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Top 500 Penny Reid Quotes (2026 Update)
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Penny Reid Quote: “He doesn’t seem quiet to me, and he looks like he’d be a playboy, impregnating all the local girls with Viking babies.”

301. “He doesn’t seem quiet to me, and he looks like he’d be a playboy, impregnating all the local girls with Viking babies.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “But that wasn’t how I rolled. Prolonged irrationality wasn’t in my wheelhouse. Recrimination was not my homeboy.”

302. “But that wasn’t how I rolled. Prolonged irrationality wasn’t in my wheelhouse. Recrimination was not my homeboy.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I’m not talking about the girl who wants to have fun and a good time with no strings attached. I’m talking about the girl who’s looking for a free ride after the ride ends.”

303. “I’m not talking about the girl who wants to have fun and a good time with no strings attached. I’m talking about the girl who’s looking for a free ride after the ride ends.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Maybe Jethro, Claire, and I can live together in harmony. Maybe she can be my sister wife. Yes. That was the answer. She could have her pretty farmhouse and custody of Jethro on Sundays. I could have him the rest of the week. And if she touched him, I would claw her eyes out. Perfect.”

304. “Maybe Jethro, Claire, and I can live together in harmony. Maybe she can be my sister wife. Yes. That was the answer. She could have her pretty farmhouse and custody of Jethro on Sundays. I could have him the rest of the week. And if she touched him, I would claw her eyes out. Perfect.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Iwas going to kiss her. But first I was going to strangle her.”

305. “Iwas going to kiss her. But first I was going to strangle her.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Who thinks, I’m going to cheat on my girlfriend, but I’ve got too much of a social conscience to leave my condom wrapper on the floor – heaven forbid I litter.”

306. “Who thinks, I’m going to cheat on my girlfriend, but I’ve got too much of a social conscience to leave my condom wrapper on the floor – heaven forbid I litter.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “How are we supposed to teach our children compassion if we remove all inconveniences from the world around them?” “But.”

307. “How are we supposed to teach our children compassion if we remove all inconveniences from the world around them?” “But.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Are you a hooker?” I flexed my superpower – hiding all thoughts and emotions – and gave him an unperturbed smile.”

308. “Are you a hooker?” I flexed my superpower – hiding all thoughts and emotions – and gave him an unperturbed smile.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Bravery was still bravery, no matter how clumsy the execution.”

309. “Bravery was still bravery, no matter how clumsy the execution.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Best to leave farts and the past behind you.”

310. “Best to leave farts and the past behind you.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Never try to be other than you are. You are perfection, just as you are.”

311. “Never try to be other than you are. You are perfection, just as you are.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “That’s right. I’m looking for an escape. Drew is out there. And – oh God – Cletus, I’m the worst. I’m so awkward, my awkward is embarrassed by my awkward.”

312. “That’s right. I’m looking for an escape. Drew is out there. And – oh God – Cletus, I’m the worst. I’m so awkward, my awkward is embarrassed by my awkward.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Well, I’ll be.” “You’ll be a baboon with dysentery.”

313. “Well, I’ll be.” “You’ll be a baboon with dysentery.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “The thing is, if you can’t tell how a person feels about you, then you probably don’t want to know.”

314. “The thing is, if you can’t tell how a person feels about you, then you probably don’t want to know.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I’ve come to understand clothes matter to most people because society decrees how a person is ‘packaged’ reflects the internal values, abilities, and personality of that person. This packaging is often called ‘personal expression.’ Since deciphering this, I’ve resented the concept of personal expression.”

315. “I’ve come to understand clothes matter to most people because society decrees how a person is ‘packaged’ reflects the internal values, abilities, and personality of that person. This packaging is often called ‘personal expression.’ Since deciphering this, I’ve resented the concept of personal expression.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Why did it have to be Sir McHotpants? Why couldn’t they have sent Colonel Mustard le Mustache or Lady Jelly O’Belly?”

