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Top 8 Tim Hawkins Quotes (2024 Update)

Tim Hawkins Quote: “I’ve noticed the people most uptight about smokers and drinkers don’t really have a problem with gluttony and gossip.”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “Two conditions that warrant someone’s unconditional devotion: 1. Save their life 2. Help them move a pillow top mattress.”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “Do not siphon gas with your mouth.”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father... ′ You don’t talk to you friends like that. ‘Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed’ – he wouldn’t be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, ‘You keep saying Ed... my name’s Joe!”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “This guy’s testimony is awesome. I hate my testimony. I wish I was addicted to heroin. But no. I had to grow up in a somewhat functional family situation. It’s just not fair. Why can’t I be a crack addict who robbed Fort Knox using nothing but a can of hairspray and a plastic ice cream scoop? Thanks a lot, God.”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “Some people are more expressive in worship. Some people more subtle and it’s all good.”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “I could always make people around me laugh. It was more of a defense mechanism more than anything else, because I was a pretty shy guy.”
Tim Hawkins Quote: “Legality and oppression are not unknown to run hand in hand.”
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