Top 25 Julie Schumacher Quotes (2024 Update)

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Your desk should send to everyone who sees it the message: All is well; I am in control.”

1. “Your desk should send to everyone who sees it the message: All is well; I am in control.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Talking to a therapist, I thought, was like taking your clothes off and then taking your skin off, and then having the other person say, “Would you mind opening up your rib cage so that we can start?”

2. “Talking to a therapist, I thought, was like taking your clothes off and then taking your skin off, and then having the other person say, “Would you mind opening up your rib cage so that we can start?”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Sometimes when the year grinds to its end and the new term begins I feel I’m living the life of a fruit fly – the endless ephemeral cycle, each new semester a “fresh start” that leads to the same moribund conclusions.”

3. “Sometimes when the year grinds to its end and the new term begins I feel I’m living the life of a fruit fly – the endless ephemeral cycle, each new semester a “fresh start” that leads to the same moribund conclusions.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Thanks to Lawrence Jacobs, world’s most enthusiastic and supportive spouse, who read the first draft of this book and said, “I’m glad we have different last names.”

4. “Thanks to Lawrence Jacobs, world’s most enthusiastic and supportive spouse, who read the first draft of this book and said, “I’m glad we have different last names.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “In the meantime, I hope you will not consign her to a windowless environment populated entirely by unsocialized clones who long ago abandoned the reading and discussion of literature in favor of creating ever more restrictive and meaningless ways in which humans are intended to make themselves known to one another.”

5. “In the meantime, I hope you will not consign her to a windowless environment populated entirely by unsocialized clones who long ago abandoned the reading and discussion of literature in favor of creating ever more restrictive and meaningless ways in which humans are intended to make themselves known to one another.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “I haven’t published a novel in six years; instead, I fill my departmental hours casting words of praise into the bureaucratic abyss. On multiple occasions, serving on awards committees, I was actually required to write LORs to myself.”

6. “I haven’t published a novel in six years; instead, I fill my departmental hours casting words of praise into the bureaucratic abyss. On multiple occasions, serving on awards committees, I was actually required to write LORs to myself.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Suffice it to say that the LOR has usurped the place of my own work, now adorned with cobwebs and dust in a remote corner of my office.”

7. “Suffice it to say that the LOR has usurped the place of my own work, now adorned with cobwebs and dust in a remote corner of my office.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Depression is an illness, and no fault of the person who suffers from it.”

8. “Depression is an illness, and no fault of the person who suffers from it.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “One theory here: the deanery is annoyed with our requests for parity and, weary of waiting for us to retire, has decided to kill us. Let the academic year begin!”

9. “One theory here: the deanery is annoyed with our requests for parity and, weary of waiting for us to retire, has decided to kill us. Let the academic year begin!”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “A drowning person doesn’t rescue herself.”

10. “A drowning person doesn’t rescue herself.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “I wish him episodes of glorious, sun-washed tedium and a loss of innocence he will contemplate for the rest of his life.”

11. “I wish him episodes of glorious, sun-washed tedium and a loss of innocence he will contemplate for the rest of his life.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “The reading and writing of fiction both requires and instills empathy – the insertion of oneself into the life of another.”

12. “The reading and writing of fiction both requires and instills empathy – the insertion of oneself into the life of another.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Like most of the English faculty, she had dealt with suicidal and homicidal students, students with eating disorders who fainted in class, students with depression, cancer, learning disabilities, dead or dying parents, autism, schizophrenia, gender identity issues, romantic heartbreak, and various syndromes involving the inability to sit quietly and read.”

13. “Like most of the English faculty, she had dealt with suicidal and homicidal students, students with eating disorders who fainted in class, students with depression, cancer, learning disabilities, dead or dying parents, autism, schizophrenia, gender identity issues, romantic heartbreak, and various syndromes involving the inability to sit quietly and read.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Young would-be novelists and poets believe that art is eternal. Au contraire: we are in the business of ephemera, the era of floating islands of trash, and most of the things we feel deeply and inscribe on the page will disappear.”

