Top 40 Natasha Leggero Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.”

— Natasha Leggero

2. “Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?”

— Natasha Leggero

3. “The idea that you’re supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can’t.”

— Natasha Leggero

4. “I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.”

— Natasha Leggero

5. “All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.”

— Natasha Leggero

6. “Don’t be intimidated by my outfit, it’s Forever 21.”

— Natasha Leggero

7. “James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing – is there anything you can do?”

— Natasha Leggero

8. “Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It’s like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.”

— Natasha Leggero

9. “I’m not ‘one of the guys.’ I don’t want to pretend to be one on stage. I’m not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.”

— Natasha Leggero

10. “TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.”

— Natasha Leggero

11. “Pop culture, it’s crazy. There’s all this violence in video games. In ‘Call of Duty,’ people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let’s protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.”

— Natasha Leggero

12. “I’m not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise.”

— Natasha Leggero

13. “Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.”

— Natasha Leggero

14. “I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, ‘Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I’m home?’ And my mother said, ‘You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.’ And I said, ‘Yes, but you see, I’ve reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?’”

— Natasha Leggero

15. “I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.”

— Natasha Leggero

16. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”

— Natasha Leggero

17. “I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress – big difference.”

— Natasha Leggero

18. “Lovin this Ghost Ghirls! It was great to get to play a madame not just a boring prostitute.”

— Natasha Leggero

19. “I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.”

— Natasha Leggero

20. “Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.”

— Natasha Leggero

21. “If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber’s calf, he would’ve never started Christianity.”

— Natasha Leggero

22. “Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn’t think were funny. It’s important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself.”

— Natasha Leggero

23. “My friends who have babies can’t do anything. You can’t go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.”

— Natasha Leggero

24. “The more developed your abs, the less time you’ve spent reading.”

— Natasha Leggero

25. “How are you gonna make an ‘idol’ from the type of person you’re trying to avoid in real life?”

— Natasha Leggero

26. “The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ’s playlist.”

— Natasha Leggero

27. “There are different types of art, and you just have to follow where things take you. It helps me with my desire to perform live. That’s something that a lot of actors and actresses don’t get to experience on a regular basis.”

— Natasha Leggero

28. “Justin’s fan are called Beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.”

— Natasha Leggero

29. “College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.”

— Natasha Leggero

30. “I don’t see the point of watching men exercise.”

— Natasha Leggero

31. “Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.”

— Natasha Leggero

32. “I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.”

— Natasha Leggero

33. “The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.”

— Natasha Leggero

34. “I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.”

— Natasha Leggero

35. “The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it’s interesting terrain to talk about and expose.”

— Natasha Leggero

36. “In general, comedians are attracted to vice.”

— Natasha Leggero

37. “Doing TV is great, but TV is for starring on, not for watching.”

— Natasha Leggero

38. “It’s a human instinct to be known.”

— Natasha Leggero

39. “Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.”

— Natasha Leggero

40. “Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.”

— Natasha Leggero

41. “For comedians, we’re all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.”

— Natasha Leggero

42. “Male comics are always coming up to me and they’re like ‘Hey Natasha. Don’t you think you’re a little attractive to be a comedian?’ and I’m like ‘Don’t you think you’re a little ugly to be talking to me?’”

— Natasha Leggero

43. “Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?”

— Natasha Leggero