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Top 20 Peter Kay Quotes (2025 Update)

Peter Kay Quote: “Garlic bread, it’s the future, I’ve tasted it.”

1. “Garlic bread, it’s the future, I’ve tasted it.”

Peter Kay Quote: “You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks? I swear now, you never get used to that.”

2. “You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks? I swear now, you never get used to that.”

Peter Kay Quote: “I’m not homophobic. I’m not scared of my house.”

3. “I’m not homophobic. I’m not scared of my house.”

Peter Kay Quote: “There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.”

4. “There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.”

Peter Kay Quote: “Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.”

5. “Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.”

Peter Kay Quote: “The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.”

6. “The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.”

Peter Kay Quote: “The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.”

7. “The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.”

Peter Kay Quote: “Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?”

8. “Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?”

Peter Kay Quote: “You never know where to look when eating a banana.”

9. “You never know where to look when eating a banana.”

Peter Kay Quote: “I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”

10. “I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”

Peter Kay Quote: “Is French kissing in France just called kissing?”

11. “Is French kissing in France just called kissing?”

Peter Kay Quote: “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

12. “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

Peter Kay Quote: “It’s impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.”

13. “It’s impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.”

Peter Kay Quote: “Some days you see lots of people on crutches.”

14. “Some days you see lots of people on crutches.”

Peter Kay Quote: “I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they’ll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There’s no place like home!”

15. “I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they’ll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There’s no place like home!”

Peter Kay Quote: “Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down.”

16. “Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down.”

Peter Kay Quote: “Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries’ have a ‘use by’ date?”

17. “Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries’ have a ‘use by’ date?”

Peter Kay Quote: “Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.”

18. “Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.”

Peter Kay Quote: “If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?”

19. “If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?”

Peter Kay Quote: “Old women with mobile phones look wrong.”

20. “Old women with mobile phones look wrong.”

Peter Kay Quote: “One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.”

21. “One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.”

Peter Kay Quote: “No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.”

22. “No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.”

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LIFE SPIRITUALITY

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