316. “Why did it have to be Sir McHotpants? Why couldn’t they have sent Colonel Mustard le Mustache or Lady Jelly O’Belly?”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I don’t want a beautiful week with you. I want a beautiful lifetime.”

317. “I don’t want a beautiful week with you. I want a beautiful lifetime.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “There will be no bananas!” “There will be entire tropical rainforests of bananas! And coconuts!” I gestured to my breasts. “And, hopefully, bananas rubbing against coconuts.”

318. “There will be no bananas!” “There will be entire tropical rainforests of bananas! And coconuts!” I gestured to my breasts. “And, hopefully, bananas rubbing against coconuts.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I want to touch you and kiss you, frequently, and I want you – ” he shifted on his feet as though steadying himself then his hand reached out; he stepped closer and he cupped my cheek in his palm, “I want you to touch me.”

319. “I want to touch you and kiss you, frequently, and I want you – ” he shifted on his feet as though steadying himself then his hand reached out; he stepped closer and he cupped my cheek in his palm, “I want you to touch me.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “You’re the girl that guys like us, if we’re smart and if we’re lucky that is, you’re the girl we marry. You’re the marriage girl.”

320. “You’re the girl that guys like us, if we’re smart and if we’re lucky that is, you’re the girl we marry. You’re the marriage girl.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “He’d drunk the “my government can do no wrong” Kool-Aid.”

321. “He’d drunk the “my government can do no wrong” Kool-Aid.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Drew sighed. “I’m going to need a chart to keep up with y’all. I can’t remember who is related to who these days.”

322. “Drew sighed. “I’m going to need a chart to keep up with y’all. I can’t remember who is related to who these days.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I tried my best to pretend unkind words were actually just erroneously expressed compliments, as it just made everything nicer for everybody.”

323. “I tried my best to pretend unkind words were actually just erroneously expressed compliments, as it just made everything nicer for everybody.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Kaitlyn Parker has popped Martin Sandeke’s spooning cherry.” I felt his smile grow just before he said, “It’s only fair. I hope to pop your forking cherry.”

324. “Kaitlyn Parker has popped Martin Sandeke’s spooning cherry.” I felt his smile grow just before he said, “It’s only fair. I hope to pop your forking cherry.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I’m just saying, if you can’t have an adventure where you are, what makes you think you’ll have an adventure anywhere else?”

325. “I’m just saying, if you can’t have an adventure where you are, what makes you think you’ll have an adventure anywhere else?”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I’ve never been a fan of funerals for more than the obvious reasons. Of the emotions, mourning in particular feels like something that should be sacred and intensely private.”

326. “I’ve never been a fan of funerals for more than the obvious reasons. Of the emotions, mourning in particular feels like something that should be sacred and intensely private.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Even in my relationship with Jon we’d both recognized that I required a generous amount of space and alone time in order to behave with appropriate affection when we were together.”

327. “Even in my relationship with Jon we’d both recognized that I required a generous amount of space and alone time in order to behave with appropriate affection when we were together.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Yep. That’s what I was thinking about. And, as an aside, I now understood the popularity of housedresses in the mid-twentieth century. A.”

328. “Yep. That’s what I was thinking about. And, as an aside, I now understood the popularity of housedresses in the mid-twentieth century. A.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “In my defense, it wasn’t my monster truck. It was my mother’s.”

329. “In my defense, it wasn’t my monster truck. It was my mother’s.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I allowed my mind and heart to hold hands for a bit and tell me what they wanted for Christmas next year, and every year after.”

330. “I allowed my mind and heart to hold hands for a bit and tell me what they wanted for Christmas next year, and every year after.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I’m not like that. I’m not going to enter a race I can’t win.”

331. “I’m not like that. I’m not going to enter a race I can’t win.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I never cross-pollinate fantasy and reality.”

332. “I never cross-pollinate fantasy and reality.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Boys are stupid. I needed to explore becoming a lesbian. I needed to add this to my to-do list and bump it up to the top.”

