Top 120 Lindsay C. Gibson Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Emotionally immature people don’t step back and think about how their behavior impacts others. There’s no cringe factor for them, so they seldom apologize or experience regret.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

2. “Mutual emotional responsiveness is the single most essential ingredient of human relationships.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

3. “People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other person first.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

4. “Children stay in alignment with their true self if the important adults in their lives support doing so. However, when they’re criticized or shamed, they learn to feel embarrassed by their true desires. By pretending to be what their parents want, children think they’ve found the way to win their parents’ love. They silence their true selves and instead follow the guidance of their role-selves and fantasies. In the process, they lose touch with both their inner and outer reality.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

5. “Being well cared for in nonemotional areas can create confusion in people who grow up feeling emotionally lonely. They have overwhelming physical evidence that their parents loved and sacrificed for them, but they feel a painful lack of emotional security and closeness with their parents.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

6. “If you were neglected by emotionally immature parents during childhood, you may find yourself willing to put up with unsolicited analysis and unwanted advice from others. This is common among people who are hungry for personal feedback that shows someone is thinking about them. But this kind of “advice” isn’t nourishing attention; rather, it’s motivated by a desire to be in control.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

7. “If you look a bit deeper, you can detect the emotional immaturity in these upstanding, responsible people. It shows up in the way they make assumptions about other people, expecting everyone to want and value the same things they do. Their excessive self-focus manifests as a conviction that they know what’s “good” for others.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

8. “When you’re going through a breakdown, a good question to ask is what is actually breaking down. We usually think it’s our self. But what’s typically happening is that our struggle to deny our emotional truth is breaking down. Emotional distress is a signal that it’s getting harder to remain emotionally unconscious. It means we’re about to discover our true selves underneath all that story business.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

9. “Emotionally immature people often have difficulty engaging in humor in ways that strengthen bonds with others. Instead, they push humor on others, even when others aren’t amused. They also tend to enjoy humor at someone else’s expense, using it to boost their self-esteem. For example, they may enjoy humor that involves tricking people or making them look foolish or inept. This trait is a good indicator of how they will eventually treat you.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

10. “Accepting the truth of your feelings and thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a whole person, and mature enough to know your own mind.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

11. “Remember, your goodness as a person isn’t based on how much you give in relationships, and it isn’t selfish to set limits on people who keep on taking.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

12. “Empathy is what makes people feel safe in relationships. Along with self-awareness, it’s the soul of emotional intelligence, guiding people toward prosocial behavior and fairness in dealings with others. In contrast, nonempathic people overlook your feelings and don’t seem to imagine your experience or be sensitive to it. It’s important to be aware of this, because a person who isn’t responsive to your feelings won’t be emotionally safe when the two of you have any kind of disagreement.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

13. “Children of rejecting parents come to see themselves as bothers and irritants, causing them to give up easily, whereas more secure children tend to keep making requests or complaining to get what they want. This can have serious ramifications later in life when, as adults, these rejected children find it hard to ask for what they need.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

14. “Developing a sense of self is also necessary for the self-awareness and self-reflection that allow us to observe ourselves and how our behavior affects other people. Without a sense of self fostered in childhood, people can’t self-reflect and therefore have no way to grow and change psychologically. Instead, they are limited to blaming others and expecting others to change first.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

15. “As children, perceptive internalizers can’t help but notice it when their parents aren’t truly connecting with them. They register emotional hurt in a way that a less aware child doesn’t and therefore are affected deeply by growing up with emotionally immature parents. Because internalizers are sensitive to the subtleties of their relationships with loved ones, when they have an emotionally unengaged parent, they are much more aware of the painful loneliness that results.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

16. “The sooner temper shows up in a relationship, the worse the implications. Most people are on their best behavior early in a relationship, so be wary of people who display irritability early on. It can indicate both brittleness and a sense of entitlement, not to mention disrespect. People who have a short fuse and expect that life should go according to their wishes don’t make for good company. If you find yourself reflexively stepping in to soothe someone’s anger, watch out.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

17. “You can get swept up into believing that you’re desperate for a relationship with someone even when you actually don’t enjoy the interactions the other person has to offer.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

18. “4. The Right to Choose Relationships I have the right to know whether I love you or not. I have the right to refuse what you want to give me. I have the right not to be disloyal to myself just to make things easier on you. I have the right to end our relationship, even if we’re related. I have the right not to be depended upon. I have the right to stay away from anyone who is unpleasant or draining.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

19. “When people keep themselves poised in neutral observation, they can’t be hurt or emotionally ensnared by other people’s behavior.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

20. “As an adult, you might be better off investing in a deeper relationship with yourself, while lowering your expectations for the kind of relationship you can have with an emotionally unresponsive parent.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

21. “Emotionally mature people may tell you how they feel about what you did, but they don’t pretend to know you better than you know yourself.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

22. “You aren’t betraying your parents by seeing them accurately. Thinking about them objectively can’t hurt them. But it can help you.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

23. “Fairness and reciprocity are at the heart of good relationships. Emotionally mature people don’t like taking advantage of people, nor do they like the feeling of being used. They want to help and are generous with their time, but they also ask for attention and assistance when they need it. They’re willing to give more than they get back for awhile, but they won’t let an imbalance go on indefinitely.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

