Top 120 Neil Strauss Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”

— Neil Strauss

2. “It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.”

— Neil Strauss

3. “Rapport equals trust plus comfort.”

— Neil Strauss

4. “Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.”

— Neil Strauss

5. “Life is more fun when you open your mouth.”

— Neil Strauss

6. “To get a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her.”

— Neil Strauss

7. “After all, everyone’s favorite subject is themselves.”

— Neil Strauss

8. “In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out.”

— Neil Strauss

9. “So if you remain loyal to people who abuse and mistreat you, that’s called trauma bonding. If you only feel normal if you’re doing something extreme or high-risk, that’s trauma arousal. If you’ve developed intense self-loathing, you’ve got trauma shame. If you find chemical, mental, or technological ways to numb yourself and your feelings, that’s trauma blocking.”

— Neil Strauss

10. “The strong live off the weak and the clever live off the strong.”

— Neil Strauss

11. “God is on the side of the winner.”

— Neil Strauss

12. “True endurance, I think, comes from the inside. It comes from motivation and belief in what you’re doing.”

— Neil Strauss

13. “It’s not lying, it’s flirting.”

— Neil Strauss

14. “You have to build systems to protect against your lesser self.”

— Neil Strauss

15. “Those who ask for help are often those who have failed to do something for themselves.”

— Neil Strauss

16. “On Seeing the 100 Percent Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning” by Haruki Murakami.”

— Neil Strauss

17. “A pick-up artist gave me a good piece of advice: the three most important things in a relationship are honesty, trust and respect, and if you don’t have those, you don’t have love.”

— Neil Strauss

18. “There is no such thing as fear,” Rasputin replied. “Emotions are just energy and motion that you trap inside your body because of a thought.” Mini-Clark.”

— Neil Strauss

19. “But who are we, really? Just a bundle of good genes and bad genes mixed with good habits and bad habits. And since there’s no gene for coolness or confidence, then being uncool and unconfident are just bad habits, which can be changed with enough guidance and will power.”

— Neil Strauss

20. “Attraction is not an option.”

— Neil Strauss

21. “I know that I need honesty from the people I interview. I also know that the truth is more interesting than made up stuff, and also, people don’t connect with you if you’re not honest.”

— Neil Strauss

22. “I’ve never trusted collaborations, because most people in this world are not closers. They don’t finish what they start; they don’t live what they dream; they sabotage their own progress because they’re afraid they won’t find what they seek.”

— Neil Strauss

23. “A good organizer is key to anyone with a busy social life.”

— Neil Strauss

24. “They say that when you meet someone and feel like it’s love at first sight, run in the other direction. All that’s happened is that your dysfunction has meshed with their dysfunction. Your wounded inner child has recognized their wounded inner child, both hoping to be healed by the same fire that burned them.”

— Neil Strauss

25. “If there was anything I’d learned, it’s that the man never chooses the woman. All he can do is give her an opportunity to choose him.”

— Neil Strauss

26. “There comes a time in a man’s life when he looks around and realizes he’s made a mess of everything. He’s dug a hole for himself so deep that not only can’t he get out, but he doesn’t even know which way is up anymore.”

— Neil Strauss

27. “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI. 12.”

— Neil Strauss

28. “Perhaps the people who hurt you the most when they leave are the ones you shouldn’t have been with anyway, because they do it without compassion.”

— Neil Strauss

29. “Life’s too short to be stuck in your own past.”

— Neil Strauss

30. “Because it’s so easy to medicate our need for self-worth by pandering to win followers, ‘likes’ and view counts, social media have become the metier of choice for many people who might otherwise channel that energy into books, music or art – or even into their own Web ventures.”

— Neil Strauss

31. “No matter what the situation may be, the right course of action is always compassion and love.”

— Neil Strauss

32. “NONVERSATION – noun: a conversation in which one person isn’t paying attention to what the other person is saying, generally due to lack of interest or being distracted.”

— Neil Strauss

33. “A lot of women – not all of them, a lot of them – feel insecure about men being men.”

— Neil Strauss

34. “In fact, every woman I met seemed disposable and replaceable. I was experiencing seducer’s paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed.”

— Neil Strauss

35. “Once you realize that most people are just like you – and that they’re actually seeking your approval – you’ll start to become socially fearless.”

— Neil Strauss

36. “That’s how hatred is created: two different groups, each insisting they’re on the moral high ground.”

— Neil Strauss

37. “What’s helped with saying no to others is asking myself first if I’m saying yes out of guilt or fear. If so, then it’s a polite no.”

— Neil Strauss

38. “People don’t come out for book events. They want to feel an emotion and be entertained.”

— Neil Strauss

39. “I discovered this when Cruise had his personal Scientology liaison bring a heavy red book to the table. He opened it to the Scientology code of honor, and we discussed it point by point – set a good example, fulfill your obligations, never need praise or approval or sympathy, don’t compromise your own reality. When.”

— Neil Strauss

40. “We make fun of those we’re most scared of becoming.”

— Neil Strauss

41. “In recent weeks, I’d figured out my own routine. It was a simple structure that allowed me to determine the direction in which I needed to take a girl: First, open. Then demonstrate higher value. Next, build rapport and an emotional connection. And, finally, create a physical connection.”

— Neil Strauss

42. “If I want true freedom, I need to accept that the path leading there is going to be one of discomfort and vulnerability.”

— Neil Strauss

43. “I wish she were receptive enough to discuss what I learned, but you can’t expect the same person who wounded you to heal you. So.”

— Neil Strauss

44. “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life.”

— Neil Strauss

45. “A rich man doesn’t need to tell you he’s rich.”

— Neil Strauss

46. “The sins of the parents are the destinies of their children. Unless the children wake up and do something about it.”

— Neil Strauss

47. “I had violated one of Ross Jeffries’s only ethical rule of seduction: Leave her better than you found her.”

— Neil Strauss

48. “The number one characteristic of an alpha male is the smile,” he said, beaming an artificial beam. “Smile when you enter a room. As soon as you walk in a club, the game is on. And by smiling, you look like you’re together, you’re fun, and you’re somebody.”

— Neil Strauss

49. “The good thing is that women have such high expectations of men that it inspires us to live up to them. That’s what I learned about male-female relationships.”

— Neil Strauss

50. “Never ask a woman if you may kiss her. Instead, learn to read body language.”

— Neil Strauss