Top 40 Martin Short Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “The thing you can always rely on, your core person, comes from your family’s attention and love.”

— Martin Short

2. “If you have wonderful moments, don’t second-guess them, just enjoy them.”

— Martin Short

3. “I’ve chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.”

— Martin Short

4. “No one is any one thing.”

— Martin Short

5. “Ill give you an idea of how Jewish Mel Brooks is: Thats a nose job.”

— Martin Short

6. “I’m totally aware of how lucky I am. I have health, family, children. I do work that gives me total joy and allows me to make a living, and maybe, if I’m lucky enough, I’ll feel I’ve fulfilled a little bit of service to society because I brought other people some laughter.”

— Martin Short

7. “I pretend I’m one of the royal family when I’m in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me – it is a palace.”

— Martin Short

8. “This lesson is, I suppose, a major reason I wrote this book: because along the way I’ve picked up the wisdom that bad things happen, and yet the sun still comes up the next day, and it’s up to you to carry on living your life and keeping your setbacks in perspective. You also have to understand that on some level, these horrible and sad things happen to everyone; the mark of a man is not just how he survives it all but also what wisdom he’s gained from the experience.”

— Martin Short

9. “People do think I’m Jewish. But we’re Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.”

— Martin Short

10. “There was an era when people would turn on their radio and hear a radio drama. Now, you could be as scared by that as seeing it filmed. In those days, people used to sit by the fire and imagine what they were hearing. Everything is its own art form.”

— Martin Short

11. “When you have to worry about paying the rent, you’re never bored. You’re just happy to have that job. But once you don’t have to worry and reach the point where it’s no longer about the money, you’re able to look at other opportunities outside of your comfort zone.”

— Martin Short

12. “Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Everything remains as it was. The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no sorrow in your tone. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.”

— Martin Short

13. “Discipline is essential to life, whether you are administering or inflicting the spanking.”

— Martin Short

14. “One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.”

— Martin Short

15. “As I write this, I am sixty-four years old, with, I hope, many more years to live and lots more to do. And, by the way, no face work. I know you’re thinking, “No kidding.” But cosmetic surgery just doesn’t work on a man. Were I to take the plunge, no one would ever say, “Whoa, who’s that really hot thirty-eight-year-old dude?” They’d say, “Who’s that sixty-four-year-old who’s been in a fire?” Being.”

— Martin Short

16. “I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.”

— Martin Short

17. “I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.”

— Martin Short

18. “I think I’m funny because my family, my siblings were funny.”

— Martin Short

19. “Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.”

— Martin Short

20. “A few years ago, I won a Tony for Little Me and I learned two important lessons from that experience. 1. Fair-weather friends are so much more interesting to be around and 2. It’s amazing what this award fetches on E-Bay.”

— Martin Short

21. “Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.”

— Martin Short

22. “You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It’s very easy to get lulled.”

— Martin Short

23. “It’s better to love a short...”

— Martin Short

24. “All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.”

— Martin Short

25. “My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.”

— Martin Short

26. “I decided that, as a stand-up, I’d position myself as a cerebral, observational comic, making references to Camus and Kierkegaard. I wasn’t so much concerned with getting laughs as I was with seeing audience members turn to each other at any given moment and say, “Exactly!”

— Martin Short

27. “I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.”

— Martin Short

28. “I’m an actor who loves doing comedy.”

— Martin Short

29. “What’s great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It’s not about the gloss of your eyebrows.”

— Martin Short

30. “I hate to lull the audience into letting them think that something is something. It’s always fun to defy expectations.”

— Martin Short

31. “All you’re trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.”

— Martin Short

32. “Whether arrogantly or what, I view myself simply as an actor.”

— Martin Short

33. “An actor can spew out thoughts, but they’re not all gold.”

— Martin Short

34. “Being the youngest of five, you’re adored, you’re fueled with confidence.”

— Martin Short

35. “I think I’ve been really lucky to keep my career so varied, and to be open. There’s safety in repetition, but there’s also a trap there.”

— Martin Short

36. “I’ve never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that’s the challenge.”

— Martin Short

37. “A musical is only as good as its director. The same can also be said for the CIA.”

— Martin Short

38. “When you start a new project and they say, “Your director is going to be Joe Blo,” you’re hoping that Joe Blo will be the next Martin Scorsese, but it doesn’t always work out that way.”

— Martin Short

39. “I still do live concerts all over the country – about four a month – with singing and characters and improv. It keeps me limber. I’ll never lose that. And comedy is still the bread and butter.”

— Martin Short

40. “I’ve done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.”

— Martin Short

41. “We arranged to spend the next day, a Sunday, looking at apartments together, followed by a round of tennis, since we both played. Before Nancy left the Pilot that night, I said to her lasciviously – I don’t know what possessed me – “Have you ever tried a comedian before?” Which was either very sexy or very creepy, depending on your opinion of me. She just stared at me, betraying no emotion, and said, “I hope you have a racket. I’m pretty good.” Our.”

— Martin Short

42. “Da problem with today’s songwriters is, dey’re just ripping off what I did years ago. “Send In da Clowns”? I wrote da same tune back in 1910 under the title “Send Up Some Towels.”

— Martin Short