“Now, this is where I draw the line! It’s bad enough everybody in town’s going to be thinkin’ I’m sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she’s just about cornered the market on condoms-I don’t know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin’ a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?”