24. “No child can be good enough to evoke love from a highly self-involved parent. Nevertheless, these children come to believe that the price of making a connection is to put other people first and treat them as more important. They think they can keep relationships by being the giver. Children who try to be good enough to win their parents’ love have no way of knowing that unconditional love cannot be bought with conditional behavior. Logan’s.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

25. “Most emotionally mature people can accept that changes and disappointments are a part of life. They accept their feelings and look for alternative ways to find gratification when they’re disappointed. They’re collaborative and open to others’ ideas.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

26. “The most painful interactions with emotionally immature parents occur when their children need something from them. Whether it’s attention, love, or communication, many neglected children continue to seek some kind of positive emotional regard from their parents well into adulthood, even though their parents aren’t the giving type.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

27. “1. The Right to Set Limits I have the right to set limits on your hurtful or exploitative behavior. I have the right to break off any interaction in which I feel pressured or coerced. I have the right to stop anything long before I feel exhausted. I have the right to call a halt to any interaction I don’t find enjoyable. I have the right to say no without a good reason.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

28. “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerate.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

29. “If parents don’t label their own behavior as abusive, their child won’t label it that way either. Even as adults, many people have no idea that what happened to them in childhood was abusive. As a result, they may not recognize abusive behavior in their adult relationships.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

30. “I don’t remember anyone being able to help with the fears I was having. They just said generic things, like ‘Oh, you’re going to be fine,’ ‘It’s going to be okay,’ or ‘There’s no need to feel that way; you’ll feel better soon.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

31. “They’re accustomed to putting others in the limelight and worry that they’ll get a swelled head if they recognize their own strengths. However, it’s crucial to know what your assets are and be able to articulate them. It provides self-validation and allows you to feel good about what you bring to the world. This self-recognition builds energy and positivity. While modesty and humility can help you keep things in perspective, they shouldn’t prevent you from knowing your best qualities.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

32. “When emotional parents disintegrate, they take their children with them into their personal meltdown. Their children experience their despair, rage, or hatred in all its intensity.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

33. “Growing up subject to others’ emotional immaturity can be frustrating and emotionally painful. Consequently, you may feel especially grateful when delightful people come along to make you feel like all is right with the world. Around them, it feels natural to be yourself. Your thinking is clear, your heart feels warm, and they draw the very best out of you. You simultaneously become more yourself – and more than yourself.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

34. “They just learn to cling to whatever emotional scraps they get because any connection is better than none at all. Yet.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

35. “Out of sync with their child’s moment-to-moment experience, they don’t adapt themselves to their child’s needs; instead, they push their child toward what they think he or she should be doing. As a result, the children of driven parents always feel they should be doing more, or be doing something other than whatever they are doing.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

36. “Only emotionally phobic, emotionally immature people believe that wanting empathy and understanding is a sign of weakness. Forging.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

37. “10. The Right to Love and Protect Myself I have the right to self-compassion when I make mistakes. I have the right to change my self-concept when it no longer fits. I have the right to love myself and treat myself nicely. I have the right to be free of self-criticism and to enjoy my individuality. I have the right to be me.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

38. “Children who try to be good enough to win their parents’ love have no way of knowing that unconditional love cannot be bought with conditional behavior.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

39. “Human rights defend people’s rights to feel valuable and good inside, not just safe on the outside.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

40. “This can have serious ramifications later in life when, as adults, these rejected children find it hard to ask for what they need.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

41. “3. The Right to Emotional Autonomy and Mental Freedom I have the right to any and all of my feelings. I have the right to think anything I want. I have the right to not be ridiculed or mocked about my values, ideas, or interests. I have the right to be bothered by how I’m treated. I have the right to not like your behavior or attitude.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

42. “Further, in an enmeshed family, if you have a problem with someone, you talk about that person to other people instead of going to the person directly. Bowen called this triangling and characterized enmeshment as the glue that keeps such families together.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

43. “Emotionally immature parents don’t try to understand the emotional experiences of other people – including their own children. If accused of being insensitive to the needs or feelings of others, they become defensive, saying something along the lines of “Well, you should have said so!” They might add something about not being a mind reader, or they might dismiss the situation by saying the hurt person is overly emotional or too sensitive.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

44. “EI parents lack the calm depth that emotionally nourished people have. They don’t show the security and deep self-acceptance that come from connecting with a sensitive caretaker in childhood. Perhaps it was their own lack of childhood connection that makes them insist on absolute loyalty and sacrifice from their children. They behave as if they are terrified that they don’t really matter.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

45. “Emotional neglect in childhood leads to a painful emotional loneliness that can have a long-term negative impact on a person’s choices regarding relationships and intimate partners.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

46. “With a rejecting father, it’s easy to feel apologetic for existing.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

47. “But when you doubt your deeper instincts, you lose clarity of mind. Your thoughts are clouded by polluted waters of self-doubt and fears of rejection. It gets harder and harder to think clearly in the face of their coercive tactics.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

48. “Emotionally immature people are highly self-referential, meaning that in any interaction, all roads lead back to them. However, they aren’t self-reflective. Their focus on themselves isn’t about gaining insight or self-understanding; it’s about being the center of attention.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

49. “Emotionally mature, responsive people have an emotional engagement instinct that works smoothly. They like to connect, and they naturally give and receive comfort under stressful conditions. They are sympathetic and know how crucial friendly support can be.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson

50. “Unfortunately, if their parents aren’t interested in noticing their impacts on others, they have no impetus to look at themselves; without such self-reflection, there’s no way to change.”

— Lindsay C. Gibson