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Top 20 Oliver Gaspirtz Quotes (2025 Update)

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “You only live once, so enjoy the ride.”

1. “You only live once, so enjoy the ride.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Getting life insurance is like making a bet you can’t win. If you live, you don’t get the money. If you die, you don’t get to enjoy the money.”

2. “Getting life insurance is like making a bet you can’t win. If you live, you don’t get the money. If you die, you don’t get to enjoy the money.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Good things you have to make happen. Bad things happen all by themselves.”

3. “Good things you have to make happen. Bad things happen all by themselves.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Life is like the ocean. You can either be the ball floating on the waves, or make your own waves.”

4. “Life is like the ocean. You can either be the ball floating on the waves, or make your own waves.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Happy Endings are an illusion. Real life is filled with brief moments of fleeting happiness, but ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in death and grief.”

5. “Happy Endings are an illusion. Real life is filled with brief moments of fleeting happiness, but ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in death and grief.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Heaven is a place where all the dogs you’ve ever loved come to greet you.”

6. “Heaven is a place where all the dogs you’ve ever loved come to greet you.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.” -Mark Twain.”

7. “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.” -Mark Twain.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.”

8. “Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Democracy’s fatal flaw: There are more dumb people than smart people. Welcome to the new Dark Ages!”

9. “Democracy’s fatal flaw: There are more dumb people than smart people. Welcome to the new Dark Ages!”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “It’s better to dance like a fool, than to stand around like an idiot.”

10. “It’s better to dance like a fool, than to stand around like an idiot.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “A fish tank is just interactive television for cats.”

11. “A fish tank is just interactive television for cats.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “A cow’s heaven is a flower’s idea of hell.”

12. “A cow’s heaven is a flower’s idea of hell.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.”

13. “Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Guns make small men feel big.”

14. “Guns make small men feel big.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Some guys like to undermine a girl’s self-esteem with little verbal jabs. Eventually it all adds up. One bee sting doesn’t hurt a horse, but enough bee stings can kill a horse.”

15. “Some guys like to undermine a girl’s self-esteem with little verbal jabs. Eventually it all adds up. One bee sting doesn’t hurt a horse, but enough bee stings can kill a horse.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Books like Twilight are not art. They are mass-produced crap that is meant to be consumed by the widest possible audience, for the largest possible profit.”

16. “Books like Twilight are not art. They are mass-produced crap that is meant to be consumed by the widest possible audience, for the largest possible profit.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Dogs are angels full of poop.”

17. “Dogs are angels full of poop.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Ordinary people are products of their environment and fit in. Artists transcend their environment and stand out.”

18. “Ordinary people are products of their environment and fit in. Artists transcend their environment and stand out.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “How love works: Proximity leads to intimacy, and intimacy leads to a relationship. In other words, people who are around each other a lot, get close, and end up hooking up. So it’s no great mystery why bosses and secretaries or co-workers or classmates end up dating each other.”

19. “How love works: Proximity leads to intimacy, and intimacy leads to a relationship. In other words, people who are around each other a lot, get close, and end up hooking up. So it’s no great mystery why bosses and secretaries or co-workers or classmates end up dating each other.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Featured in: Romance Quotes

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “58 percent of the questioned residents still trust the police to do “the right thing” while only about 10 to 15 percent trust the government officials and politicians.”

20. “58 percent of the questioned residents still trust the police to do “the right thing” while only about 10 to 15 percent trust the government officials and politicians.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Quote: “Dingleberries:.”

21. “Dingleberries:.”

— Oliver Gaspirtz

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