cruel. She had that smart cruelty to her of someone who’d gotten what she wanted. And she’d gotten it the fairest way, through suffering.”

— Joshua Cohen

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