Top 30 Kristen Painter Quotes (2024 Update)

Kristen Painter Quote: “Those pigeons are in the water,” Spider said. “Those aren’t pigeons. Those are ducks. And ducks love the water.” “Ducks are dumb.” He looked up at me. “Spider hates water.”

1. “Those pigeons are in the water,” Spider said. “Those aren’t pigeons. Those are ducks. And ducks love the water.” “Ducks are dumb.” He looked up at me. “Spider hates water.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “A job worth doing is a job worth doing well.”

2. “A job worth doing is a job worth doing well.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “The crazy cat lady in love with the vampire.”

3. “The crazy cat lady in love with the vampire.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “She swallowed. “It’s totally wrong of me to be turned on by the thought of murder, but that’s kind of hot.”

4. “She swallowed. “It’s totally wrong of me to be turned on by the thought of murder, but that’s kind of hot.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “A man without a sweet tooth is not to be trusted.”

5. “A man without a sweet tooth is not to be trusted.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “You’ve got me confused with one of those women who needs a ring on her finger to feel complete. I don’t put those kinds of expectations on men. And I’d say I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and Hugh, but based on your current amount of crazy, I’d say he dodged a bullet.”

6. “You’ve got me confused with one of those women who needs a ring on her finger to feel complete. I don’t put those kinds of expectations on men. And I’d say I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and Hugh, but based on your current amount of crazy, I’d say he dodged a bullet.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Twilight, huh? Maybe Hugh Ellingham was a fan of the books.”

7. “Twilight, huh? Maybe Hugh Ellingham was a fan of the books.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “You’re my last thought of the day and my first thought when I awake.”

8. “You’re my last thought of the day and my first thought when I awake.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Yes, but when I go out, I let my light shine. Unlike you, who has yet to actually turn your light on. At least I know now there’s a bulb in there.”

9. “Yes, but when I go out, I let my light shine. Unlike you, who has yet to actually turn your light on. At least I know now there’s a bulb in there.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Death and madness are his only mistresses.”

10. “Death and madness are his only mistresses.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “I’m going to put a diamond on you the size of a lighthouse beacon. There won’t be a man in this city who doesn’t know you’re married.”

11. “I’m going to put a diamond on you the size of a lighthouse beacon. There won’t be a man in this city who doesn’t know you’re married.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Money and physical attributes I can take or leave. After all, they’re both attributes that can come and go depending on the circumstances. But I will not abide a cheating man.”

12. “Money and physical attributes I can take or leave. After all, they’re both attributes that can come and go depending on the circumstances. But I will not abide a cheating man.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “The only male in Delaney’s bed when she woke up was Captain. He stared at her from the other pillow, judging her in the silent way of cats.”

13. “The only male in Delaney’s bed when she woke up was Captain. He stared at her from the other pillow, judging her in the silent way of cats.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Well what?” “Go fix it, you dimwitted night crawler.”

14. “Well what?” “Go fix it, you dimwitted night crawler.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “You try to steal either of our souls and I will shred you like junk mail.”

15. “You try to steal either of our souls and I will shred you like junk mail.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “I’m not sure where to start. Actually, I am. And it requires doughnuts. Hold down the fort until I get back?” “For doughnuts?” She grinned. “I would build you a new fort.”

16. “I’m not sure where to start. Actually, I am. And it requires doughnuts. Hold down the fort until I get back?” “For doughnuts?” She grinned. “I would build you a new fort.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “She snorted. “I’m not sure that’s a ringing endorsement. I’ve seen Grom lick his privates like it was an ice cream sundae.”

17. “She snorted. “I’m not sure that’s a ringing endorsement. I’ve seen Grom lick his privates like it was an ice cream sundae.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Olive loved Sanders? This was seriously messing with my head. “He never would have loved you,” Luna said. Oh, Luna. Don’t poke the crazy.”

18. “Olive loved Sanders? This was seriously messing with my head. “He never would have loved you,” Luna said. Oh, Luna. Don’t poke the crazy.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Treats? Spider loves treats.”

19. “Treats? Spider loves treats.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Spider rubbed up against my leg. “Hungry. Mama feed Spider.”

20. “Spider rubbed up against my leg. “Hungry. Mama feed Spider.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “A small cow walked toward him and meowed. “What on earth is – Stanhill mentioned you brought your cat. He failed to mention the creature is the size of an SUV.”

21. “A small cow walked toward him and meowed. “What on earth is – Stanhill mentioned you brought your cat. He failed to mention the creature is the size of an SUV.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “She’s a lovely young woman from upstate New York, but you should be very thankful for those romance-novel-reading, tween-movie-watching women. They’ve had a big hand in making our town a success.” “And Julian’s love life, once he learned to spray himself with glitter.”

22. “She’s a lovely young woman from upstate New York, but you should be very thankful for those romance-novel-reading, tween-movie-watching women. They’ve had a big hand in making our town a success.” “And Julian’s love life, once he learned to spray himself with glitter.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “He kneaded his front feet on the floor in a little dance, which was so cute it hurt. “Spider loves Chicken Party.”

23. “He kneaded his front feet on the floor in a little dance, which was so cute it hurt. “Spider loves Chicken Party.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Pain always seemed to make her more beautiful.”

24. “Pain always seemed to make her more beautiful.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “A vampire in a romance novel was something very different than one standing in front of you.”

25. “A vampire in a romance novel was something very different than one standing in front of you.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “I also never turn down sprinkles. Which could be my life’s motto.”

26. “I also never turn down sprinkles. Which could be my life’s motto.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Welcome to Nocturne Falls – where every day is Halloween.”

27. “Welcome to Nocturne Falls – where every day is Halloween.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “What would the public do when Halloween had come and gone but the monsters still remained?”

28. “What would the public do when Halloween had come and gone but the monsters still remained?”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Charlie closed his eyes. A second later, he was a wolf. “You did it!” Hank nodded, his head getting lighter and lighter as blood seeped out of him. He dragged himself toward Ivy, who was still struggling with Prescott. “Now bite him and run as soon as you’re free.” Charlie bit the hand that was holding him. Prescott released the boy. Ivy got free too, only to leap on top of Prescott and knock him down. Her.”

29. “Charlie closed his eyes. A second later, he was a wolf. “You did it!” Hank nodded, his head getting lighter and lighter as blood seeped out of him. He dragged himself toward Ivy, who was still struggling with Prescott. “Now bite him and run as soon as you’re free.” Charlie bit the hand that was holding him. Prescott released the boy. Ivy got free too, only to leap on top of Prescott and knock him down. Her.”

— Kristen Painter

Kristen Painter Quote: “Little Tony scratched his neck. “Don’t forget he besmirched my name, Pop.” Huh, how about that? Little Tony not only knew a big word, but had used it correctly.”

30. “Little Tony scratched his neck. “Don’t forget he besmirched my name, Pop.” Huh, how about that? Little Tony not only knew a big word, but had used it correctly.”

— Kristen Painter

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