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Top 15 Michaeleen Doucleff Quotes (2025 Update)

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Togetherness is easy. It’s relaxing. It flows. It’s what happens when we all stop trying to control each other’s actions and simply let each other be.”

1. “Togetherness is easy. It’s relaxing. It flows. It’s what happens when we all stop trying to control each other’s actions and simply let each other be.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “They expect children to have poor executive function and poor emotional control, and they see it as their job to teach children these skills. Basically, when a child doesn’t listen or behave, the reason is simple: The child hasn’t learned that particular skill yet. And perhaps, they aren’t quite ready to learn it. So there’s no reason for a parent to get upset or angry.”

2. “They expect children to have poor executive function and poor emotional control, and they see it as their job to teach children these skills. Basically, when a child doesn’t listen or behave, the reason is simple: The child hasn’t learned that particular skill yet. And perhaps, they aren’t quite ready to learn it. So there’s no reason for a parent to get upset or angry.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Instead of “Put away your plate after dinner” or “Fold your laundry,” you’re framing the tasks as a communal activity, such as “Let’s all work together to clean up the kitchen after dinner” or “Let’s all help fold the laundry as a family.”

3. “Instead of “Put away your plate after dinner” or “Fold your laundry,” you’re framing the tasks as a communal activity, such as “Let’s all work together to clean up the kitchen after dinner” or “Let’s all help fold the laundry as a family.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “If a little child doesn’t listen, it’s because she is too young to understand. She is not ready for the lesson.”

4. “If a little child doesn’t listen, it’s because she is too young to understand. She is not ready for the lesson.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “With little kids, you often think they’re pushing your buttons, but that’s not what’s going on. They’re upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is.”

5. “With little kids, you often think they’re pushing your buttons, but that’s not what’s going on. They’re upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Whenever she wants to help, you let her?” I ask, still not understanding. “Even if she makes a giant mess?” “Yes. That is the way to teach children.”

6. “Whenever she wants to help, you let her?” I ask, still not understanding. “Even if she makes a giant mess?” “Yes. That is the way to teach children.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “This skill – of paying attention and then acting – is such an important value and goal for children that many families in Mexico have a term for it: it’s being acomedido. The idea is complex: It’s not just doing a chore or task because someone told you to; it’s knowing which kind of help is appropriate at a particular moment because you’re paying attention.”

7. “This skill – of paying attention and then acting – is such an important value and goal for children that many families in Mexico have a term for it: it’s being acomedido. The idea is complex: It’s not just doing a chore or task because someone told you to; it’s knowing which kind of help is appropriate at a particular moment because you’re paying attention.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “We’re training the child to cooperate, not to obey the parent. Part of working together is accepting a child’s preference when they choose not to help.”

8. “We’re training the child to cooperate, not to obey the parent. Part of working together is accepting a child’s preference when they choose not to help.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “In particular, our culture focuses almost entirely on one aspect of the parent-child relationship. That’s control – how much control the parent exerts over the child, and how much control the child tries to exert over the parent. The most common parenting “styles” all revolve around control. Helicopter parents exert maximal control. Free-range parents exert minimal. Our culture thinks either the adult is in control or the child is in control.”

9. “In particular, our culture focuses almost entirely on one aspect of the parent-child relationship. That’s control – how much control the parent exerts over the child, and how much control the child tries to exert over the parent. The most common parenting “styles” all revolve around control. Helicopter parents exert maximal control. Free-range parents exert minimal. Our culture thinks either the adult is in control or the child is in control.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “When you start to feel an unproductive emotion, such as anger, you can more easily swap that negative feeling for a positive one, such as awe. When you feel annoyance, you can swap it for gratitude.”

10. “When you start to feel an unproductive emotion, such as anger, you can more easily swap that negative feeling for a positive one, such as awe. When you feel annoyance, you can swap it for gratitude.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Parents don’t need to know how to play with kids. If we get kids involved in adult activities, that’s play for kids.” And then they associate chores with a fun, positive activity. They associate it with playing.”

11. “Parents don’t need to know how to play with kids. If we get kids involved in adult activities, that’s play for kids.” And then they associate chores with a fun, positive activity. They associate it with playing.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “The quality of our early family relationships is tied to whether we suffer from loneliness and social isolation as an adult. If a child feels nurtured by their parents and feels like they can count on them, then the child carries that with them for the rest of their lives.”

12. “The quality of our early family relationships is tied to whether we suffer from loneliness and social isolation as an adult. If a child feels nurtured by their parents and feels like they can count on them, then the child carries that with them for the rest of their lives.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “It’s not my job to entertain the children. It’s their job to be part of the team.”

13. “It’s not my job to entertain the children. It’s their job to be part of the team.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Sometimes I’ll say to Rosy, “Mango is hungry” or “Mango’s bowl is empty,” to teach her to pay attention to when the dog needs food.”

14. “Sometimes I’ll say to Rosy, “Mango is hungry” or “Mango’s bowl is empty,” to teach her to pay attention to when the dog needs food.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “We need to model calmness. We have to be regulating our own internal states first before we expect our children to learn to regulate theirs.”

15. “We need to model calmness. We have to be regulating our own internal states first before we expect our children to learn to regulate theirs.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Parents see this mess as an investment. If you encourage the incompetent toddler who really wants to do the dishes now, then over time, they’ll turn into the competent nine-year-old who still wants to help – and who can really make a difference.”

16. “Parents see this mess as an investment. If you encourage the incompetent toddler who really wants to do the dishes now, then over time, they’ll turn into the competent nine-year-old who still wants to help – and who can really make a difference.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff Quote: “Never before had the gap between my actual skill and the skill level I desired been so crushingly wide.”

17. “Never before had the gap between my actual skill and the skill level I desired been so crushingly wide.”

— Michaeleen Doucleff

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