14. “Young would-be novelists and poets believe that art is eternal. Au contraire: we are in the business of ephemera, the era of floating islands of trash, and most of the things we feel deeply and inscribe on the page will disappear.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “But there are other faculty here on campus who are not disposed to see notable scholarship ignored; and let it be known that, in the darkened, blood-strewn caverns of our offices, we are hewing our textbooks and keyboards into spears.”

15. “But there are other faculty here on campus who are not disposed to see notable scholarship ignored; and let it be known that, in the darkened, blood-strewn caverns of our offices, we are hewing our textbooks and keyboards into spears.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “It was a day like a thousand others, she said. It had begun with caffeine and ended in a desire to slam her head into the drawer of her desk.”

16. “It was a day like a thousand others, she said. It had begun with caffeine and ended in a desire to slam her head into the drawer of her desk.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Maybe the things she loved most weren’t meant to be permanent. Maybe the fact that they existed was enough.”

17. “Maybe the things she loved most weren’t meant to be permanent. Maybe the fact that they existed was enough.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Where to start, Fitger thought. The department was a funhouse of dysfunctional characters. Academia was, traditionally, a refuge for the poorly socialized and the obsessive; but English, at Payne, had a higher percentage of crackpots than most.”

18. “Where to start, Fitger thought. The department was a funhouse of dysfunctional characters. Academia was, traditionally, a refuge for the poorly socialized and the obsessive; but English, at Payne, had a higher percentage of crackpots than most.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Opening a book in the middle of a chapter always made me feel like I was interrupting a group of strangers, wandering unannounced into their villages and apartments and taxis and slums.”

19. “Opening a book in the middle of a chapter always made me feel like I was interrupting a group of strangers, wandering unannounced into their villages and apartments and taxis and slums.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “I shall wish her well and be the first to welcome her to “the writing life,” which, despite its horrors, is possibly one of the few sorts of lives worth living at all.”

20. “I shall wish her well and be the first to welcome her to “the writing life,” which, despite its horrors, is possibly one of the few sorts of lives worth living at all.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “I would like to confess things to her, to throw myself in her lap, to open the cage of my chest and show her the bones.”

21. “I would like to confess things to her, to throw myself in her lap, to open the cage of my chest and show her the bones.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Now in my middle fifties, an irrelevant codger, I find it discomfiting to see this generation dancing to the music of apocalypse and carrying their psychic burdens in front of them like infants in arms.”

22. “Now in my middle fifties, an irrelevant codger, I find it discomfiting to see this generation dancing to the music of apocalypse and carrying their psychic burdens in front of them like infants in arms.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “Addressing the non-tenure-track instructors was a ticklish and morally complicated task – akin to a ship’s captain going belowdecks to rouse the galley slaves at their posts.”

23. “Addressing the non-tenure-track instructors was a ticklish and morally complicated task – akin to a ship’s captain going belowdecks to rouse the galley slaves at their posts.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “During the summer, when the students were gone, she looked at the members of the professoriat muddling slowly across the quad and imagined she was working at a nursing home.”

24. “During the summer, when the students were gone, she looked at the members of the professoriat muddling slowly across the quad and imagined she was working at a nursing home.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “If every member of the human race evinced a fondness for literature and even a moderate level of dexterity with the written word, I would be a happier, if not more well-adjusted, man.”

25. “If every member of the human race evinced a fondness for literature and even a moderate level of dexterity with the written word, I would be a happier, if not more well-adjusted, man.”

— Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher Quote: “You want undergraduates who can write, think, and read? Stop pretending that writing can be taught across the curriculum by geologists and physicists who wouldn’t recognize a dependent clause if it bit them on the ass.”

26. “You want undergraduates who can write, think, and read? Stop pretending that writing can be taught across the curriculum by geologists and physicists who wouldn’t recognize a dependent clause if it bit them on the ass.”

— Julie Schumacher

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