Top 70 Onley James Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “I’m the monster other monsters fear.”

— Onley James

2. “I am the smart one. I have papers to prove it and everything.”

— Onley James

3. “I licked it so it’s mine’ isn’t a thing in dating.”

— Onley James

4. “One man’s torture is another man’s kink.”

— Onley James

5. “Sometimes the only way out is through’?”

— Onley James

6. “You’re gonna leave me alone and let me go. You’re going to forget my name the way I’m going to forget yours.”

— Onley James

7. “This isn’t a game. I don’t play games. If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it. Honestly, if I said half the things I think when I look at you, you’d run screaming into the night.”

— Onley James

8. “The key isn’t turning off your feelings, the key is to focus on your needs. Be selfish. Care only about what you want. Let go of your fear. Be a bit of a hedonist. Do the deep, dark things you think about in your mind but would never dare say out loud to anybody. Do it and don’t apologize for it.”

— Onley James

9. “Feed me pancakes and tell me I’m pretty.”

— Onley James

10. “Even the ones who were gay were so deep in the closet they were frolicking with woodland creatures in Narnia.”

— Onley James

11. “I think Sarah’s being a bit of a drama queen. Like, Jareth is laying out a pretty solid offer. I mean, she’s the one who sacrificed her own brother during a temper tantrum. How’s he the bad guy?”

— Onley James

12. “You can’t just tie me to the bed every time I do something you don’t like,” Noah chided, breath leaving in a rush as Adam sank into him in one thrust. “Oh, we both know that’s not true,” Adam crooned against Noah’s ear. “I can do whatever I want to you in here.”

— Onley James

13. “How do you raise a house full of psychopaths, Dr. Mulvaney?” she asked, looking back through the glass at the small boy. “Very carefully, Dr. Arbor. Very carefully.”

— Onley James

14. “I can relate to that,” August said. “Imagine being the weirdest psychopath in a house full of psychopaths.”

— Onley James

15. “I’m starting to think the Watch isn’t a real place, like Hogwarts, or Dr. X’s academy for mutants,” Adam said. “Tell the truth, you’re just living in the desert getting high all the time and spinning these elaborate fairy tales about psychopathic Gen Zs.”

— Onley James

16. “I’m a psychopath,” Atticus blurted. The stranger leaned forward, his whisper conspiratorial. “I’m a Scorpio. I still like banging dudes.”

— Onley James

17. “Why do I even bother to say things like ‘no mistakes’?” Thomas asked over the speaker of August’s truck, then sighed. “It’s like you boys take it as a personal challenge.”

— Onley James

18. “Priorities, guys. First, we take care of these losers, then we Parent Trap Thomas and Aiden,” Noah said.”

— Onley James

19. “He’d been in a dating slump since his brothers had decided to start mating for life like psychotic penguins.”

— Onley James

20. “Yeah, but the difference is I’m Gen Z, pal. We can’t wait to die. Can you say the same?”

— Onley James

21. “Are you going to hurt me?” Noah asked, voice almost hopeful. Adam scanned his face for a long moment. “Probably, yeah. But you might like it.”

— Onley James

22. “They don’t call it getting pickled for nothing.” He looked to his father. “The key is to never get sober. You have to make your organs afraid. Make them work with the booze, not against it.”

— Onley James

23. “Listen,” Noah said, using that voice he saved for psychopathic temper tantrums. “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t kill you to give the guy a chance.” There was a pause, then he said, “Unless this guy would, like, potentially kill you or something, which, honestly, in this family isn’t exactly a deal breaker.” Archer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Thank you. This has not been at all helpful.” “Just remember, you need someone whose crazy is the opposite of yours.”

— Onley James

24. “Adam was nobody. A carefully crafted lie, raised specifically to right the wrongs of others. A lie he had executed so well that, sometimes, even he believed it.”

— Onley James

25. “You’re not going to lecture me on drinking my problems away?” Noah asked. “No. If this is what you need to cope, then I’ll keep you safe while you do it.”

— Onley James

26. “The truth was, the Mulvaneys weren’t killers, they were karma.”

— Onley James

27. “Sometimes, Felix felt bad for Avi. He was kind of like a cyborg trying to figure out human emotions that nobody had programmed into him.”

