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Top 10 Mike Harding Quotes (2025 Update)

Mike Harding Quote: “If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you’ve got in the house.”

1. “If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you’ve got in the house.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until people got tired of living in a place called “Vespuccia” and changed its name to “America””

2. “America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until people got tired of living in a place called “Vespuccia” and changed its name to “America””

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “The Ruffed Pandanga of Borneo and Rotherham spreads out his feathers in his courtship dance and imitates Winston Churchill and Tommy Cooper on one leg. The padanga is dying out because the female padanga doesn’t take it too seriously.”

3. “The Ruffed Pandanga of Borneo and Rotherham spreads out his feathers in his courtship dance and imitates Winston Churchill and Tommy Cooper on one leg. The padanga is dying out because the female padanga doesn’t take it too seriously.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.”

4. “The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “Bare Foot Folk and is full of really interesting songs, Ange Hardy takes folk tales and creates new folk songs that sound traditional around the story. This is one she’s called mother willow tree, it’s beautiful.”

5. “Bare Foot Folk and is full of really interesting songs, Ange Hardy takes folk tales and creates new folk songs that sound traditional around the story. This is one she’s called mother willow tree, it’s beautiful.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.”

6. “When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.”

7. “Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. Since this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of time he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog Eater.”

8. “The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. Since this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of time he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog Eater.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls asleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead...”

9. “If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls asleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead...”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant B ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K oln in 1653.”

10. “The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant B ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K oln in 1653.”

— Mike Harding

Mike Harding Quote: “Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.”

11. “Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.”

— Mike Harding

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