“Take Away Their Stick If the other’s reaction to our No is to hurt or threaten us, our first instinct may be to hurt them back. A more effective strategy, however, is to neutralize the impact of their behavior. If, as in the story of the Zen master, they are threatening to hit you with a stick, don’t hit them back; just take away the stick. In other words, don’t attack the other, but simply remove their ability to attack you.”