— Onley James

28. “We live very dangerous lives. If we don’t jump on the things we want when we want them, we might never get to.”

— Onley James

29. “The idea of Noah getting beat up caused a strange feeling to fill his chest. “I will disembowel anybody who so much as messes up your hair.” Noah pretended to swoon. “Who says romance is dead?”

— Onley James

30. “We spoiled you rotten. You never had to go to school. Wayne taught you himself. You got cake for breakfast and all the toys you could play with. All you had to do was ask for it, and we happily complied. Was the trade-off really that bad?” Noah swallowed the bile climbing up his throat. “Yes. Killing me would have been kinder.”

— Onley James

31. “You like mom cars and bow-ties and submitting in bed. I’m here for it.”

— Onley James

32. “Because I knew, even then I think, that I could love you, but I wasn’t sure I could ever break down your walls enough to get you to love me.”

— Onley James

33. “Bowie blushed. “You have more red flags than a car dealership.”

— Onley James

34. “No circus animals. No permanent damage. You can’t pee on me.” Adam barked out a laugh. “What?” “It’s a thing. Oh, and no spitting in my mouth. That’s a hard limit.”

— Onley James

35. “Felix was jealous. Felix wanted him so much he’d started sabotaging his hookups. That was an amazing development. Even if it did mean people thought Avi took a love of equestrianism way too far.”

— Onley James

36. “He could decorate a stadium with all the red flags August had waved.”

— Onley James

37. “You made a split-second decision to murder three people?” Wyatt asked, eyes wide as he looked to Linc. “You should introduce him to Shepherd. They’d get along so well.”

— Onley James

38. “The whole psych department is batshit crazy. He’ll fit right in.”

— Onley James

39. “But, instead, you get to kill twenty guys during the day, with your brothers, as a family,” August said. “Other families just have barbeques,” Archer said, tone dripping with sarcasm.”

— Onley James

40. “Teach them how to direct their rage towards those who deserve it.” “Deserve it?” she echoed. “You’re teaching them to be monsters?” “Of course not. They’re already monsters.”

— Onley James

41. “Has it ever occurred to you that I did you all a favor by never applying myself?” Atticus snorted. “How so?” Adam grinned. “I half-ass everything and still rise to the top. Imagine if I was using my full potential. I’d leave both of you in the dust. I’m the black sheep by choice.”

— Onley James

42. “There wasn’t even a trace of humor. August Mulvaney – a killer he’d known less than three days – was sitting at his table casually talking about how he had settled on Lucas someday becoming his husband.”

— Onley James

43. “Adam woke with his arms around Noah, his body tucked snuggly against him. He was small compared to Adam’s six foot two, but he fit perfectly, allowing Adam to all but envelop him when they spooned. He liked the idea of people having to go through him to get to Noah. It was a foreign concept. He didn’t know how to describe it. From the moment he’d seen him standing there, holding that gun on him, Adam had just known he wasn’t going to let him go.”

— Onley James

44. “It’s no different from the others. Everybody in this family is nuts. It’s just finding someone whose crazy matches your own.”

— Onley James

45. “I’m kidding, babe. So, you’re a sociopath. All relationships have issues. It could be worse. You could be a republican.” “I am a republican,” Shep said, keeping his face neutral.”

— Onley James

46. “Avi could feel the grin spreading across his face. “You stabbed Levi because he was mean to you during your Driver’s Ed class?” Felix tilted his head, eyes glittering. “Yeah. And if you make fun of the fact that I can’t drive, I’ll stab you, too.” Avi opened Felix’s door for him, leaning in when he passed to say, “Don’t threaten me with a good time, kitten.”

— Onley James

47. “That sounded like a fairy tale. A story much too good to be true. “Not everyone gets happily ever after.” “Maybe so, but I’ll die trying to make sure you get yours,” Arsen said.”

— Onley James

48. “Just you. My brain has picked you, and now, I can’t undo it. You’re trapped. With me. For life.”

— Onley James

49. “I hate to ruin your night, pastor, but every damn one of us is gayer than the Tony Awards.”

— Onley James

50. “He threaded his fingers into Zane’s hair, yanking his head back until he hissed. “You lose.” Zane gave a soft laugh. “Do I, though?”

— Onley James