Top 140 Kin Hubbard Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.”

— Kin Hubbard

Featured in: Fun Quotes

2. “Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.”

— Kin Hubbard

3. “There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.”

— Kin Hubbard

4. “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”

— Kin Hubbard

5. “The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”

— Kin Hubbard

6. “Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.”

— Kin Hubbard

7. “Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.”

— Kin Hubbard

8. “Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.”

— Kin Hubbard

9. “Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.”

— Kin Hubbard

10. “The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.”

— Kin Hubbard

11. “I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.”

— Kin Hubbard

12. “Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.”

— Kin Hubbard

13. “If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.”

— Kin Hubbard

14. “Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”

— Kin Hubbard

15. “The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.”

— Kin Hubbard

16. “The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!”

— Kin Hubbard

17. “No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”

— Kin Hubbard

18. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?”

— Kin Hubbard

19. “A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.”

— Kin Hubbard

20. “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”

— Kin Hubbard

21. “Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.”

— Kin Hubbard

22. “A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”

— Kin Hubbard

23. “Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.”

— Kin Hubbard

24. “If some people didn’t tell you, you’d never know they’d been away on a vacation.”

— Kin Hubbard

25. “Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.”

— Kin Hubbard

26. “It’s the good loser who finally loses out.”

— Kin Hubbard

27. “Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.”

— Kin Hubbard

28. “Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.”

— Kin Hubbard

29. “Many a family tree needs trimming.”

— Kin Hubbard

30. “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”

— Kin Hubbard

31. “It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.”

— Kin Hubbard

32. “The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.”

— Kin Hubbard

33. “A loafer always has the correct time.”

— Kin Hubbard

34. “Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.”

— Kin Hubbard

Featured in: Book Quotes

35. “All the world loves a good loser.”

— Kin Hubbard

36. “Being an optimist after you’ve got everything you want doesn’t count.”

— Kin Hubbard

37. “Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn’t be so bad if they thought.”

— Kin Hubbard

38. “When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it’s a wonder there isn’t more of it done.”

— Kin Hubbard

39. “Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.”

— Kin Hubbard

40. “The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.”

— Kin Hubbard

41. “There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn’t make the mistake of trying to get together.”

— Kin Hubbard

42. “A sympathizer is a fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.”

— Kin Hubbard

43. “The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it’s so crowded.”

— Kin Hubbard

44. “You won’t skid if you stay in a rut.”

— Kin Hubbard

45. “It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.”

— Kin Hubbard

46. “Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.”

— Kin Hubbard

47. “We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.”

— Kin Hubbard

48. “A friend that ain’t in need is a friend indeed.”

— Kin Hubbard

49. “Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.”

— Kin Hubbard

50. “Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.”

— Kin Hubbard