Top 35 Mo Rocca Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I’m feeling sentimental, I’ll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it.”

— Mo Rocca

2. “I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character – teaches people about leadership and cooperation.”

— Mo Rocca

3. “I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don’t know when to come down.”

— Mo Rocca

4. “Think of all that hard work our founding fathers put in – the revolutionizing, the three-fifths compromising, having to write the entire Constitution with a quill – and yet they neglected to include the right to vote.”

— Mo Rocca

5. “Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy.”

— Mo Rocca

6. “I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine’s Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine’s Day.”

— Mo Rocca

7. “One Christmas my father kept our tree up till March. He hated to see it go. I loved that.”

— Mo Rocca

8. “Wheel of Fortune was an important SAT prep for me.”

— Mo Rocca

9. “If I had a time machine I would go back 30 years and show up at my grandmother’s apartment before the gargantuan meals she would serve and I would help her.”

— Mo Rocca

10. “Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.”

— Mo Rocca

11. “I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie ‘Meet Me in St. Louis,’ office parties and cookies.”

— Mo Rocca

12. “Generally I get up at around 7. But oftentimes, I’ll be lolling in bed a little bit earlier – sometimes as early as 5:45 – filing in my mind all the things I have to get done. Which is, of course, totally unproductive.”

— Mo Rocca

13. “I’d rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special.”

— Mo Rocca

14. “I don’t think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn’t be voting. However, we shouldn’t be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups.”

— Mo Rocca

15. “I know a lot about a few things – mostly useless things.”

— Mo Rocca

16. “Did I end up finding a little blue pill to cure America’s electoral dysfunction? Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.”

— Mo Rocca

17. “I mean, you’re gonna be left behind if you don’t appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira.”

— Mo Rocca

18. “When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.”

— Mo Rocca

19. “I’m in fact a hair under six feet, but I’m very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways.”

— Mo Rocca

20. “Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.”

— Mo Rocca

21. “I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar.”

— Mo Rocca

22. “It’s interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears.”

— Mo Rocca

23. “Oh, this has got to be something humorus.”

— Mo Rocca

24. “Digital television, satellite radio, videogames, iPods – so much media. Do books even matter anymore?”

— Mo Rocca

25. “The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don’t think it’s funny, but you’re convinced that other people will think it is, well they won’t.”

— Mo Rocca

26. “Yes, I still love ‘South Park,’ but I also love morning TV now.”

— Mo Rocca

27. “I still don’t know how to cook and that’s just unacceptable.”

— Mo Rocca

28. “I was not a jock in high school. I know, you’re shocked.”

— Mo Rocca

29. “I’m always working on a few different stories at once, so there’s always some really big coffee table book I’m carrying around.”

— Mo Rocca

30. “While some of my closest friends were jocks, it seemed that they spoke a different language with each other. Joining in their conversation was fraught with risk.”

— Mo Rocca

31. “Homemade sweaters are always itchy.”

— Mo Rocca

32. “If there’s one thing that everyone can agree on, it’s that, right or wrong, they hate the press.”

— Mo Rocca

33. “It’s much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.”

— Mo Rocca

34. “My sophomore year I spent exactly one day on the JV football team. It was the tryout day.”

— Mo Rocca

35. “Look, not embracing the ‘Today’ show is soooo yesterday.”

— Mo Rocca