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Top 120 Lindsay C. Gibson Quotes (2024 Update)
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Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “They are profoundly self-involved because their development was stunted by anxiety during childhood. In this way, their egocentrism is more like the self-preoccupation of someone with a chronic pain condition, rather than someone who can’t get enough of himself or herself.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Because they aren’t self-reflective, EI parents have poor filters and say things without thinking. They can leave people stunned by their inappropriate comments. If confronted with their insensitivity, they might say things like, “I was only saying what I thought,” as if speaking all your thoughts out loud were normal behavior.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “EIPs take this to an extreme. The way it feels to them is the way it is.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Successful marital therapy often involves exposing how people’s healing fantasies try to force their partners to give them the loving childhood they always wished for.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “The loneliness of feeling unseen by others is as fundamental a pain as physical injury, but it doesn’t show on the outside. Emotional loneliness is a vague and private experience, not easy to see or describe. You might call it a feeling of emptiness or being alone in the world. Some have called this feeling existential loneliness, but there’s nothing existential about it. If you feel it, it came from your family.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Rational inquiry will reveal that one EIP’s opinion isn’t the only way to look at things.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Emotionally immature adults communicate feelings in this same primitive way. As parents, when they’re distressed they upset their children and everyone around them, typically with the result that others are willing to do anything to make them feel better. In this role reversal, the child catches the contagion of the parent’s distress and feels responsible for making the parent feel better.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Emotionally immature people, on the other hand, often take pride in their lack of this skill. They rationalize their impulsive and insensitive responses with excuses like “I’m just saying what I think” or “I can’t change who I am.” If you confront them with the fact that not saying everything you think is a sign of good sense or that people can’t mature without changing who they are, they will probably respond with anger or by dismissing you as ridiculous.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Many EI parents disregarded or repressed their inner experiences to the point where external referencing became their only source of security. Without a genuine sense of self-worth and identity, a person has to wrest that from the outside world and other people.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “First you detach from them emotionally and accept their right to feel whatever they feel, just as you hold that right for yourself. You don’t have to judge their feelings, nor do you have to do what they want. You understand that EIPs are upset when things don’t go their way, yet you don’t change your mind just because they’re unhappy.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Shame can be so unbearable that the mere threat of it can coerce you into doing whatever an EIP wants.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Role entitlement is an attitude of demanding certain treatment because of your social role. When parents feel entitled to do what they want simply because they’re in the role of parent, this is a form of role entitlement. They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerate.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Whereas emotional parents are obvious in their immaturity, driven parents seem so invested in their child’s success that their egocentrism is hard to see. Most of the time, you wouldn’t notice anything unhealthy about them. However, their children may have trouble with either initiative or self-control. Paradoxically, these very involved, hardworking parents often end up with unmotivated, even depressive children.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “The good news is that by grasping the concept of emotional immaturity, you can develop more realistic expectations of other people, accepting the level of relationship possible with them instead of feeling hurt by their lack of response.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Lacking adequate parental support or connection, many emotionally deprived children are eager to leave childhood behind. They perceive that the best solution is to grow up quickly and become self-sufficient. These children become competent beyond their years but lonely at their core. They often jump into adulthood prematurely, getting jobs as soon as they can, becoming sexually active, marrying early, or joining the service.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “People who are emotionally immature only feel good about themselves when they can get other people to give them what they want and to act like they think they should.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Your relationship with yourself is the most vital relationship you have, essential for real connection with other people.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Emotionally immature parents fear genuine emotion and pull back from emotional closeness. They use coping mechanisms that resist reality rather than dealing with it. They don’t welcome self-reflection, so they rarely accept blame or apologize.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Externalizers also demand attention by blaming or guilt-tripping others. As a result, people may end up feeling that they have to help, whether they want to or not, creating resentment over the long run.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “Internalizers are always caught off guard when someone shows genuine interest in how they feel. One overwhelmed woman who had just started psychotherapy paused in her story and looked at me oddly. She then said in amazement, “You really see me.” She could tell I understood the underlying pain she was describing despite her exceptionally high functioning in daily life. She acted like this was the last thing she expected, and given that she was an internalizer, it most assuredly was.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “But in childhood you may have learned to disregard your inner messages and do what other people thought was right for you. There’s a huge cost for that later, setting you up for living a life that is not what you want. Instead, try to rediscover yourself from the inside out, listening for those cues that tell you what to seek and what to avoid.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “The pleasure you get from task completion is powerful, but it has a short half-life. It does not linger to sustain you over the days to come. Enjoyment of task completion fades surprisingly fast, just like a drug high. That is because there is no heart in it, no warm, glowing feeling of connection to the world and other people. It is a sugar high compared to the sustaining nutrients of relational, experiential living.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “In childhood, when people invalidate or dismiss your inner experiences, your inner world seems unworthy of being taken seriously.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “A rigid or easily threatened parent will make it very clear that certain traits and behaviors are bad and deserve rejection or punishment. At the same time, such a parent may show warmth or approval if the child acts in ways that the parent can relate to.”
Lindsay C. Gibson Quote: “I have a special place in my heart for people like Sophie, who function so well that other people think they have no problems. In fact, their competence makes it hard for them to take their own pain seriously. “I have it all,” they’re likely to say. “I should be happy. Why do I feel so miserable?” This is the classic confusion of a person whose physical needs were met in childhood while emotional needs remained unfulfilled.”
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