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“You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off.”

— Robin Williams

Featured in: Robin Williams Quotes

Robin Williams Quote: “You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off.”

“You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off.”

— Robin Williams

Robin Williams Quote: “You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off.”

Robin Williams Quote: “You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off.”

Robin Williams Quote: “You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off.”

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1. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes, Positive Quotes, Success Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes for Success

2. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

3. “The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”

— Woody Allen

4. “The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Passion Quotes, Desire Quotes, Love You Quotes, Valentine's Day Quotes, Soulmate Quotes

5. “If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Failure Quotes

6. “Just showing up is half the battle.”

— Woody Allen

7. “I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Witty Quotes, Solitude Quotes

8. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes

9. “If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you’re showing up for.”

— Woody Allen

10. “Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Confidence Quotes, Witty Quotes

11. “The only love that lasts is unrequited love.”

— Woody Allen

12. “If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Tuesday Quotes

13. “Life’s hard, then you die.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Life is Hard Quotes, Sad Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Suffering Quotes

14. “Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Luck Quotes

15. “The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”

— Woody Allen

16. “Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym.”

— Woody Allen

17. “The heart wants what it wants.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Romantic Quotes, Broken Heart Quotes, Famous Movie Quotes, Short Love Quotes for Her

18. “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Trust No One Quotes

19. “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

— Woody Allen

20. “We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Witty Quotes

21. “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Boss Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Marriage Quotes

22. “I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Humor Quotes

23. “All I have in my life is my imagination.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Imagination Quotes

24. “Showing up is 80 percent of life.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Funny Work Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life

25. “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”

— Woody Allen

26. “Paranoia is knowing all the facts.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Quotes About Facts

27. “Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.”

— Woody Allen

28. “I’ve become the person I’ve always hated, but I’m happier.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Quotes About Feelings

29. “We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let’s hope we make the right choice.”

— Woody Allen

30. “Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.”

— Woody Allen

31. “I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”

— Woody Allen

32. “Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.”

— Woody Allen

33. “There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”

— Woody Allen

34. “I never start editing a film until it’s completely shot; I don’t edit along the way, ever. When it’s finished I come in here and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we’re finished.”

— Woody Allen

35. “The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Study Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes

36. “Those who can’t do, teach!”

— Woody Allen

37. “Don’t worry, I know almost exactly what I’m doing.”

— Woody Allen

38. “The most important words in the English language are not ‘I love you’ but ‘it’s benign.’”

— Woody Allen

39. “What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream?”

— Woody Allen

40. “Why ruin a good story with the truth?”

— Woody Allen

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

41. “In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”

— Woody Allen

42. “Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.”

— Woody Allen

43. “Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?”

— Woody Allen

44. “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”

— Woody Allen

45. “I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan – I stroke!”

— Woody Allen

46. “Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.”

— Woody Allen

47. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.”

— Woody Allen

48. “My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn’t exist.”

— Woody Allen

49. “I love the rain – it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.”

— Woody Allen

50. “Eternity is really long, especially near the end.”

— Woody Allen

Robin Williams Quotes

Robin Williams Quotes

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Relationship Quotes

Robin Williams Quotes

Robin Williams Quotes

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Creativity Quotes

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Positive Inspirational Quotes

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Short Quotes About Life

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Motivational Work Quotes

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