Top 70 Onley James Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “I’m the monster other monsters fear.”

— Onley James

2. “I am the smart one. I have papers to prove it and everything.”

— Onley James

3. “I licked it so it’s mine’ isn’t a thing in dating.”

— Onley James

4. “One man’s torture is another man’s kink.”

— Onley James

5. “Sometimes the only way out is through’?”

— Onley James

6. “This isn’t a game. I don’t play games. If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it. Honestly, if I said half the things I think when I look at you, you’d run screaming into the night.”

— Onley James

7. “You’re gonna leave me alone and let me go. You’re going to forget my name the way I’m going to forget yours.”

— Onley James

8. “The key isn’t turning off your feelings, the key is to focus on your needs. Be selfish. Care only about what you want. Let go of your fear. Be a bit of a hedonist. Do the deep, dark things you think about in your mind but would never dare say out loud to anybody. Do it and don’t apologize for it.”

— Onley James

9. “Feed me pancakes and tell me I’m pretty.”

— Onley James

10. “Even the ones who were gay were so deep in the closet they were frolicking with woodland creatures in Narnia.”

— Onley James

11. “You can’t just tie me to the bed every time I do something you don’t like,” Noah chided, breath leaving in a rush as Adam sank into him in one thrust. “Oh, we both know that’s not true,” Adam crooned against Noah’s ear. “I can do whatever I want to you in here.”

— Onley James

12. “How do you raise a house full of psychopaths, Dr. Mulvaney?” she asked, looking back through the glass at the small boy. “Very carefully, Dr. Arbor. Very carefully.”

— Onley James

13. “I can relate to that,” August said. “Imagine being the weirdest psychopath in a house full of psychopaths.”

— Onley James

14. “I’m starting to think the Watch isn’t a real place, like Hogwarts, or Dr. X’s academy for mutants,” Adam said. “Tell the truth, you’re just living in the desert getting high all the time and spinning these elaborate fairy tales about psychopathic Gen Zs.”

— Onley James

15. “I’m a psychopath,” Atticus blurted. The stranger leaned forward, his whisper conspiratorial. “I’m a Scorpio. I still like banging dudes.”

— Onley James

16. “I think Sarah’s being a bit of a drama queen. Like, Jareth is laying out a pretty solid offer. I mean, she’s the one who sacrificed her own brother during a temper tantrum. How’s he the bad guy?”

— Onley James

17. “Why do I even bother to say things like ‘no mistakes’?” Thomas asked over the speaker of August’s truck, then sighed. “It’s like you boys take it as a personal challenge.”

— Onley James

18. “Priorities, guys. First, we take care of these losers, then we Parent Trap Thomas and Aiden,” Noah said.”

— Onley James

19. “He’d been in a dating slump since his brothers had decided to start mating for life like psychotic penguins.”

— Onley James

20. “They don’t call it getting pickled for nothing.” He looked to his father. “The key is to never get sober. You have to make your organs afraid. Make them work with the booze, not against it.”

— Onley James

21. “Listen,” Noah said, using that voice he saved for psychopathic temper tantrums. “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t kill you to give the guy a chance.” There was a pause, then he said, “Unless this guy would, like, potentially kill you or something, which, honestly, in this family isn’t exactly a deal breaker.” Archer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Thank you. This has not been at all helpful.” “Just remember, you need someone whose crazy is the opposite of yours.”

— Onley James

22. “Adam was nobody. A carefully crafted lie, raised specifically to right the wrongs of others. A lie he had executed so well that, sometimes, even he believed it.”

— Onley James

23. “You’re not going to lecture me on drinking my problems away?” Noah asked. “No. If this is what you need to cope, then I’ll keep you safe while you do it.”

— Onley James

24. “The truth was, the Mulvaneys weren’t killers, they were karma.”

— Onley James

25. “Avi gave a delighted laugh. “You can’t move. You’re my hostage. My snuggle hostage.” “How are you a cold-blooded killer?” Felix asked, exasperated. “My love of murder doesn’t have anything to do with my capacity for cuddles. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

— Onley James

26. “If I could kill you, I would, but, somehow, you would manage to take a piece of me with you.”

— Onley James

27. “Sometimes, Felix felt bad for Avi. He was kind of like a cyborg trying to figure out human emotions that nobody had programmed into him.”

