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“Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

— Ernest Hemingway

Featured in: Ernest Hemingway Quotes

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

“Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

— Ernest Hemingway

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

Ernest Hemingway Quote: “Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, “What will you have, sir?” And I said, “A glass of hemlock.””

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1. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

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3. “The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”

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4. “The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.”

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5. “If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”

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6. “Just showing up is half the battle.”

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7. “I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social.”

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8. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

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9. “If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you’re showing up for.”

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10. “Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”

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11. “The only love that lasts is unrequited love.”

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12. “If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

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13. “Life’s hard, then you die.”

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14. “Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.”

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15. “The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”

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16. “Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym.”

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17. “The heart wants what it wants.”

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18. “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

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19. “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.”

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20. “We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.”

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21. “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”

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22. “I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”

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23. “All I have in my life is my imagination.”

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24. “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”

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25. “Showing up is 80 percent of life.”

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26. “Paranoia is knowing all the facts.”

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27. “Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.”

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28. “We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let’s hope we make the right choice.”

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29. “Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.”

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30. “I’ve become the person I’ve always hated, but I’m happier.”

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31. “I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”

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32. “Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.”

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33. “There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”

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34. “I never start editing a film until it’s completely shot; I don’t edit along the way, ever. When it’s finished I come in here and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we’re finished.”

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35. “The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”

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36. “Those who can’t do, teach!”

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37. “Don’t worry, I know almost exactly what I’m doing.”

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38. “The most important words in the English language are not ‘I love you’ but ‘it’s benign.’”

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39. “What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream?”

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40. “In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”

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42. “Why ruin a good story with the truth?”

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43. “Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?”

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44. “I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan – I stroke!”

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45. “Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.”

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46. “My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn’t exist.”

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49. “Eternity is really long, especially near the end.”

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50. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.”

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