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Top 8 Melissa F. Olson Quotes (2025 Update)

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “It’s funny, but finding out that Hollywood movie monsters were real never shook my convictions. If God could create a platypus, why couldn’t he create a vampire? If AIDS could exist in God’s kingdom, why not lycanthropy?”

1. “It’s funny, but finding out that Hollywood movie monsters were real never shook my convictions. If God could create a platypus, why couldn’t he create a vampire? If AIDS could exist in God’s kingdom, why not lycanthropy?”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint!”

2. “Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint!”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “It wasn’t the greatest bargain I’d ever made, but I didn’t see a lot of alternatives, short of moving into Charlie’s bedroom or trying to convince John to move to Belize.”

3. “It wasn’t the greatest bargain I’d ever made, but I didn’t see a lot of alternatives, short of moving into Charlie’s bedroom or trying to convince John to move to Belize.”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “The third time I died was early on a Monday morning, a week after Labor Day.”

4. “The third time I died was early on a Monday morning, a week after Labor Day.”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “I’m like one of those rich society girls – ridiculously famous in certain circles but only for stupid reasons.”

5. “I’m like one of those rich society girls – ridiculously famous in certain circles but only for stupid reasons.”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “What happened?” I asked. “You fainted.” “I did not,” I said crossly. “Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint.”

6. “What happened?” I asked. “You fainted.” “I did not,” I said crossly. “Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint.”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “Sometimes I consider chopping my hair down to a nice manageable three inches, but I would miss it too much. It’s less useful and more confidence-boosting, like Superman’s cape.”

7. “Sometimes I consider chopping my hair down to a nice manageable three inches, but I would miss it too much. It’s less useful and more confidence-boosting, like Superman’s cape.”

— Melissa F. Olson

Melissa F. Olson Quote: “Killing someone in the middle of the sentence leaves a disturbing lack of closure.”

8. “Killing someone in the middle of the sentence leaves a disturbing lack of closure.”

— Melissa F. Olson

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