Top 30 Merrill Markoe Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “To find the right person, you must first BE the right person.”

— Merrill Markoe

2. “Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.”

— Merrill Markoe

3. “The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtimes and everything else.”

— Merrill Markoe

4. “Reality TV has managed to commodify everything we used to think of as the elements of normal life.”

— Merrill Markoe

5. “Whatever behavior you’ve experienced from people in the past, expect them to do it again and again and again.”

— Merrill Markoe

6. “Of the things I know to be true in life, right at the top of the list of irrefutable truths is, “No one ever listens to anyone.” It might even be No. 1.”

— Merrill Markoe

7. “I am deeply grateful for the life I do have. In many ways, I am very fortunate.”

— Merrill Markoe

8. “Beware the old man in young guy’s clothes. If he’s over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he’s headed for a skateboarding competition while you are dressed to go to a nice restaurant, this is not a good sign.”

— Merrill Markoe

9. “I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least the dog would be around to comfort them.”

— Merrill Markoe

10. “Beware the cute, hot guy who kind of reminds you of the parent you don’t get along with: your cold, distant father who left when you were a kid or your hot-tempered mother whom you could never please.”

— Merrill Markoe

11. “Beware the man who doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.”

— Merrill Markoe

12. “The whole narcissism and echo syndrome is usually the result of early childhood training. Those are very hard habits for anyone to break.”

— Merrill Markoe

13. “Men, as a general rule, shy away from therapy because there is no obvious way to keep score.”

— Merrill Markoe

14. “I don’t like the celebrity gossip culture, and I certainly don’t want to contribute to it. I don’t care about the Kardashians, or any of them.”

— Merrill Markoe

15. “Conversely, beware the man who does nothing but ask you questions about yourself and offers no information about himself. Not only is he keeping you at bay, he is probably not listening to your answers.”

— Merrill Markoe

16. “Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn’t work. So we joke about it.”

— Merrill Markoe

17. “They were soul mates, my mother and father. They claimed to adore each other, as if the word ‘adore’ meant ’argue with ceaselessly.”

— Merrill Markoe

18. “A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he’s got big issues.”

— Merrill Markoe

19. “When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn’t recognize their transparencies, it’s always funny.”

— Merrill Markoe

20. “I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.”

— Merrill Markoe

21. “Since – in my belief system – we each get only one go-round here on planet Earth, it is the task of the writer to interpret, examine, and reflect on the specifics of their one and only life experience.”

— Merrill Markoe

22. “Reality television is a scripted hyper-life that employs writers, but won’t allow them to call themselves writers or join the union.”

— Merrill Markoe

23. “You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.”

— Merrill Markoe

24. “The phrase “singular incredible life” seems to me that it applies more appropriately to Jane Goodall or David Attenborough, people I regard with awe and who stand for great humanism and knowledge.”

— Merrill Markoe

25. “My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.”

— Merrill Markoe

26. “Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness.”

— Merrill Markoe

27. “My dogs, the only creatures on the planet marked by my singular nurturing imprint, have all turned out to be rude and self-absorbed. In all likelihood, if they were children instead of dogs, I would have foisted more Charlie Sheens or Kardashians onto our crumbling culture.”

— Merrill Markoe

28. “I have learned that the stuff that causes me anxiety, the stuff I instinctively veer away from, is usually a road map to where my own creative growth can be found. So I consciously head toward the places that make me uncomfortable.”

— Merrill Markoe

29. “In a way, watching an attractive, potentially dangerous guy play guitar is a little like watching a tiger agree to do tricks for his trainer. You know that they could just turn and kill you. But you’re so flattered and pleased that instead they agreed to stand on a decorative box and wave and count for the crowd that for a while you forget how big the scary part of them really is.”

— Merrill Markoe

30. “As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on.”

— Merrill Markoe

31. “A more complex – but only slightly more original – way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.”

— Merrill Markoe

32. “I care about being creative and productive.”

— Merrill Markoe

33. “When you have been writing for a lot of years, you have to make an effort not to start repeating yourself. It occurred to me that I tended to tread certain ground automatically, because it was comfortable, but that there were areas I avoided automatically because they made me nervous.”

— Merrill Markoe

34. “I think people figure out early in their lives what currency they can work in.”

— Merrill Markoe