Top 200 Penn Jillette Quotes (2026 Update)
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151. “In any conflict, the crazier party generally wins.”

— Penn Jillette

152. “My hair is way, way long. I’ve hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I’ve ridden in every car. I was never a hippie. It takes more than long hair.”

— Penn Jillette

153. “From 1985 to 1994, I lived in Manhattan in a big old loft right off Times Square. I could walk to work, which was in a couple of Broadway theaters, to Howard Stern’s studio, and to 30 Rock for ‘Letterman’ and ‘SNL.’ Even in New York, walking to work is homey and folksy, like living in a small town.”

— Penn Jillette

154. “I don’t believe the majority always knows what’s best for everyone.”

— Penn Jillette

155. “Counterintuitive actions prove we can trust real knowledge and do the opposite of what we feel makes sense.”

— Penn Jillette

156. “It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more.”

— Penn Jillette

157. “I like things matching. I have an upright bass, a drum kit and a grand piano that’s the same color. I tend to overthink things.”

— Penn Jillette

158. “I don’t speak for all Libertarians any more than Sean Penn speaks for all Democrats.”

— Penn Jillette

159. “I get along so much better with fundamentalist Christians than I do with wishy-washy liberals, who want everyone to get along.”

— Penn Jillette

160. “Comedy is taken care of by a free market.”

— Penn Jillette

161. “I was always a little embarrassed when there was an act on television that requires a great deal of skill but is a little goofy, and the host comes over and acts like the person doing this skill is some sort of fool for having learned to do something that’s very, very difficult.”

— Penn Jillette

162. “There is no reason for the government to limit political speech.”

— Penn Jillette

163. “There are performers who have built their whole career doing magic on TV and can’t really perform live at all – don’t really have jobs and skills.”

— Penn Jillette

164. “I didn’t learn fire-eating to conquer my fears. I learned fire-eating because I desperately wanted to be in show business.”

— Penn Jillette

165. “If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won’t be around drugs and alcohol at all.”

— Penn Jillette

166. “Don’t waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it’ll make you bugnutty.”

— Penn Jillette

167. “There should be an ease and clarity to anything that’s real and from the heart. Things that are true shouldn’t have tricks.”

— Penn Jillette

168. “To drive a car in rural America is freedom. Before I had a car, I’d never seen a rock and roll show, I’d never seen a comic or a show.”

— Penn Jillette

169. “The vast majority of the world knows there’s no reason to circumcise. Someone should tell the doctors.”

— Penn Jillette

170. “Meeting our audiences, or at least the members of the audience who would like to meet us, makes us different from other entertainers. We aren’t scared of our audiences. We’ve learned that the crowds that other entertainers might hate – the quiet crowds – include many people who are loving the show. I love quiet crowds now; I don’t see them as lacking enthusiasm, I see them as paying attention. We’ve learned that a joke that didn’t get a loud laugh might be someone’s favorite line.”

— Penn Jillette

171. “Asking someone else to do something immoral is immoral.”

— Penn Jillette

172. “Someone who is a good person should have no fear of the government whatsoever.”

— Penn Jillette

173. “Modern American magic, late 20th century magic, is tremendously disrespectful of the audience.”

— Penn Jillette

174. “I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the rules.”

— Penn Jillette

175. “If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn’t have stumbled my way through ‘Dancing with the Stars.’”

— Penn Jillette

176. “Life speeds by and no matter how much joy there is, there is sadness.”

— Penn Jillette

177. “The fact is that violence gives you a rush.”

— Penn Jillette

178. “Technology adds nothing to art.”

— Penn Jillette

179. “I think the media spends a lot of time fooling itself.”

— Penn Jillette

180. “Well, it’s not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I’ll spend to find out how to get people more of it.”

— Penn Jillette

181. “Read everything and be kind.”

— Penn Jillette

182. “Everybody prefers to see a nut – they’re more fascinating.”

— Penn Jillette

183. “Charities are really good. To a certain extent, the ones you pick are arbitrary.”

— Penn Jillette

184. “I like movies that are scary, but I don’t want them to be dirt dumb. I want a movie that gets my blood racing, makes me laugh, but also gives me something to think about, with maybe a little sexy thrown in. Hollywood doesn’t make movies like that.”

— Penn Jillette

185. “How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.”

— Penn Jillette

186. “For the most part, any serious magic show is not using very much technology newer than theatrical lights.”

— Penn Jillette

187. “The best way to fight the terrorists is to have the freest country on earth. You should be able to get on an airplane, and people – that will not possibly happen again.”

— Penn Jillette

188. “Make deals with people, not paper.”

— Penn Jillette

189. “America was founded on Christians not trusting each other, and they sometimes seemed more willing to reach out to the godless than to someone from another sect.”

— Penn Jillette

190. “This is going to sound horrible, but I don’t even know how much I make in a year. It must be, you know, a couple of million dollars, a few million. I know it’s more money than my dad, a jail guard, made in his lifetime; more money than I’ll ever need.”

— Penn Jillette

191. “Poker would have never gotten on TV when we only had three networks.”

— Penn Jillette

192. “We aren’t people who believe that just because we’re performers our opinions on everything need to be known.”

— Penn Jillette

193. “Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the art and entertainment that’s available.”

— Penn Jillette

194. “When I buy Windows 98, I’m not only buying something useful, I’m giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.”

— Penn Jillette

195. “The only difference between Obama and Bush is that Obama is killing more people. He’s about double the numbers now. Can you imagine if McCain had won and did precisely what Obama has done, with every speech and every political maneuver overseas? There’d be riots in the streets about the people we’re killing. And yet because it’s Obama, and he’s better looking and better at reading the teleprompter, we let him get away with it.”

— Penn Jillette

196. “There never was a God. ‘God is dead’ is a halfway measure I won’t go with.”

— Penn Jillette

197. “I’ve never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.”

— Penn Jillette

198. “A lot of people, to attack an outspoken atheist, one of the things they’ll do is say, ‘You are as bad as the fundamentalist Christians.’ And my answer is always, ‘I hope so.’”

— Penn Jillette

199. “I’m always fascinated by the use of the first-person plural talking about sports.”

— Penn Jillette

200. “Magic is the Special Olympics of entertainment.”

— Penn Jillette