Top 80 Matt Dinniman Quotes (2026 Update)
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51. “You keep destroying governmental buildings, Carl,” Donut said. “People are going to start thinking you have a problem with authority.”

— Matt Dinniman

52. “There was a difference between giving aid and sacrificing yourself for people you didn’t even know.”

— Matt Dinniman

53. “They say the sincerest form of flattery is when someone copies you.” Donut scoffed. “No, Carl. That’s just something thieves say to make themselves feel better about stealing other people’s stuff. The sincerest form of flattery is when people cry when they meet you.”

— Matt Dinniman

54. “Yo. Donut told me we sometimes get snacks,” Ferdinand said. He remained up on the counter. “I’m looking, Zev. But you know what I’m not seeing? Snacks.”

— Matt Dinniman

55. “Wait for my signal this time or you won’t be allowed to go to the party.” “I will kill your mother.”

— Matt Dinniman

56. “Nor am I wearing a cloak that makes me look like I won a participation trophy at the special needs comic con, Carl. I’m a cat. Cats don’t wear pants.”

— Matt Dinniman

57. “The corpse had looked like a party sized sausage and green pepper pizza that had been run over a few times.”

— Matt Dinniman

58. “Carl?” she asked. I looked down into her large, glowing eyes. “Yeah?” “I’m not as dumb as I pretend to be. I know she’s dead.” “I know.” I wrapped myself around her. We both closed our eyes and braced for the end.”

— Matt Dinniman

59. “What the hell is wrong with you? You planning on opening a thrift store? You might want to see a shrink. One that your group doesn’t immediately kill. Reward: We don’t reward this sort of behavior. It’s weird.”

— Matt Dinniman

60. “Her eyes were clenched shut in mock pain. “This mortal coil is shed.” “Oh, get up,” I said, looking about the room. “Help me loot all this crap.”

— Matt Dinniman

61. “Skill Potion. Drinking this adds a single level to the Determine Value skill. Hopefully now you’ll realize all those Magic: The Gathering cards are nothing more than just meaningless pieces of paper, and you should have spent your money on something with actual value, like a treadmill. Or shampoo.”

— Matt Dinniman

62. “Apito warns us of the great beast who yearns to unravel the heavens and kill all the gods. And now this great deceiver, this devourer of all that is holy, has a name. She is Donut, the Oak Fell, the death upon us all. She who ends.”

— Matt Dinniman

63. “This was also something that trauma could do. It could make you blind, and it could open your eyes wider than they’d ever been, all at the same time.”

— Matt Dinniman

64. “You’re my best friend, Carl. I’ve been so lonely. When you didn’t show up at the Bahamas on the last floor, I thought... ” He didn’t finish the sentence. He was letting out these huge, wet, snot-filled sobs.”

— Matt Dinniman

65. “Souls weren’t something one was born with. No, I knew that now. Souls, and the resulting power, they were the sum of one’s pain, one’s joy, one’s laughter, and one’s wanting. All captured and distilled and expelled upon death.”

— Matt Dinniman

66. “I feel that trying to talk me into killing myself is not proper parenting.”

— Matt Dinniman

67. “All it takes is a little seed, my mom had said that day as we planted the trees. Just little seeds here and there, and soon enough you have a forest.”

— Matt Dinniman

68. “People sure like to make a big deal out of adopting pets. They “rescue” them before they spend the next 10 years exploiting the poor, oblivious animal to death on social media. They splatch a bumper sticker that reads “Who Rescued Who?” on their minivans while the poor dog spends 20 hours a day in a stinking crate.”

— Matt Dinniman

69. “Target any healers within range” or “Target anyone who thinks it’s okay to put mayonnaise on hotdogs.”

— Matt Dinniman

70. “Sometimes, there are no surprises, and despite that, despite your intention to gird yourself against what’s about to come, it still hits you with the force of a kick to the stomach.”

— Matt Dinniman

71. “If that’s true,” I said, “then you’re all in that same pot.” I turned to look at the audience. “All of you. If a government is afraid of what its people say, then maybe there’s a reason for it.”

— Matt Dinniman

72. “Be careful who you’re nice to. Because if you are nice to the wrong person, they’ll either take advantage of you, or worse, they might never leave.”

— Matt Dinniman

73. “Zev says the shows on Earth are better than anything she’s ever seen. We could make new ones and bring them to the universe. Maybe if the television shows are good enough, people wouldn’t be so interested in watching real-life people kill each other,” she said.”

— Matt Dinniman

74. “Gordo leaned over the counter and made a face. “This is your manager?” “Yep,” I said. He shook his head sadly. “You two are so dead.”

— Matt Dinniman

75. “It takes a certain amount of desperation before people finally stop caring about their immediate futures and start to look at the long term.”

— Matt Dinniman

76. “But then they’ll just run away,” Donut said. “I’d run away if some crazy guy showed up at game night and pulled out a gun and said, ‘Let’s play Russian Roulette instead of spin the bottle.”

— Matt Dinniman

77. “She loved him. And because she loved him, she would protect him, even when he made mistakes.”

— Matt Dinniman

78. “So if you read this and enjoyed it, please review it. It’s against Amazon’s rules to offer a prize to those who review books, but I will risk Amazon’s wrath and offer my services to be the father of your babies if you post a review.”

— Matt Dinniman

79. “Carl. It’s too dangerous for a show to have guest stars that are more interesting than the main character. That’s why they killed Barb on Stranger Things.”

— Matt Dinniman

80. “NecroBard This unusual class combines one of the most-loved occupations with one of the most reviled.”

— Matt Dinniman

81. “Nothing is hopeless. Not until we’re truly dead.”

— Matt Dinniman

82. “Sergeant-at-Arms. “Well, that’s a lie, now isn’t it? It should just be Sergeant-at-Arm, not arms,” Donut quipped. “The next time we see him, I hope you rip his other arm off, Carl. Then he’ll just be a Sergeant.”

— Matt Dinniman

83. “There is no shame in wanting to be alone yet also wanting the comfort and the strength of your brethren.”

— Matt Dinniman