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Top 30 William Ury Quotes (2025 Update)

William Ury Quote: “There is a saying that goes, “If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you wouldn’t have any.”

1. “There is a saying that goes, “If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you wouldn’t have any.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “You need to suspend your reaction when you feel like striking back, to listen when you feel like talking back, to ask questions when you feel like telling your opponent the answers, to bridge your differences when you feel like pushing for your way, and to educate when you feel like escalating. Breakthrough.”

2. “You need to suspend your reaction when you feel like striking back, to listen when you feel like talking back, to ask questions when you feel like telling your opponent the answers, to bridge your differences when you feel like pushing for your way, and to educate when you feel like escalating. Breakthrough.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. – Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat We.”

3. “Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. – Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat We.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

4. “As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “I have come to the conclusion that the greatest obstacle to getting what we really want in life is not the other party, as difficult as he or she can be. The biggest obstacle is actually ourselves.”

5. “I have come to the conclusion that the greatest obstacle to getting what we really want in life is not the other party, as difficult as he or she can be. The biggest obstacle is actually ourselves.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “What sustains this “win-lose” mindset is a sense of scarcity, the fear that there is just not enough to go around, so we need to look out for ourselves even at the expense of others.”

6. “What sustains this “win-lose” mindset is a sense of scarcity, the fear that there is just not enough to go around, so we need to look out for ourselves even at the expense of others.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity. To observe our selves, it is valuable to go to the balcony at all times, and especially before, during, and after any problematic conversation or negotiation.”

7. “The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity. To observe our selves, it is valuable to go to the balcony at all times, and especially before, during, and after any problematic conversation or negotiation.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “This inner yes is an unconditionally constructive attitude of acceptance and respect – first toward yourself, then toward life, and finally toward others.”

8. “This inner yes is an unconditionally constructive attitude of acceptance and respect – first toward yourself, then toward life, and finally toward others.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Stay in the Zone. It is so easy in the midst of conflict to get lost in resentment about the past or in anxieties about the future. The challenge is to do the opposite and stay in the present moment, the only place where you have the power to experience true satisfaction as well as to change the situation for the better.”

9. “Stay in the Zone. It is so easy in the midst of conflict to get lost in resentment about the past or in anxieties about the future. The challenge is to do the opposite and stay in the present moment, the only place where you have the power to experience true satisfaction as well as to change the situation for the better.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Respect is essentially a yes to others, not to their demands, but rather to their basic humanity. In this sense, respect is indivisible. When we give respect to others, we are honoring the very same humanity that exists in us. When we acknowledge the dignity of others, we are acknowledging our own dignity. We cannot truly respect others without respecting ourselves at the same time.”

10. “Respect is essentially a yes to others, not to their demands, but rather to their basic humanity. In this sense, respect is indivisible. When we give respect to others, we are honoring the very same humanity that exists in us. When we acknowledge the dignity of others, we are acknowledging our own dignity. We cannot truly respect others without respecting ourselves at the same time.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “For every ounce of power you use, you need to add an ounce of conciliation. Let.”

11. “For every ounce of power you use, you need to add an ounce of conciliation. Let.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Jiddu Krishnamurti: “To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”

12. “Jiddu Krishnamurti: “To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “The other often much prefers a clear answer, even if it is No, than continued indecision and waffling.”

13. “The other often much prefers a clear answer, even if it is No, than continued indecision and waffling.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Perhaps the biggest obstacle is an internal resistance or no to life as it is: we regret the past, worry about the future, and reject our present circumstances. The key to staying in the zone is to let go of this internal resistance and accept the past, trust the future, and embrace the present, just as they are. The key, in other words, is to say yes to life.”

14. “Perhaps the biggest obstacle is an internal resistance or no to life as it is: we regret the past, worry about the future, and reject our present circumstances. The key to staying in the zone is to let go of this internal resistance and accept the past, trust the future, and embrace the present, just as they are. The key, in other words, is to say yes to life.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Once the fight-or-flight reaction gets triggered, the blood flows from our brain to our limbs, and our ability to think clearly diminishes. We forget our purpose and often act exactly contrary to our interests. When we react, we give away our power – our power to influence the other person constructively and to change the situation for the better. When we react, we are, in effect, saying no to our interests, no to ourselves.”

