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Top 15 Matt Parker Quotes (2025 Update)

Matt Parker Quote: “Even when the data has made it into a database, it is not safe... which brings us, finally, to Microsoft Excel.”

1. “Even when the data has made it into a database, it is not safe... which brings us, finally, to Microsoft Excel.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Never forget you are the successful product of a harsh universe; the simple fact that you exist, whence trillions of other organisms do not, is a mathematical miracle.”

2. “Never forget you are the successful product of a harsh universe; the simple fact that you exist, whence trillions of other organisms do not, is a mathematical miracle.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Sadly, very little school maths focuses on how to win free drinks in a pub.”

3. “Sadly, very little school maths focuses on how to win free drinks in a pub.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “In February 2007, six F-22s were flying from Hawaii to Japan when all their systems crashed at once. All navigation systems went offline, the fuel systems went, and even some of the communication systems were out. This was not triggered by an enemy attack or clever sabotage. The aircraft had merely flown over the International Date Line.”

4. “In February 2007, six F-22s were flying from Hawaii to Japan when all their systems crashed at once. All navigation systems went offline, the fuel systems went, and even some of the communication systems were out. This was not triggered by an enemy attack or clever sabotage. The aircraft had merely flown over the International Date Line.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Even when we cannot see parts of the moon, they are still physically there. During a new moon, when it is completely lit from behind, it appears only as a black, starless circle in the sky. For while we sometimes cannot see the moon, it is still there as a silhouette. Which is why I get upset when a crescent moon is shown with stars visible through the middle of it!”

5. “Even when we cannot see parts of the moon, they are still physically there. During a new moon, when it is completely lit from behind, it appears only as a black, starless circle in the sky. For while we sometimes cannot see the moon, it is still there as a silhouette. Which is why I get upset when a crescent moon is shown with stars visible through the middle of it!”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “A million seconds from now is just shy of eleven days and fourteen hours. Not so bad. I could wait that long. It’s within two weeks. A billion seconds is over thirty-one years. A trillion seconds from now is after the year 33,700 CE.”

6. “A million seconds from now is just shy of eleven days and fourteen hours. Not so bad. I could wait that long. It’s within two weeks. A billion seconds is over thirty-one years. A trillion seconds from now is after the year 33,700 CE.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Humans instinctively perceive numbers logarithmically, not linearly. A young child or someone who has not been indoctrinated by education will place three halfway between one and nine.”

7. “Humans instinctively perceive numbers logarithmically, not linearly. A young child or someone who has not been indoctrinated by education will place three halfway between one and nine.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Because we all make mistakes. Relentlessly. And that is nothing to be feared.”

8. “Because we all make mistakes. Relentlessly. And that is nothing to be feared.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Your home, including it’s location, is an inanimate physical construct. Despite this fact, this brick and mortar affects the outcome of your life more than any other physical object you will ever encounter.”

9. “Your home, including it’s location, is an inanimate physical construct. Despite this fact, this brick and mortar affects the outcome of your life more than any other physical object you will ever encounter.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “If a new system is implemented, humans can be very resourceful when finding new ways to make mistakes.”

10. “If a new system is implemented, humans can be very resourceful when finding new ways to make mistakes.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Imagine the slices of cheese are horizontal and mistakes are raining down from the top. Only mistakes which fall down through holes in every layer make it out the bottom to become accidents. The new element is that the cheese slices themselves are hot and parts of them are liable to drip down, causing new problems.”

11. “Imagine the slices of cheese are horizontal and mistakes are raining down from the top. Only mistakes which fall down through holes in every layer make it out the bottom to become accidents. The new element is that the cheese slices themselves are hot and parts of them are liable to drip down, causing new problems.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “In the apothecaries’ system of weight units, a pound is divided into 12 ounces, which each consist of 8 drams. A dram is then 3 scruples, each made from 20 grains. I hope that made sense. A grain is one 5,760th of a pound. But not a normal pound: this is a troy pound. Which is different from a normal pound. And people wonder why the metric system was invented.”

12. “In the apothecaries’ system of weight units, a pound is divided into 12 ounces, which each consist of 8 drams. A dram is then 3 scruples, each made from 20 grains. I hope that made sense. A grain is one 5,760th of a pound. But not a normal pound: this is a troy pound. Which is different from a normal pound. And people wonder why the metric system was invented.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “So the signs remain incorrect. But at least now I have a framed letter from the UK government saying that they don’t think accurate math is important and they don’t believe street signs should have to follow the laws of geometry.”

13. “So the signs remain incorrect. But at least now I have a framed letter from the UK government saying that they don’t think accurate math is important and they don’t believe street signs should have to follow the laws of geometry.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “Even after a lifetime of education dealing with small numbers, there is a vestigial instinct that larger numbers are logarithmic; that the gap between a trillion and a billion feels about the same as the jump between a million and a billion – because both are a thousand times bigger. In reality, the jump to a trillion is much bigger: the difference between living to your early thirties and a time when humankind may no longer exist.”

14. “Even after a lifetime of education dealing with small numbers, there is a vestigial instinct that larger numbers are logarithmic; that the gap between a trillion and a billion feels about the same as the jump between a million and a billion – because both are a thousand times bigger. In reality, the jump to a trillion is much bigger: the difference between living to your early thirties and a time when humankind may no longer exist.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “It’s as if, behind our modern wizardry, Oz is revealed working overtime with an abacus and a slide rule. It’s only when something goes wrong that we suddenly have a sense of how far mathematics has let us climb – and how long the drop below might be.”

15. “It’s as if, behind our modern wizardry, Oz is revealed working overtime with an abacus and a slide rule. It’s only when something goes wrong that we suddenly have a sense of how far mathematics has let us climb – and how long the drop below might be.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “A laser ready to shoot financial data between cities. It holds the world record for the most boring laser ever.”

16. “A laser ready to shoot financial data between cities. It holds the world record for the most boring laser ever.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “If you ever have access to a friend’s phone, go into the settings and change their calendar to the Buddhist one. Suddenly, they’re living in the 2560s. Maybe try to convince them they have just woken up from a coma.”

17. “If you ever have access to a friend’s phone, go into the settings and change their calendar to the Buddhist one. Suddenly, they’re living in the 2560s. Maybe try to convince them they have just woken up from a coma.”

— Matt Parker

Matt Parker Quote: “I have no idea how stock traders respond to such an unexpected jump up; like some kind of anti-crash. I assume they jumped back in through windows and blew cocaine out of their noses.”

18. “I have no idea how stock traders respond to such an unexpected jump up; like some kind of anti-crash. I assume they jumped back in through windows and blew cocaine out of their noses.”

— Matt Parker

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