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Top 15 Julie Lythcott-Haims Quotes (2024 Update)

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Why did parenting change from preparing our kids for life to protecting them from life, which means they’re not prepared to live life on their own?”

1. “Why did parenting change from preparing our kids for life to protecting them from life, which means they’re not prepared to live life on their own?”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do but you suck it up and do it anyway, and that’s what teaches you humility, work ethic, responsibility, and follow-through.”

2. “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do but you suck it up and do it anyway, and that’s what teaches you humility, work ethic, responsibility, and follow-through.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “When children aren’t given the space to struggle through things on their own, they don’t learn to problem solve very well. They don’t learn to be confident in their own abilities, and it can affect their self-esteem. The other problem with never having to struggle is that you never experience failure and can develop an overwhelming fear of failure and of disappointing others. Both the low self-confidence and the fear of failure can lead to depression or anxiety,” Able said.”

3. “When children aren’t given the space to struggle through things on their own, they don’t learn to problem solve very well. They don’t learn to be confident in their own abilities, and it can affect their self-esteem. The other problem with never having to struggle is that you never experience failure and can develop an overwhelming fear of failure and of disappointing others. Both the low self-confidence and the fear of failure can lead to depression or anxiety,” Able said.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “I think I can, I think I can!” Another word for that mind-set is “self-efficacy,” a central concept within the field of human psychology developed in the 1970s by eminent psychologist Albert Bandura. Self-efficacy means having the belief in your abilities to complete a task, reach goals, and manage a situation.2 It means believing in your abilities – not in your parents’ abilities to help you do those things or to do them for you.”

4. “I think I can, I think I can!” Another word for that mind-set is “self-efficacy,” a central concept within the field of human psychology developed in the 1970s by eminent psychologist Albert Bandura. Self-efficacy means having the belief in your abilities to complete a task, reach goals, and manage a situation.2 It means believing in your abilities – not in your parents’ abilities to help you do those things or to do them for you.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Resilience is built from real hardship and cannot be bought or manufactured.”

5. “Resilience is built from real hardship and cannot be bought or manufactured.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Taking the long view, we need to teach our kids street smarts, like the importance of walking with a friend instead of alone, and how to discern bad strangers from the overwhelming majority of good ones. If we prevent our children from learning how to navigate the world beyond our front yard, it will only come back to haunt them later on when they feel frightened, bewildered, lost, or confused out on the streets.”

6. “Taking the long view, we need to teach our kids street smarts, like the importance of walking with a friend instead of alone, and how to discern bad strangers from the overwhelming majority of good ones. If we prevent our children from learning how to navigate the world beyond our front yard, it will only come back to haunt them later on when they feel frightened, bewildered, lost, or confused out on the streets.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Not only does overparenting hurt our children; it harms us, too. Parents today are scared, not to mention exhausted, anxious, and depressed.”

7. “Not only does overparenting hurt our children; it harms us, too. Parents today are scared, not to mention exhausted, anxious, and depressed.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “If you’re overfocused on your kid, you’re quite likely underfocusing on your own passion. Despite what you may think, your kid is not your passion. If you treat them as if they are, you’re placing them in the very untenable and unhealthy role of trying to bring fulfillment to your life. Support your kid’s interests, yes. Be proud – very proud – of them. But find your own passion and purpose. For your kid’s sake and your own, you must.”

8. “If you’re overfocused on your kid, you’re quite likely underfocusing on your own passion. Despite what you may think, your kid is not your passion. If you treat them as if they are, you’re placing them in the very untenable and unhealthy role of trying to bring fulfillment to your life. Support your kid’s interests, yes. Be proud – very proud – of them. But find your own passion and purpose. For your kid’s sake and your own, you must.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Happiness and self-confidence can be the by-products of other things, but they cannot really be goals unto themselves.”

9. “Happiness and self-confidence can be the by-products of other things, but they cannot really be goals unto themselves.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “I suspect that twenty years down the road they’ll be having midlife crises, feeling they were in a straitjacket. Failure to recognize that an education has to be seized rather than delivered to you is the harm that’s really done.”

10. “I suspect that twenty years down the road they’ll be having midlife crises, feeling they were in a straitjacket. Failure to recognize that an education has to be seized rather than delivered to you is the harm that’s really done.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “We’re depriving our kids of the chance to do the work of life for themselves.”

11. “We’re depriving our kids of the chance to do the work of life for themselves.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “What we do brag about is our kids’ perfectness even as simultaneously we evince so little actual faith in their ability to do the work of living life on their own, the way every prior generation of humans somehow has. Instead of a belief in them, we have great faith that our skills, plans, and dreams are the right tools for constructing their lives.”

12. “What we do brag about is our kids’ perfectness even as simultaneously we evince so little actual faith in their ability to do the work of living life on their own, the way every prior generation of humans somehow has. Instead of a belief in them, we have great faith that our skills, plans, and dreams are the right tools for constructing their lives.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Yes we dream of our selves, of what we will become,” Chi Ling told me, “but it’s the environment that tells us what is possible. I don’t think our dreams are limitless; they are bounded by the society we live in and its conception of what is respectable and good.”

13. “Yes we dream of our selves, of what we will become,” Chi Ling told me, “but it’s the environment that tells us what is possible. I don’t think our dreams are limitless; they are bounded by the society we live in and its conception of what is respectable and good.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “You must stop pleasing others because those other people literally have no idea who you ARE.”

14. “You must stop pleasing others because those other people literally have no idea who you ARE.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “There’s a popular, potent story right now that says success is a straight line from the right school to the right college to the right internship to the right grad school to your chosen profession.” “Raise your hand if this is the path that you took.” About 5 percent of the hands went up. “That’s right,” she said. “In any group of people only 1–10 percent have taken a straight trajectory. The much more common route is circuitous.”

15. “There’s a popular, potent story right now that says success is a straight line from the right school to the right college to the right internship to the right grad school to your chosen profession.” “Raise your hand if this is the path that you took.” About 5 percent of the hands went up. “That’s right,” she said. “In any group of people only 1–10 percent have taken a straight trajectory. The much more common route is circuitous.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Levine said that when we parent this way we deprive our kids of the opportunity to be creative, to problem solve, to develop coping skills, to build resilience, to figure out what makes them happy, to figure out who they are. In short, it deprives them of the chance to be, well, human. Although we overinvolve ourselves to protect our kids and it may in fact lead to short-term gains, our behavior actually delivers the rather soul-crushing news: “Kid, you can’t actually do any of this without me.”

16. “Levine said that when we parent this way we deprive our kids of the opportunity to be creative, to problem solve, to develop coping skills, to build resilience, to figure out what makes them happy, to figure out who they are. In short, it deprives them of the chance to be, well, human. Although we overinvolve ourselves to protect our kids and it may in fact lead to short-term gains, our behavior actually delivers the rather soul-crushing news: “Kid, you can’t actually do any of this without me.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Don’t let anyone tell you who you are – you have to have a bigger idea of who you are than how society sees you.”

17. “Don’t let anyone tell you who you are – you have to have a bigger idea of who you are than how society sees you.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “A sense of purpose is essential for achieving happiness and satisfaction in life.”

18. “A sense of purpose is essential for achieving happiness and satisfaction in life.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims Quote: “Perfectionism is not only the enemy of the good; it is the enemy of adulthood.”

19. “Perfectionism is not only the enemy of the good; it is the enemy of adulthood.”

— Julie Lythcott-Haims

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