15. “Once the fight-or-flight reaction gets triggered, the blood flows from our brain to our limbs, and our ability to think clearly diminishes. We forget our purpose and often act exactly contrary to our interests. When we react, we give away our power – our power to influence the other person constructively and to change the situation for the better. When we react, we are, in effect, saying no to our interests, no to ourselves.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Winston Churchill once quipped, “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” He went on to say, “I am an optimist. It does not seem much use being anything else.” Trust.”

16. “Winston Churchill once quipped, “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” He went on to say, “I am an optimist. It does not seem much use being anything else.” Trust.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. – Ambrose Bierce If.”

17. “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. – Ambrose Bierce If.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “George Bernard Shaw once observed: “People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.”

18. “George Bernard Shaw once observed: “People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “I used to believe that gratitude for life came from being happy, but I have come to realize that the reverse is also true, perhaps even more so: being happy comes from feeling grateful for life.”

19. “I used to believe that gratitude for life came from being happy, but I have come to realize that the reverse is also true, perhaps even more so: being happy comes from feeling grateful for life.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “To accept our past, it helps to reframe our stories and give a positive meaning to even the most difficult life events. We may have no power to change the past, but we do have the power to change the meaning we assign to it.”

20. “To accept our past, it helps to reframe our stories and give a positive meaning to even the most difficult life events. We may have no power to change the past, but we do have the power to change the meaning we assign to it.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “If there is a single lesson I have learned, it is this: in life, we are destined to lose many things. That is the nature of life. Never mind. Just don’t lose the present. Nothing is worth it.”

21. “If there is a single lesson I have learned, it is this: in life, we are destined to lose many things. That is the nature of life. Never mind. Just don’t lose the present. Nothing is worth it.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “H. W. Longfellow, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”

22. “H. W. Longfellow, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “How many of us can honestly say that we have plumbed the depths of our minds and hearts? How many of us regularly listen to ourselves with empathy and understanding – in the supportive way that a trusted friend can?”

23. “How many of us can honestly say that we have plumbed the depths of our minds and hearts? How many of us regularly listen to ourselves with empathy and understanding – in the supportive way that a trusted friend can?”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.”

24. “How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Taking responsibility for your life means owning your failures and faults as well as your successes and strengths.”

25. “Taking responsibility for your life means owning your failures and faults as well as your successes and strengths.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “The research suggests that, with a few exceptions, major events or traumas that occur even three months earlier have little to no effect on our present happiness. The reason, Gilbert goes on to explain, is that we are able to make our own happiness. We change the way we see the world so that we can feel better.”

26. “The research suggests that, with a few exceptions, major events or traumas that occur even three months earlier have little to no effect on our present happiness. The reason, Gilbert goes on to explain, is that we are able to make our own happiness. We change the way we see the world so that we can feel better.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Take Away Their Stick If the other’s reaction to our No is to hurt or threaten us, our first instinct may be to hurt them back. A more effective strategy, however, is to neutralize the impact of their behavior. If, as in the story of the Zen master, they are threatening to hit you with a stick, don’t hit them back; just take away the stick. In other words, don’t attack the other, but simply remove their ability to attack you.”

27. “Take Away Their Stick If the other’s reaction to our No is to hurt or threaten us, our first instinct may be to hurt them back. A more effective strategy, however, is to neutralize the impact of their behavior. If, as in the story of the Zen master, they are threatening to hit you with a stick, don’t hit them back; just take away the stick. In other words, don’t attack the other, but simply remove their ability to attack you.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Most attackers are looking for easy victims. They’re not looking for a fight, not even a verbal one. Saying No makes you a less attractive target. Submitting and being nice to attackers in the hope that they will be nice to you in return is not the safest strategy.” Saying “No!” helps you gather your energy, reminds you of your right to say No, draws attention, and expresses your power.”

28. “Most attackers are looking for easy victims. They’re not looking for a fight, not even a verbal one. Saying No makes you a less attractive target. Submitting and being nice to attackers in the hope that they will be nice to you in return is not the safest strategy.” Saying “No!” helps you gather your energy, reminds you of your right to say No, draws attention, and expresses your power.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are.”

29. “Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are.”

— William Ury

William Ury Quote: “There may be no better gateway to happiness than cultivating our gratitude.”

30. “There may be no better gateway to happiness than cultivating our gratitude.”

— William Ury

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