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Top 80 Louise Rennison Quotes (2025 Update)
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Louise Rennison Quote: “I don’t want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.”

51. “I don’t want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?”

52. “This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.”

53. “What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “They were looking really scared. They had probably seen her knees.”

54. “They were looking really scared. They had probably seen her knees.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Rosie laughed in a not too reassuring way if you like sane laughter.”

55. “Rosie laughed in a not too reassuring way if you like sane laughter.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I can’t believe the poo-osity of my life!”

56. “I can’t believe the poo-osity of my life!”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Still, a really heavy period should cheer me up.”

57. “Still, a really heavy period should cheer me up.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “When uncle Eddie does his impression of ‘Like a Virgin’ it’s like Madonna is coming out of his body!? Christ what an image.”

58. “When uncle Eddie does his impression of ‘Like a Virgin’ it’s like Madonna is coming out of his body!? Christ what an image.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn’t put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.”

59. “And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn’t put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Who knows what goes on in my mind? I will be the last to know. Even.”

60. “Who knows what goes on in my mind? I will be the last to know. Even.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it’s a crap idea?”

61. “How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it’s a crap idea?”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I am going to become a writer for Cosmo – you don’t have to make any sense at all. Or maybe I’ll be a bloke, they don’t have to make sense either.”

62. “I am going to become a writer for Cosmo – you don’t have to make any sense at all. Or maybe I’ll be a bloke, they don’t have to make sense either.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn’t it farther away?”

63. “Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn’t it farther away?”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, ‘Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you.”

64. “Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, ‘Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Angus is amusing himself by ambushing the postman. Och aye, they may have taken his trouser snake addendums, but they cannae tak his freedom!!”

65. “Angus is amusing himself by ambushing the postman. Och aye, they may have taken his trouser snake addendums, but they cannae tak his freedom!!”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Watching TV mum said,” Do you miss your dad?” And I said,” Who?”

66. “Watching TV mum said,” Do you miss your dad?” And I said,” Who?”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I care too much for people. I am a bit like Jesus. Only not so heavily bearded.”

67. “I care too much for people. I am a bit like Jesus. Only not so heavily bearded.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Everyone is so bloody keen on me thinking all of a sudden. It’s not what I do.”

68. “Everyone is so bloody keen on me thinking all of a sudden. It’s not what I do.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “When we did eventually get to the party – me walking next to Dad’s Volvo driving at five miles an hour – I had a horrible time. Everyone laughed at first but then more or less ignored me. In a mood of defiant stuffed oliveness I did have a dance by myself but things kept crashing to the floor around me. The host asked if I would sit down. I had a go at that but it was useless. In the end I was at the gate for about an hour before Dad arrived.”

69. “When we did eventually get to the party – me walking next to Dad’s Volvo driving at five miles an hour – I had a horrible time. Everyone laughed at first but then more or less ignored me. In a mood of defiant stuffed oliveness I did have a dance by myself but things kept crashing to the floor around me. The host asked if I would sit down. I had a go at that but it was useless. In the end I was at the gate for about an hour before Dad arrived.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “All boys are swines. They snog you and dump you. Or lick your face. Or put bats in your mouth.”

70. “All boys are swines. They snog you and dump you. Or lick your face. Or put bats in your mouth.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I am a pop widow.”

71. “I am a pop widow.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.”

72. “Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I am abandoned on the ship of life.” “I know.” “Jas, you are not really cheering me up.” “Well, I know and that is because there is really nothing to be cheerful about; I would hate to be you.” in.”

73. “I am abandoned on the ship of life.” “I know.” “Jas, you are not really cheering me up.” “Well, I know and that is because there is really nothing to be cheerful about; I would hate to be you.” in.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I know there is an unseen power at work of which we have little comprehension, but I don’t really feel I can consult with Jesus about my basoomas.”

74. “I know there is an unseen power at work of which we have little comprehension, but I don’t really feel I can consult with Jesus about my basoomas.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Oh no. I’ve just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven’t put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.”

75. “Oh no. I’ve just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven’t put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.”

76. “As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away.”

77. “Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “But I can be a very kind and caring person, especially if I am about three thousand miles away in a different country.”

78. “But I can be a very kind and caring person, especially if I am about three thousand miles away in a different country.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I said to Mum, “Vati is very very like David Beckham, isn’t he? Apart from being porky, heavily bearded and crap at football.”

79. “I said to Mum, “Vati is very very like David Beckham, isn’t he? Apart from being porky, heavily bearded and crap at football.”

— Louise Rennison

Louise Rennison Quote: “I suppose this is what life will be like for me – never having a boyfriend, always just living through others.”

80. “I suppose this is what life will be like for me – never having a boyfriend, always just living through others.”

— Louise Rennison

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