333. “Boys are stupid. I needed to explore becoming a lesbian. I needed to add this to my to-do list and bump it up to the top.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Over the years I’d learned absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. The heart becomes wary, somnolent and cynical during periods of prolonged absence, burdened with cares and fears borne in solitude. However, absence does make the body greedy and irrationally amorous with frustrated need.”

334. “Over the years I’d learned absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. The heart becomes wary, somnolent and cynical during periods of prolonged absence, burdened with cares and fears borne in solitude. However, absence does make the body greedy and irrationally amorous with frustrated need.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “She was a line usurper and a bully. I wasn’t in the mood to be bullied or usurped.”

335. “She was a line usurper and a bully. I wasn’t in the mood to be bullied or usurped.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I like you because you are Kaitlyn – genuine, beautiful, brilliant, amazing Kaitlyn – not because you’re Kaitlyn Parker. And I’m in love with you because I can’t help myself.”

336. “I like you because you are Kaitlyn – genuine, beautiful, brilliant, amazing Kaitlyn – not because you’re Kaitlyn Parker. And I’m in love with you because I can’t help myself.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Duct tape is man’s answer to electrons and protons. It’s how we keep matter together.”

337. “Duct tape is man’s answer to electrons and protons. It’s how we keep matter together.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I hated being early. It was like having to wait for the same thing twice.”

338. “I hated being early. It was like having to wait for the same thing twice.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I was so poor, I couldn’t even pay attention.’” I.”

339. “I was so poor, I couldn’t even pay attention.’” I.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “You don’t think all this weeping makes me weak?” “No. I think it makes you brave, because it also makes you soft, and sweet, and honest. And those might not be parts of yourself that you value – or other people see as valuable – but those are the real, raw, essential pieces of you. You deserve to share them with someone, and if that’s me, I’m honored to be that person. I will always, always treasure this side of you.”

340. “You don’t think all this weeping makes me weak?” “No. I think it makes you brave, because it also makes you soft, and sweet, and honest. And those might not be parts of yourself that you value – or other people see as valuable – but those are the real, raw, essential pieces of you. You deserve to share them with someone, and if that’s me, I’m honored to be that person. I will always, always treasure this side of you.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “What?” I whispered, suspicious, still fighting my flare of hormones. Or, more precisely, whoremones. That’s.”

341. “What?” I whispered, suspicious, still fighting my flare of hormones. Or, more precisely, whoremones. That’s.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Undies on, undies on, high ho the dairy-o, I’m going to keep my undies on!”

342. “Undies on, undies on, high ho the dairy-o, I’m going to keep my undies on!”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Explaining the kiss away via alcohol-induced madness made my head feel better, as though the world had been righted on its axis, and inalienable truths still existed. It also made by heart plus all the girly parts of me fee bad, like when you find out Santa is a myth or that Superman doesn’t really exist.”

343. “Explaining the kiss away via alcohol-induced madness made my head feel better, as though the world had been righted on its axis, and inalienable truths still existed. It also made by heart plus all the girly parts of me fee bad, like when you find out Santa is a myth or that Superman doesn’t really exist.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Jethro’s sarcasm was cool whip on whipped cream – completely unnecessary.”

344. “Jethro’s sarcasm was cool whip on whipped cream – completely unnecessary.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Oh, gah! Right in the feels!”

345. “Oh, gah! Right in the feels!”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “I want to be your first everything.”

346. “I want to be your first everything.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “What was one more debit of mortification when my balance sheet was already in the red.”

347. “What was one more debit of mortification when my balance sheet was already in the red.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Being quiet can be louder than shouting.’” I.”

348. “Being quiet can be louder than shouting.’” I.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “My Jenn. Not Billy’s Jenn. Mine. “Jennifer.”

349. “My Jenn. Not Billy’s Jenn. Mine. “Jennifer.”

— Penny Reid

Penny Reid Quote: “Since most of my time was spent in unchecked soliloquy, I held out hope for some wisdom.”

350. “Since most of my time was spent in unchecked soliloquy, I held out hope for some wisdom.”

— Penny Reid

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