— Onley James

28. “We live very dangerous lives. If we don’t jump on the things we want when we want them, we might never get to.”

— Onley James

29. “The idea of Noah getting beat up caused a strange feeling to fill his chest. “I will disembowel anybody who so much as messes up your hair.” Noah pretended to swoon. “Who says romance is dead?”

— Onley James

30. “We spoiled you rotten. You never had to go to school. Wayne taught you himself. You got cake for breakfast and all the toys you could play with. All you had to do was ask for it, and we happily complied. Was the trade-off really that bad?” Noah swallowed the bile climbing up his throat. “Yes. Killing me would have been kinder.”

— Onley James

31. “You like mom cars and bow-ties and submitting in bed. I’m here for it.”

— Onley James

32. “Because I knew, even then I think, that I could love you, but I wasn’t sure I could ever break down your walls enough to get you to love me.”

— Onley James

33. “Bowie blushed. “You have more red flags than a car dealership.”

— Onley James

34. “No circus animals. No permanent damage. You can’t pee on me.” Adam barked out a laugh. “What?” “It’s a thing. Oh, and no spitting in my mouth. That’s a hard limit.”

— Onley James

35. “Felix was jealous. Felix wanted him so much he’d started sabotaging his hookups. That was an amazing development. Even if it did mean people thought Avi took a love of equestrianism way too far.”

— Onley James

36. “Yeah, but the difference is I’m Gen Z, pal. We can’t wait to die. Can you say the same?”

— Onley James

37. “Are you going to hurt me?” Noah asked, voice almost hopeful. Adam scanned his face for a long moment. “Probably, yeah. But you might like it.”

— Onley James

38. “I’m kidding, babe. So, you’re a sociopath. All relationships have issues. It could be worse. You could be a republican.” “I am a republican,” Shep said, keeping his face neutral.”

— Onley James

39. “Avi could feel the grin spreading across his face. “You stabbed Levi because he was mean to you during your Driver’s Ed class?” Felix tilted his head, eyes glittering. “Yeah. And if you make fun of the fact that I can’t drive, I’ll stab you, too.” Avi opened Felix’s door for him, leaning in when he passed to say, “Don’t threaten me with a good time, kitten.”

— Onley James

40. “That sounded like a fairy tale. A story much too good to be true. “Not everyone gets happily ever after.” “Maybe so, but I’ll die trying to make sure you get yours,” Arsen said.”

— Onley James

41. “Just you. My brain has picked you, and now, I can’t undo it. You’re trapped. With me. For life.”

— Onley James

42. “I hate to ruin your night, pastor, but every damn one of us is gayer than the Tony Awards.”

— Onley James

43. “He threaded his fingers into Zane’s hair, yanking his head back until he hissed. “You lose.” Zane gave a soft laugh. “Do I, though?”

— Onley James

44. “You like teddy bears, Glasses?” “You like being involuntarily committed?” Soren chuckled. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

— Onley James

45. “Nobody knew what it was about Adam and Noah that they recognized in each other, but it had to be something nobody else possessed, because if Noah left Adam, Avi was pretty sure Adam would burn everything down.”

— Onley James

46. “Life isn’t meant to be lived in moderation.”

— Onley James

47. “He needed Javier to be the calm one so that he could freak out. They couldn’t both be freaking out at the same time. Somebody had to drive this struggle bus.”

— Onley James

48. “The boy was his now, and that felt like it needed a gesture with weight. A ritual. A sacrifice. Elijah deserved that. He deserved the justice he’d spoken of earlier and Shep would give it to him. Hell, he’d hunt down the man who hurt Elijah and carve out his still-beating heart if that’s what Elijah needed to feel safe at night.”

— Onley James

49. “I will never be done with you,” Adam promised. Noah shook his head. “You can’t promise that. We’re strangers. You know nothing about me.” “I know you’re mine. I know it. Deep down, in that part of my brain that doesn’t care what is right or how society dictates how people choose a mate. I chose you. I want you.”

— Onley James

50. “O-kay,” Noah said, dragging everyone’s attention away from Avi and Felix. “That was both uncomfortable and highly disturbing, so kudos for that, but how about we get rid of the soon-to-be rotting corpse and figure out what we’re going to do about Dr. McCreepypants and his little shop of hospital horrors? Sound good? Great.”

— Onley James