Top 35 Kimberly Lemming Quotes (2026 Update)

1. “I had only two things on my mind; cheese and how to get home.”

— Kimberly Lemming

2. “Cin, I can barely breathe when you are not near. If anything were to happen to you, if you left me to be alone again, these memories of you would kill me.”

— Kimberly Lemming

3. “Fallon trailed his hand under my skirt, pushed my snack pocket aside, and gently caressed my thigh before grabbing my ass and grinding me to him.”

— Kimberly Lemming

4. “Deny me as much as you want, but we both know how this will end.”

— Kimberly Lemming

5. “There was something to be said about a woman with the confidence to unleash hell with a long sword. Men tended not to mess with you once they saw you swinging a fine blade like it was nothing. Possibly why I was still single at thirty-two, but who’s counting? Men are dumb, and are seldom worth the bother.”

— Kimberly Lemming

6. “My love, I’d sooner kill everyone on this ship to save you the embarrassment.”

— Kimberly Lemming

7. “Ma swore, pointing her wooden spatula like a blade. “Chili! I mean, Cumin! I mean Cinnamon! Dammit, the middle child! Stop badgering the girl child!” Pa.”

— Kimberly Lemming

8. “Know this little rabbit, I make good on my threats, but I make good on my promises too.”

— Kimberly Lemming

9. “Oh, the troubles I go through for my wife.” A thrill went up my spine at his words. “Am I really? We don’t need to have a ceremony or register with the church?” “Darling, we burned down the church.”

— Kimberly Lemming

10. “Who needs him? Or any man! Love is for people with not enough wine in their hands! With an equilibrium entirely hampered by my love of wine, I stumbled out of the dancing crowd into the food stalls in my daring quest for more cheese. My trusted nose locked on to the smell of aged cheddar and the race was on.”

— Kimberly Lemming

11. “I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.”

— Kimberly Lemming

12. “You don’t remember?” Fallon put his arms behind his head and settled back down. “Last night, you demanded we bring you cheese and then stated that you were the cheese queen.”

— Kimberly Lemming

13. “Oh, my sweet Rabbit. I wish you hadn’t done that.” He whispered. “Hiding your voice from me will just make me want to force it out of you.”

— Kimberly Lemming

14. “Hold on,” he said, pointing to the bottle. “Did you just pull an entire bottle of liquor out of your skirt?” “Yes.”

— Kimberly Lemming

15. “I mean, I’m going to take you as my wife when this is all over.”

— Kimberly Lemming

16. “I mean, not what I would say to the man who just beat your friend with your other friend like he was a ragdoll. But live your best life, I guess.”

— Kimberly Lemming

17. “I sent up a silent heartfelt apology to human men everywhere. Once word got out that demons were out here tonguing down women under beautiful illusions, it was over for normal men. “I see.”

— Kimberly Lemming

18. “Who wouldn’t want to go off on a grand adventure with a bunch of hot heroes also chosen by the goddess?” Me bitches. No, thank you.”

— Kimberly Lemming

19. “You leave my father out of this; you don’t know what he’s been through!” Without missing a beat, Usha opened the window and shouted, “Coke! He’s been through a lot of coke!”

— Kimberly Lemming

20. “Help me” the thing called again, sounding an awful lot like none of my business.”

— Kimberly Lemming

21. “My wife is a human. With big brown eyes, adorable dimples and a laugh that makes everything right with the world. And if anything happens to her, I will make you live through horrors so vile your grandchildren will weep!”

— Kimberly Lemming

22. “Who puts plates in the lower cabinets instead of the pots and pans? Heathens, that’s who.”

— Kimberly Lemming

23. “Oh. Bandit rapists. How cliche. I couldn’t even pretend to be surprised. Every adventure book I’ve ever read had at least one scene where the hero dashingly defeats a group of bandits to save the honor of a fair maiden. Only I wasn’t traveling with a hero. No. I was the lucky sucker saddled with a villain.”

— Kimberly Lemming

24. “Oh my god, chip my steal, you’re so annoying.” Alexis snapped. “Maybe if you fixed your attitude and took a bath once in a while, women would talk to you. You smell like old cheese and a mother’s regret.”

— Kimberly Lemming

25. “Oh, thank goodness!” Alexis let out a loud sigh. “I gotta be honest with ya, Big Daddy Dave. At first I was like, ‘Damn, this group looks like they jack off on crystals and kick puppies’ and then I saw y’all praying to a glowing puddle. That’s when I knew everything was gonna be OK.”

— Kimberly Lemming

26. “Somewhere deep in my soul, the moral compass guiding me through life shriveled up and died.”

— Kimberly Lemming

27. “I tried to find the right words, but instead just fluttered my arm around like my thoughts would arrange themselves better through interpretive jazz hands.”

— Kimberly Lemming

28. “Anyone who doesn’t have the tits for murder should stay towards the back.” My knees shook with the weight of her words. I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.”

— Kimberly Lemming

29. “Intruders will catch these flames.”

— Kimberly Lemming

30. “I just don’t know what to do.” “For starters, you keep scratching my ear. Next, you can embrace this for what it is: an adventure. Let’s see how far we can get.” “I strive to be as unbothered as you, Toto.” He chuffed happily, leaning into my petting. “Everyone should strive to be more like me.”

— Kimberly Lemming

31. “Potatoes are by far the most versatile crop. You can fry them up, bake them, or throw them at undesirable men who refuse to leave you alone.”

— Kimberly Lemming

32. “If you need me, don’t.”

— Kimberly Lemming

33. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to ask a dragon, an actual titan creature, to stop the rain so you can go on a date.”

— Kimberly Lemming

34. “My friend rested a hand on her cheek, before a slow crooked grin spread across her face. “He blew your back out, didn’t he?”

— Kimberly Lemming

35. “You may be the one chained, Princess, but make no mistake, I am always at your mercy.”

— Kimberly Lemming

36. “I’ll grow on ya.” “Like a plague,” I muttered.”

— Kimberly Lemming