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Top 8 Tim Hawkins Quotes (2025 Update)

Tim Hawkins Quote: “I’ve noticed the people most uptight about smokers and drinkers don’t really have a problem with gluttony and gossip.”

1. “I’ve noticed the people most uptight about smokers and drinkers don’t really have a problem with gluttony and gossip.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “Two conditions that warrant someone’s unconditional devotion: 1. Save their life 2. Help them move a pillow top mattress.”

2. “Two conditions that warrant someone’s unconditional devotion: 1. Save their life 2. Help them move a pillow top mattress.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “Do not siphon gas with your mouth.”

3. “Do not siphon gas with your mouth.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father... ′ You don’t talk to you friends like that. ‘Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed’ – he wouldn’t be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, ‘You keep saying Ed... my name’s Joe!”

4. “Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father... ′ You don’t talk to you friends like that. ‘Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed’ – he wouldn’t be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, ‘You keep saying Ed... my name’s Joe!”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”

5. “This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “Some people are more expressive in worship. Some people more subtle and it’s all good.”

6. “Some people are more expressive in worship. Some people more subtle and it’s all good.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “I could always make people around me laugh. It was more of a defense mechanism more than anything else, because I was a pretty shy guy.”

7. “I could always make people around me laugh. It was more of a defense mechanism more than anything else, because I was a pretty shy guy.”

— Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins Quote: “Legality and oppression are not unknown to run hand in hand.”

8. “Legality and oppression are not unknown to run hand in hand.”

— Tim Hawkins

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LIFE SPIRITUALITY

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