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“This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”

— Tim Hawkins

Featured in: Tim Hawkins Quotes

Tim Hawkins Quote: “This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”

“This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”

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— Dolly Parton

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3. “If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.”

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5. “Storms make trees take deeper roots.”

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6. “We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

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7. “If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.”

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8. “Dream more, learn more, care more, and be more.”

— Dolly Parton

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9. “I hope life treats you kind, and I hope you have all that you ever dreamed of, and I wish you joy and happiness. But above all of this, I wish you love.”

— Dolly Parton

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10. “People will use you as long as you let them.”

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11. “Wildflowers don’t care where they grow.”

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12. “I never tried quitting, and I never quit trying.”

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13. “A great smile is a wonderful asset, but a good heart is pure gold.”

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14. “When someone shows you their true colors, believe them.”

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15. “If you’re feeling low, don’t despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning.”

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16. “Less is not more. More is more.”

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17. “Don’t lose your temper; use it.”

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18. “You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.”

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19. “It’s hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.”

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21. “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. When I’m inspired, I get excited because I can’t wait to see what I’ll come up with next. Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

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22. “Paradise is a state of mind.”

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23. “A positive attitude and a sense of humor go together like biscuits and gravy.”

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24. “Some people say that less is more. But I think more is more.”

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25. “Don’t judge me by the cover, ’cause I’m a real good book.”

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26. “God made me the way that I am and it’s my business to be true to that.”

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27. “I’m on a seefood diet. I see food, I eat it.”

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28. “I pray a lot. I pray that God will show me what to do and will guide me and lead me.”

— Dolly Parton

29. “Some of my dreams are so big they would scare you.”

— Dolly Parton

30. “Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing.”

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31. “If we all climb together, we could climb the highest hill.”

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32. “I’m not going to limit myself just because people won’t accept the fact that I can do something else.”

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33. “Leave something good in every day.”

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34. “I always just thought if you see somebody without a smile, give’em yours!”

— Dolly Parton

35. “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”

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36. “I believe above the storm the smallest prayer will still be heard.”

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37. “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.”

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39. “Songwriting is my way of channeling my feelings and my thoughts. Not just mine, but the things I see, the people I care about. My head would explode if I didn’t get some of that stuff out.”

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40. “I don’t trust anyone who does their own hair. I don’t think it’s natural.”

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44. “My weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order.”

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