Top 200 Penn Jillette Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “You get no moral credit for forcing other people to do what you think is right.”

— Penn Jillette

2. “Luck is statistics taken personally.”

— Penn Jillette

3. “The end never justifies the means because there is no end; there are only means.”

— Penn Jillette

4. “Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That’s not morality, that’s sucking up.”

— Penn Jillette

5. “God works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways.”

— Penn Jillette

6. “World War II proves there’s no God.”

— Penn Jillette

7. “We are only here for a little while, and our bodies belong to ourselves and no one else.”

— Penn Jillette

8. “Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality. Morality is not bribery or threats. Religion is bribery and threats. Humans have morality. We don’t need religion.”

— Penn Jillette

9. “Religion cannot and should not be replaced by atheism. Religion needs to go away and not be replaced by anything. Atheism is not a religion. It’s the absence of religion, and that’s a wonderful thing.”

— Penn Jillette

10. “Two things have always been true about human beings. One, the world is always getting better. Two, the people living at that time think it’s getting worse.”

— Penn Jillette

11. “This I believe: I believe there is no God.”

— Penn Jillette

12. “Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It’s just ganging up against the weird kid, and I’m always the weird kid.”

— Penn Jillette

13. “My whole take on libertarianism is simply that I don’t know what’s best for other people.”

— Penn Jillette

14. “Direct confrontation, direct conversation is real respect. And it’s amazing how many people get that.”

— Penn Jillette

15. “Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.”

— Penn Jillette

16. “Everybody is designing magic iPhone apps that do things that are really, really beautiful, but a really important thing about magic is that the gimmick has to be ugly.”

— Penn Jillette

17. “Tolerance is you saying something crazy and me smiling and saying, ‘That’s nice.’”

— Penn Jillette

18. “Everyone’s goals are the same with very small differences. I mean, the goal of a socialist and the goal of a libertarian are exactly the same. The goals are happiness and security and freedom, and you balance those.”

— Penn Jillette

19. “I love the idea that horror and fear is a celebration of health and life.”

— Penn Jillette

20. “You have to be careful as a libertarian because you can sound very Republican.”

— Penn Jillette

21. “The purpose of art is to collide the intellectual and visceral together at the highest speed possible.”

— Penn Jillette

22. “The highest ideals are human intelligence, creativity and love. Respect these above all.”

— Penn Jillette

23. “Everyday is an atheist holiday.”

— Penn Jillette

24. “I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that.”

— Penn Jillette

25. “A famous monk once said, I don’t always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.”

— Penn Jillette

26. “Cars mean nothing to me. I’m not a car guy.”

— Penn Jillette

27. “Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people.”

— Penn Jillette

28. “If there’s something you really want to believe, that’s what you should question the most.”

— Penn Jillette

29. “How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize?”

— Penn Jillette

30. “People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed, and sheltered, and if we’re compassionate we’ll help them, but you get no moral credit for forcing other people to do what you think is right. There is great joy in helping people, but no joy in doing it at gunpoint.”

— Penn Jillette

31. “I think voting for the lesser of two evils in game theory always leads to more evil.”

— Penn Jillette

32. “I’m an amazing mama’s boy.”

— Penn Jillette

33. “Love and respect all people. Hate and destroy all faith.”

— Penn Jillette

34. “When someone is trying to interpret something for you, they always have an agenda.”

— Penn Jillette

35. “There are two things that have been true throughout history in big hunks. You can find differences in ten years, but in 50 year hunks, 100 years hunks, you’ll find two things to be true. One, the world is always getting better. Two, people always think it’s getting worse.”

— Penn Jillette

36. “Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That’s cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it goes so far beyond cool. All I can think is 12 magicians, two carnies.”

— Penn Jillette

37. “Believing there’s no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I’m wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate.”

— Penn Jillette

38. “A joke is a way to say, ‘I’m going to do something funny now. If I don’t get a laugh at the end, I’m a failure.’”

— Penn Jillette

39. “Mentally ill people come from all belief systems.”

— Penn Jillette

40. “Every poker player is smarter than me.”

— Penn Jillette

41. “One of the strongest feelings you can get in life – one of the most rewarding feelings – is the feeling of an “Aha, I finally understand.””

— Penn Jillette

42. “Thou shalt not take anything on faith.”

— Penn Jillette

43. “When you tell other people to do stuff they don’t know how to do, they tend to freak out.”

— Penn Jillette

44. “Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.”

— Penn Jillette

45. “So many people say, ‘You know, your taxes aren’t taken by force,’ and that’s foolish. If you don’t pay your taxes and you don’t answer the warrant and you don’t go to court, eventually someone will pull a gun. Eventually someone with a gun will show up.”

— Penn Jillette

46. “Exploration of space is worth it because humans need to explore. Knowledge is always good, and it’s a really cool thing to see.”

— Penn Jillette

47. “I love nuts. I’m for nuts. I am nuts.”

— Penn Jillette

48. “Building a professional relationship on respect as opposed to affection is a very good idea. Running your art projects the way you’d run a dry-cleaning business is also a really good idea. You shouldn’t go into work like you’re going on a date, like you’re hanging out with friends.”

— Penn Jillette

49. “Believing there’s no God means I can’t really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That’s good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.”

— Penn Jillette

50. “Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality.”

— Penn Jillette